Released 19th October
Seen 5th November
In 1997 a film was released called Jack Frost, a cult horror film about a serial killer who dies in a horrible accident and comes back to life as a Snowman to seek revenge on the officer that captured him. It’s a very low budget cheese-fest filled with elaborate kills and carrot rape… and it’s a better-made film than The Snowman.
Note: Before I start the review just a quick bit of info. I missed all of October due to University assessments, sorry. However, until the end of the year, I’m going to be retroactively reviewing movies that came out this year that I missed on initial release since I didn’t start doing this until about June. This is because I feel like I have time now… and because I want to make sure I don’t miss anything when I do a best/worst list at the end of the year. For these reviews, I’ll put the official date of release along with when I saw it just so everyone can laugh at how slow I am to the party
Date Released: 13th January 2017
Date Seen: 29th October 2017
Don’t think it
Don’t say it
And by “It” I mean this movie
Seen 30th September
Why do these movies start with “American” when the country of origin is really non-essential to the plot? Big movies with this title thing include American Pie… then American Psycho… then American Hustle, American Sniper, American Honey, American Gangster, American Mary, American Me, American Pastoral, American Ultra, American Graffiti, American History X, American Satan, American Beauty, American Made, American Wedding, American Pop, American Violence, American Hero, American Reunion, American Fable, American Gigalo, American Heist MY POINT IS ENOUGH WITH CALLING THINGS AMERICAN (NOUN)!… so, American Assassin
Seen September 23rd
First there was the Lego Movie, and it showed everyone that you could create a piece of art using a licenced toy that was actually good. Then came Lego Batman, which showed you coulde play around in multiple established universes and still tell your own story. Then there was Ninjago… it was a movie.
Seen 14th September
Hello Muddah,
Hello Fuddah,
I saw a movie
What the fuckah?
Seen 26th August
Sometimes, a film doesn’t need that much to be a good time. A good script, a decent set of shot choices and a fun story can often make a good film an easy way to kill 90 minutes. What makes it work best is if you can take all these elements and hand it to two insanely charismatic stars who can carry the film and kick it up several notches through sheer force of personality alone… this film found four such stars and thank god for that.
Seen 20th August
From Talky Tina to Chucky, the concept of a living doll has been a bit of a staple of the horror genre for a long time. The idea of something that has no life of it’s own somehow finding a way to murder is terrifying. Annabelle has been hoping to be added to this group of iconic killer dolls for a while now and finally, with Annabelle: Creation it just might have pulled that off.
Seen 29th July
For years people have been wanting a female version of the Bond series and it makes sense that eventually, we’d get one. A female lead spy thriller just needed to exist and what we got was something pretty fun.
Seen 20th July
Christopher Nolan has one of the best track records in film. The man knows how to put together a movie better than most. When he does blockbusters they bust every block around, when he want’s to go cerebral and produce a weird dream movie then he makes the most elegant dream movie ever. He’s a fantastic film maker… usually.
Seen 16th July
Let’s run a little experiment. What happens when you take ALL of the Lifetime movies and throw them together into a period drama inspired by a 1951 novel with Finnick from The Hunger Games and Evelyn from The Mummy… yes, you get this thing.
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