Moonfall (2022) – Eclipsed

Released: 3rd February
Seen: 19th May

Moonfall Info

Back in the late 90s, one of the biggest names in Blockbusters was Roland Emmerich. The man made Independence Day, a film that not only showed that there was a new master of the blockbuster but also made so much goddamn money. Independence Day was the highest-grossing film of 1996, its visuals are some of the most remembered images from 90s cinema (the shot of a single beam of light destroying the White House alone is etched into the memory of everyone who was around in 1996) and it basically elevated Will Smith into a global cinematic phenomenon… yeah, Roland Emmerich kinda fluked it with that film because he’s really never been that good since, and Moonfall is just proof that he needs a new schtick.

Continue reading “Moonfall (2022) – Eclipsed”

Firestarter (2022) – Fizzles

Released: 12th May
Seen: 17th May

In 1980, Stephen King released his eighth book, Firestarter, which did what most King books tend to do and became a major hit. As is also inevitable with all King books, it was adapted into a film back in 1984… this would be an adaptation that Stephen King hates, only unlike his hatred for The Shining he wouldn’t be alone in his dislike of 1984’s Firestarter.

That film was fairly universally panned by both critics and audiences and remains one of the lesser adaptations of Kings work, which means it’s one of the few works of his that probably warrants a second attempt at adapting since they clearly didn’t get it right the first time… so, see you all in about 40 years when they try again because they didn’t get it right this time either.

Continue reading “Firestarter (2022) – Fizzles”

Assorted Review Links

So, turns out that Soda & Telepaths is back to reviewing again which means the reviews I had once posted on My Kind of Weird are now over on Soda & Telepaths. Now I could probably find an excuse to just do a whole bunch of assorted posts for the 5 reviews I posted but I’ve done that so just going to link to their new places, if you haven’t read them before then go read because they are good and I do good writing words stuff.

  1. Fresh
  2. Sideworld: Haunted Forests of England
  3. Doctor Strange and the Multiverse of Madness
  4. The Twin
  5. Virus:32

…no this isn’t me padding my day streak cos I’ve gotten to 137 and now require the dopamine hit of that number going up in order to function, how dare you accuse me of such things

Senior Year Promo Image

Senior Year (2022) – Failed

Released: 13th May
Seen: 15th May

Senior Year Info

For some reason, there seems to be a strange genre of film where an adult finds some weird reason to go back to high school in order to have shenanigans happen. This can be some weird undercover cop story like a 21 Jump Street scenario or it might just be some rich idiot buying his way back into a school scenario of some kind. Often the reasons are stupid and don’t hold up to any scrutiny but often lead to relatively fun situations… Senior Year has one of the stupidest reasons to have an adult go back to high school that we’ve seen in a while and it’s accompanied by some of the least interesting shenanigans one could imagine.

Continue reading “Senior Year (2022) – Failed”

Marmaduke (2022) – Animated Dog Vomit

Released: 11th May
Seen: 13th May

Marmaduke Info

In June of 1954, the first Marmaduke comic strip was printed in the newspaper. The entire idea of the series revolved around the Winslow family and their Great Dane who was certainly larger than a normal Great Dane but he wasn’t stupidly big. While the comics were popular, having remained in print now for well over 60 years, they’re noted as being kind of dry and simplistic and like a lot of single-strip Sunday comic books, they’re designed to work for one quick joke and not much longer.

Due to this limitation of how the character was intended to be used, Marmaduke probably wouldn’t work for a 90-minute long film and indeed he didn’t, they tried it back in 2010 and it failed spectacularly. Well, the director of this 2022 animated adaptation of Marmaduke clearly wanted to make a worse film and by god, they succeeded.

Continue reading “Marmaduke (2022) – Animated Dog Vomit”

Our Father (2022) – Terrifyingly Real

Released: 11th May
Seen: 13th May

Our Father Info

Donald Cline, the villain that the entire Our Father documentary revolves around, is one of the vilest human beings to walk this earth and that is not a statement made lightly. Specialising in infertility treatments, Donald Cline worked on multiple women who came to him either to have help with a fertility issue involving their husband or who were going to use a sample from a sperm bank… and for many of those (we have no idea how many) Donald Cline would use his own personal semen sample to impregnate these women and he would’ve gotten away with it too if it wasn’t for his own meddling kids getting a 23 and Me test.

Continue reading “Our Father (2022) – Terrifyingly Real”

Downfall: The Case Against Boeing (2022) – Plane and Simple

Released: 18th February
Seen: 11th May

Downfall: The Case Against Boeing

Downfall: The Case Against Boeing begins on 29 October 2018 when Lion Air Flight 610 took off from the Soekarno–Hatta International Airport heading for Depati Amir Airport, both of which are in Indonesia. The plane, a Boeing 737 Max 8, left the ground at 6:20 am with 181 passengers and 8 crew members on board.

Continue reading “Downfall: The Case Against Boeing (2022) – Plane and Simple”