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Vice (2018) – Pictures Of Your Dick (Cheney)

Released: 26th December
Seen: 31st December

Vice Info.png

It’s a turbulent time to talk about politics, the chances of offending someone by stating an opinion is on the rise so clearly now is the perfect time to release a very politically charged biopic made by a bunch of left wing Hollywood people about a right wing political figure and the effects that his actions still have on the planet today. I can’t see a single person having an issue with this at all… so, for full disclosure I’m more on the left side of politics and that might color my opinion on some things in this movie and it might also mean you may not want to hear my opinion on the most politically charged movie of the year, I am totally aware of that and I need you to be aware before we go on because I don’t plan on holding back my opinion or sugar coating it so with that out of the way, let’s do this.

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Another RuView: All Stars 4, Episode 3

Well hasn’t this been an interesting week in the fandom of Drag Race. While we were still recovering from the glorious second episode we had someone leak the entire third episode… who Wow is probably hunting down right now with a spoon so they can extract painful vengeance upon them. It was certainly a fun thing to see people replying directly to tweets by the cast “We already saw the episode”, because I’m sure VH1 and Wow love being told directly that the episode they worked hard on got leaked and reminded of that hourly. But, since it was leaked, I can now assume everyone saw it a few dozen times and I don’t have to do this.

Wait, I do? Oh right, I decided to actually try and make this into something so I have to do it. OK, here we go.

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Holmes & Watson (2018) – The Defective Detective

Released: 26th December
Seen: 27th December

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In all of literature, one of the most beloved and adapted characters is that of Sherlock Holmes. The story of a genius detective who goes around solving crimes, defeating Moriarty and working with his friend Dr Watson is the stuff of legends that everyone has had a crack at. He’s been in action oriented films, weekly episodic TV shows, miniseries, he was a gnome at one point, an animated rat another time, a doctor for a very long period of time and even a Japanese puppet. Sherlock Holmes has been everything and in every kind of movie… and now, he can add “Awful unfunny comedy” to the long list of film projects he’s been associated with.

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Aquaman (2018) – It’s Better, Down Where It’s Wetter

Released: 26th December
Seen: 26th December

Aquaman Info.png

DC has really had something of a bad time with their attempt at a cinematic universe. While the hardcore DC fan base have enjoyed the films so far, with general audiences they’ve been critically panned and have such a horrible reputation that the massive team up movie Justice League is the worst performing film in the franchise. That’s almost impossible to contemplate, the film where every major DC superhero was meant to team up in an event that we have been building too for four movies and it didn’t make as much money as Suicide Squad. The audience is effectively done with what the DC universe is offering now. There were serious talks for a while that the upcoming Flashpoint movie might be used just to try and erase the entire franchise and start again from scratch, it’s not looking good for the DCEU who not only have a failing franchise on their hands that can barely bring them a return on investment, but the franchise is now so far behind the juggernaut MCU that it seems unlikely they’ll ever catch up. For this franchise to still have legs it needs this film to be good. All they had to do was make something that didn’t hurt to watch and they might actually put themselves on the right track… and oh thank god they pulled it off.

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Another RuView: All Stars 4, Episode 2

Another week has come and gone and here we are surrounded by queens. With our beloved Jush gone, it’s time to make a girl group challenge happen (So, we know they won’t be doing that for the inevitable “Bring the girls back” episode). This challenge also comes with one glorious addition, winner of All-Stars 5 miss Stacy Layne Matthews. So, let’s get into it Henny.

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Peppermint (2018) – Not Exactly Minty Fresh

Released: 15th November
Seen: 21st December

You know what’s really difficult about writing these reviews? Figuring out how to start them. Sometimes it comes easy, there’s a really good comparison I can make to give the reader a quick idea of the direction I might go in or there’s a half decent joke I can build too. Sometimes though, there’s nothing. Sometimes, there is no really good comparison or a bit of weird history, sometimes a film just pops up out of nowhere and surprises you with its release, mildly impresses you with how it’s telling a well-told story and then… nothing. It’s not that it’s awful, it just kind of happens to be there and there isn’t exactly that much to say about it that would make a good lead into the main portion of the review.

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Once Upon A Deadpool (2018) – Once More, With Savage

Released: 12th December
Seen: 19th December

One of the most infamous bad horror movies of the ’80s was a film called Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2. The internet knows it mostly because of the infamous “GARBAGE DAY” scene that was a meme a while ago. The movie itself is a barely repackaged copy of the original movie, edited down with interstitial scenes featuring the brother of the main character from the first movie and a psychiatrist who literally go over the events of the original film in detail before moving onto a new story in the second half of the film. Beyond the Garbage Day sequence, there wasn’t much about it that was memorable. At best it was a mediocre cash in that barely tried to differentiate itself from the original and was trying to bank on the media uproar that surrounded the original film in the franchise… so, what if someone took the “Repackage an old movie” idea, used a good movie to do it, but didn’t bother to add any new story elements of any kind and just relied on a marketing gimmick in order to make some money? Turns out, that might work but only up to a certain point.

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Second Act (2018) – Intermission

Released: 6th December
Seen: 18th December

Second Act Info Peter Segal Justin Zackham Elaine Goldsmith-Thomas Jennifer Lopez Leah Remini Vanessa Hudgens Milo Ventimiglia Freddie Stroma

There is something in a comedy that is more valuable than the script will ever be, an element that a lot of films seem to forget. It’s the chemistry in the cast. A good cast with great chemistry can make absolutely any film work, while a bad cast couldn’t make a Marx Brother’s routine funny. It’s more important than anything else that the cast is able to make a scene feel funny and charming, even when the jokes aren’t exactly the best thing ever… my god, this might be one of the most delightfully charming casts that I’ve ever had the joy of seeing on film.

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The Nutcracker and the Four Realms (2018) – Not that Suite

Released: 22nd November
Seen: 17th December

The Nutcracker And The Four Realms Cast & Crew

It’s hard to understate just how popular The Nutcracker ballet actually is. It’s one of the most reproduced ballets you could imagine, representing almost half of what American ballet companies make every year. The score is iconic and has transcended beyond anything that Tchaikovsky could’ve imagined. The show, the music, the story of The Nutcracker is legendary and has lived on for well over a century… which means it’s copyright ran out so Disney can come in, claim it, kill it, pillage the corpse for anything it chooses and leave it as hollow, lifeless and empty as a Tin Soldier.

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Ralph Breaks The Internet (2018) – L̶̗͕͓͈̅͋̑ó̸͙͇͌̐̏a̴̛̮̦̹̻͑̅d̵̡̼͇͐̚͘͝ͅi̴͚̞̦̅̕n̸̮͕͐g̶̛̲̼͐͋̀.̴̨̤̘̞̎̌͒͑.̶̻̜̩͙̈́͘.̸̜̌́

Released: 26 December
Seen: 16th December (Advanced Screening)

Six Years ago, Disney unleashed Wreck-It Ralph onto screens and it was a huge hit. Everyone was floored by how bold it was, a raucous combination of video game characters that we hadn’t seen together before, telling a tale of a video game villain and a video game glitch who we would come to love. It was a monster hit for the company who had only just bought Star Wars that same year. It’s weird to remember that but when the first Wreck-It Ralph came out it was days after Disney bought out Star Wars, cementing their ownership of everyone’s childhoods. In the last year Disney did something similar by buying Fox Entertainment and it raised two big questions

  1. Is anyone going to put a check on this obvious corporate monopoly that’s effectively trying to buy all entertainment as we know it?
  2. …so, when are Storm Troopers going to turn up in a Disney movie and have fights with a Disney princess?

I might not be able to answer the first one, but we now have an answer to the second one.

Continue reading “Ralph Breaks The Internet (2018) – L̶̗͕͓͈̅͋̑ó̸͙͇͌̐̏a̴̛̮̦̹̻͑̅d̵̡̼͇͐̚͘͝ͅi̴͚̞̦̅̕n̸̮͕͐g̶̛̲̼͐͋̀.̴̨̤̘̞̎̌͒͑.̶̻̜̩͙̈́͘.̸̜̌́” →