Unwelcome (2023) – Welcome Back

So time to pimp the first review I’ve written for the site Phasr, a review for a fun little horror film called Unwelcome about redcaps and angry Irish people… I promise I only make like 3 jokes about the Irish at the most. It’s a good review for a good movie, you should read it and give me praise because that’s a nice thing to do

Extraction 2 (2023) – Even More Extraction!

Released: 16th June
Seen: 26th June

In the year of our lord 2020, Netflix released something that it doesn’t get to release often… a hit film that people actually watched. That film was Extraction, a powerhouse action flick directed by the stunt coordinator for such films as Avengers: Endgame and the Hunger Games Trilogy, which meant that it was basically designed from the ground up to deliver intense high-caliber action sequences with a somewhat interesting story to hold everything together. At the time the film managed to get 99 million viewers in the first month, it’s currently the 7th most viewed original film on the platform (at least as far as we know because Netflix is cagey about releasing its viewer data) – obviously Netflix was going to make a sequel to one of their biggest hits and so they brought back a few of the original cast, the original director and writing team and said “Go do that again” and sure enough, they went and did it again.

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Elemental (2023) – Elementary

Released: 15th June
Seen: 22nd June

When it comes to releasing quality films, there are very few studios that could be labeled as sure bets. Studios that, more often than not, are somewhat of a marker for quality films. If you’re a horror fan and see Blumhouse, you’ve got a good shot. People who might call themselves Cinephiles perk up seeing A24, Superhero buffs rush to Marvel films, it’s just a fact that some studio markers will get people paying attention and the kings of that in family film for the last few decades have been Disney/Pixar who has basically just released great films non-stop for decades. Even with their most recent releases having trouble at the box office, they’re still making good quality films that capture the imagination and test the limits of the 3D animation software that they use, and with Elemental they’ve absolutely pulled that off again.

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The Flash (2023) – Flash In The Pan

Released: 15th June
Seen: 20th June

The Flash Info

The Flash tells a very complicated story, both on and off-screen (but we’ll get to the off-screen stuff later). The story starts with Barry Allen (Ezra Miller) who is still dealing with the after-effects of being part of the Justice League, basically meaning he has to be on call whenever Bruce Wayne needs backup AKA someone to speedily clean up after his mess. Between those jobs he is doing what Barry Allen always does, calling his father who is in jail for murdering Barry’s mother (a crime he didn’t do) and trying to find evidence to prove his innocence. Somehow, Barry learns that his speed powers can be used to go back in time which means he should be able to go back in time to save his mom’s life… unfortunately, that also means he has somehow changed the world in ways he will have to spend the entire film dealing with.

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Mad Heidi (2023) – Good and Cheesey

Copy provided for review
Seen: 10th June

In 1880, author Johanna Spyri wrote the first book in the Heidi series. The story of a little orphan girl who lived in the Alps was immensely popular, one of the most famous pieces of Swedish literature ever printed and has been adapted to film multiple times over the years. The character of Heidi in particular has this image of innocence that’s so powerful that one of the most famous people to play her in a movie was Shirley Temple and after so many adaptations it becomes harder and harder to find a new angle on how to approach the story of Heidi. However, much like the recent season of Drag Race showed us that there’s a lot of fun in being a demented version of Shirley Temple, Mad Heidi shows off just how much fun it can be to take a character as innocent as Heidi and throw her into the world of glorious 70’s exploitation cinema!

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These Two Hands – The Story Of Bowen Therapy (2023) – Handy

These Two Hands – The Story Of Bowen Therapy is available as part of the Melbourne Documentary Film Festival

Tom Bowen was born in 1916 and lived a seemingly normal life working as a concreter in Victoria until he developed a system that would come to be known as the Bowen Technique. The idea was that a certain set of hand movements on someone’s skin could alleviate chronic pain permanently, which it allegedly did to the thousands of people who passed through Bowen’s care. After leaving concreting, Bowen’s practice became so busy he would often see between 65-100 patients a day until his passing in 1982. The man’s work and his life story are the central subject of These Two Hands – The Story Of Bowen Therapy and it’s certainly interesting… let’s start with that.

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Belly of the Beast: A Torquay Story (2023) – Hang Ten Dudes!

Belly of the Beast: A Torquay Story is available as part of the Melbourne Documentary Film Festival

Belly of the Beast: A Torquay Story

Roughly one hour’s drive south of Melbourne is the little coastal town of Torquay, a small town that houses the Australian National Surfing Museum. This makes sense considering the history of Torquay as a surfing mecca, a place where several surfing legends got their start and the location that would end up inspiring the creation of well-known surf brands Rip Curl and Quicksilver. Its history is tied to the growth of one of the most Australian sports of them all, surfing… but I’m a big nerd who wouldn’t go to the beach if you paid me, let alone get on a surfboard, so I don’t know any of that history, or at least I didn’t until seeing Belly of the Beast: A Torquay story and now I have a fairly good education on the matter because this is an insanely informative film.

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Walkatjurra (2023) – Takes Action

Walkatjurra is available as part of the Melbourne Documentary Film Festival

Since 1954 Australia has been mining uranium to supply it to other countries (mainly the US and UK, though there have been others in recent years) where it can be turned into nuclear weapons or used in power plants. Those weapons were tested in several parts of Australia up until 1963 so several areas are still pretty radioactive… and hey, there is still uranium to be mined and profit to be made so we keep digging it up. It’s been 70 years since we started digging and more and more protests are happening to try and be a force for change, hopefully ending this system once and for all. One group’s protest that’s filmed as the central focus of Walkatjurra involves a 200km walk through the desert where a lot of this mining has taken place, a mobile protest that shows that this land is precious and used by a lot of people. 

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Dig Deeper (2023) – Digs Deep

Dig Deeper is available as part of the Melbourne Documentary Film Festival

Getting into the art world is an obscenely difficult thing to do at the best of times, especially when it comes to getting your work displayed at any major gallery. This is especially hard for indigenous art which is often not given the amount of respect, attention and potential space that it deserves. It also tends to often be pigeonholed as art rooted in history that predates most people viewing it which leaves out a substantial element of indigenous art. Dig Deeper takes a look at four specific indigenous artists who stand out for pointedly defying that image and making it big in the art world and their work is absolutely stunning.

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Teacher (2023) – Lesson Learned

Teacher is available as part of the Melbourne Documentary Film Festival

There is no job that’s more thankless than that of a school teacher, this is a universal truth that has only become more accurate as time goes on. Not only is it a job that requires incredible time, knowledge and passion but in dealing with kids there’s the requirement of almost saintly patience and ability to deal with just about anything that comes up, all while being obscenely underpaid and working with limited resources because for some reason society has decided to make this job as hard as possible. This was all true BEFORE a global pandemic but when that happened and teaching had to be done online it got exponentially harder. In Teacher, we get a glimpse into just how much harder.

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