Dunkirk

Seen 20th July

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Christopher Nolan has one of the best track records in film. The man knows how to put together a movie better than most. When he does blockbusters they bust every block around, when he want’s to go cerebral and produce a weird dream movie then he makes the most elegant dream movie ever. He’s a fantastic film maker… usually.

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The House

Seen 11th July

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When you hear the concept for this movie, you know exactly what you’re going to get. You know the kind of jokes that’re going to come, you know the kind of story beats that’ll appear… thank god this movie has incredible leads to carry it or else this might end badly.

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Cars 3

Seen 10th July

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In Pixar’s short history they have found a way to make some of the most emotional movies. Toy Story 3, Up, Inside Out, Wall-E, all movies that have a reputation of pulling at the heartstrings and making even the toughest viewer cry like an anime fan on prom night. Sadly, they’ve never gotten that level of emotion with Cars and certainly didn’t get it with Cars 3

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Spider-man: Homecoming

Seen 6th July

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First we had Tobey Maguire donning the infamous red suit for three movies in the early 2000’s. When he became unavailable the franchise rebooted and the suit went over to Andrew Garfield for the 2012 reboot The Amazing Spider-Man. Then this time, I’m guessing because having a guy pushing 30 playing a high schooler is creepy, they grabbed Tom Holland to try on the tights. Can we keep him? I like this one.

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Baby Driver

Seen 5th June

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Edgar Wright has been somewhat of a miracle of cinema since he burst through the door with Shaun of the Dead. He’s a man who knows what he want’s to make and always had a way of selling his work. From Shaun to Hot Fuzz to Scott Pilgrim, time and time again Edgar proved to everyone that he knew his stuff. Edgar has never made anything quite as perfect as Baby Driver.

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Transformers: The Last Knight

Seen 3rd July

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In the 2004 film Team America Matt Stone and Trey Parker posed a very simple question, “Why does Michael Bay get to keep on making movies?”. They were referring to Pearl Harbor, A film where Michael Bay decided to turn one of the worst attacks on America into a love story. Well, good news, Michael Bay is no longer desecrating American history… he’s moved on to desecrating the entire planet’s history, science, logic, basic movie making and humanity in general.

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Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Long Haul

Seen 1st July

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In the late ‘80s and ‘90s when VHS was getting popular, there was a phenomenon known as the “Straight-to-video Movie”. When DVD came in, they only got bigger. Straight-to-video movies were huge because they were cheap to make, you only needed one recognizable name and as long as there was a Blockbuster around you were guaranteed to make money. This genre is why Steven Seagal is able to eat. It’s also the genre that Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Long Haul should be in because it sure as hell doesn’t belong in a cinema.

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