Please Baby Please (2022) – STELLA-R!

Seen at the Sydney Film Festival

Sometimes a film is targeted to such a specific audience that once someone comes up with the perfect one-line description of the plot it almost renders the job of reviewing the film pointless, if the single-line description sounds like a great film to you then you’re going to like it and if not then you’ll probably hate it. Please Baby Please is part of this year’s roster of films that are part of the Sydney Film Festival and in the film festival program this film was described with the sentence “A Streetcar Named Desire by way of John Waters”… so that’s my job rendered useless, if that phrase doesn’t immediately make you go “I HAVE TO SEE THAT” then this film isn’t for you, review effectively over. 

But screw it, we’re here, let’s bump up the word count a little bit

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The Bob’s Burgers Movie (2022) – Juicy

Released: 26th May
Seen: 31st May

In early 2011, the first episode of Bob’s Burgers hit the airwaves and was an instant hit for maybe the first week and then the ratings quickly went down. Reviews for the early season were mixed and the show was considered to be on the bubble in terms of renewal but it eventually got a second season. Around the second season, the show began to pick up its stride, slowly turning into a juggernaut and currently has been running for 12 seasons with a 13th one already ordered… and this reviewer has only seen up to episode 2 of the second season. This means that going into The Bob’s Burgers Movie there’s a chance to answer the question “Can The Bob’s Burgers Movie work for someone who isn’t caught up on the show’s history?” and the answer is a resounding glorious yes.

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Marry Me (2022) – A Little

Released: 10th February
Seen: 23rd May

Marry Me Info

In 2020 Jennifer Lopez was robbed, one of the biggest robberies in recent years which we shall not be getting over any time soon… that robbery was, as they often are, perpetrated by the Oscars who denied her a nomination for her absolutely jaw-dropping performance in Hustlers. It was a shocker to everyone that she was snubbed, she was one of the people everyone just assumed were going to be nominated but for some reason, she wasn’t. Still, it was enough for people to really see just what Jennifer could do when given a chance and people were hopeful that her next big film might be able to get her the award she should’ve had 2 years ago… she then made Marry Me, a film that’s basically fine but isn’t going to be getting any awards any time soon.

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Chip ‘n Dale: Rescue Rangers (2022) – Picking Up The Slack

Released: 20th May
Seen: 22nd May

The history of the Chip & Dale characters goes all the way back to 1943 when they were mostly known as a pair of adorable creatures who got into over the top scrapes against people who were in some way invading their space, normally Donald Duck. They appeared in about 2 dozen assorted cartoons before the end of the 60s and then were basically relegated to being background stock characters who might be brought up for a quick gag until they were rebooted into the versions most people know them as today, that being Chip ‘n Dale: Rescue Rangers which was part of the early run of the Disney Afternoon. Since about the 90s most people think of Chip & Dale as the Rescue Rangers and while they might get brought up here or there, they haven’t really had a major moment to shine since then… until now

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Senior Year Promo Image

Senior Year (2022) – Failed

Released: 13th May
Seen: 15th May

Senior Year Info

For some reason, there seems to be a strange genre of film where an adult finds some weird reason to go back to high school in order to have shenanigans happen. This can be some weird undercover cop story like a 21 Jump Street scenario or it might just be some rich idiot buying his way back into a school scenario of some kind. Often the reasons are stupid and don’t hold up to any scrutiny but often lead to relatively fun situations… Senior Year has one of the stupidest reasons to have an adult go back to high school that we’ve seen in a while and it’s accompanied by some of the least interesting shenanigans one could imagine.

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Marmaduke (2022) – Animated Dog Vomit

Released: 11th May
Seen: 13th May

Marmaduke Info

In June of 1954, the first Marmaduke comic strip was printed in the newspaper. The entire idea of the series revolved around the Winslow family and their Great Dane who was certainly larger than a normal Great Dane but he wasn’t stupidly big. While the comics were popular, having remained in print now for well over 60 years, they’re noted as being kind of dry and simplistic and like a lot of single-strip Sunday comic books, they’re designed to work for one quick joke and not much longer.

Due to this limitation of how the character was intended to be used, Marmaduke probably wouldn’t work for a 90-minute long film and indeed he didn’t, they tried it back in 2010 and it failed spectacularly. Well, the director of this 2022 animated adaptation of Marmaduke clearly wanted to make a worse film and by god, they succeeded.

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The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent (2022) – NIC-FUCKIIIIIIING-CAGE

Released: 21st April
Seen: 24th April

Nicolas Cage is one of the most fascinating actors in modern history, with one of the wildest resumes you will ever find. He’s gone from mega-blockbusters like the National Treasure franchise to little weird indie films like Mandy and all the while he has developed a reputation of being able to commit completely to a film no matter how weird or bad it might be (Say what you will about his performance in Wicker Man, Cage did not half-ass it). He’s an Oscar winner and an absolute legend of the art form and has the kind of notoriety that makes him great fodder for comedy… and in The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent, Nicolas Cage decides that if anyone’s going to make jokes about him then Cage is going to do them better than anyone.

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Jackass Forever (2022) – Painfully Funny

Released: 3rd February
Seen: 24th April

Jackass Forever Info

Some films are intellectual explorations that demand an in-depth analysis or an explanation of the political elements that make up the absolute insanity of the plot. Some films come with serious baggage that needs to be explored in depth. Some films come with enough baggage that they need some qualifiers or even warnings in order to properly prepare potential audiences for what is to come, positive or negative… and then there’s Jackass Forever, it’s a couple of dozen guys and a woman who find various ways to do bodily injury to each other for the entertainment of the masses and for that, we thank them because Jackass Forever is fucking hilarious.

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