Mortal Kombat II (2026) – Round 2, FIGHT!

Released: 8th May
Seen: 28th July

In 2021, a new adaptation of the video game Mortal Kombat came out. While its release was mildly hampered due to the pandemic (it was delayed and then released simultaneously in cinemas and on HBO Max because of that plague we all lived through and seem to want to pretend didn’t happen), the film did well enough and got moderately good reviews. I enjoyed it well enough but found it to be a little bit of a lore dump overstuffed with exposition that no one actually gives a fuck about because, while the lore of Mortal Kombat is surely fascinating, it’s not the thing that anyone really remembers about that franchise. The big thing was that we didn’t get to enjoy the tournament-style fights that the game franchise was known for and that felt like a big mistake… Well, Mortal Kombat II clearly heard everyone saying how much they wanted the tournament and decided to give us exactly that, and it’s a better movie because of it.

Continue reading “Mortal Kombat II (2026) – Round 2, FIGHT!”

Masters Of The Universe (2026) – IT HAS THE POWER!!

Released: 10th July
Seen: 26th July

The history of He-Man begins in 1982 with the release of the first toy line which was a massive hit. The toys came out with a mini comic attached that gave some backstory that would then explode with the release of the He-Man And The Masters Of The Universe cartoon series which was basically just a glorified toy advertisement but a toy advertisement that was insanely popular and would become a touchstone of 80s kids entertainment. It was the kind of series that was so undeniably huge that it had to be turned into a film at some point, which it was in 1987. That film was something of an infamous bomb, though like a lot of weird 80s movies that were attached to nostalgic properties it became a bit of a cult hit. After that movie it seemed like the Masters of the Universe were relegated to being occasionally rebooted in animated form but wouldn’t get another crack at being a movie until 2026 when Masters of the Universe came out and also bombed… which sucks because it’s actually amazing.

Continue reading “Masters Of The Universe (2026) – IT HAS THE POWER!!”

The Magic Faraway Tree (2026) – Whimsical

Released: 23rd March
Seen: 23rd July

Enid Blyton might be one of the most prolific authors in history, if we are to believe she wrote everything accredited to her (there’s controversy on that, but that’s for someone else to address). Between 1922 and her death in 1968, she is the credited author of 762 books which include such beloved series as the Magic Wishing Chair, Noddy and The Magic Faraway Tree. The Magic Faraway Tree is particularly memorable to people of my age (my guess is specifically those who lived in Australia and Britain) thanks to a short-lived TV series The Magic of the Faraway Tree, based on the books with one of the most strangely memorable theme tunes from the era. It’s one of those stories that feels like it was always destined to be a charming feel-good children’s film if they ever got around to making one… well, they got around to it and lo and behold, it does exactly what you would want such a film to do.

Continue reading “The Magic Faraway Tree (2026) – Whimsical”

The Super Mario Galaxy Movie (2026) – Player 2

Released: 1st April
Seen: 20th July

In 2023, Mario and Luigi made their grand transition from the world of video games to the world of animated films. The Super Mario Bros. Movie came out to massive fanfare, becoming the second-highest-grossing film worldwide of 2023 (just behind Barbie) and it basically proved that you could take this 40-year-old game series and make a film out of it that wasn’t an instant joke. The delightful bright coloured world of the Mushroom Kingdom was so enjoyable and inviting that it really shouldn’t have shocked anyone that it would go on to make over a billion dollars and, once it made that billion, it shouldn’t have been a shock that a sequel would be announced. Now we have The Super Mario Galaxy Movie and while it might not be as delightful as the film that came before it, it’s still a lot of fun.

Continue reading “The Super Mario Galaxy Movie (2026) – Player 2”

The Odyssey (2026) – Let’s Do The Odyssey

Released: 9th April
Seen: 20th July

In the 8th century BC, Homer wrote the epic poem The Odyssey. The poem spanned over 12,000 lines and told the story of a warrior trying to make his way back home, a story that would go on to be one of the most adapted tales in history. It’s been told as a straight-up epic, an opera, a crime comedy by the Coen brothers, a futuristic animated cartoon, if you can think of a way for someone to retell the story of The Odyssey, it’s probably been done. Probably the obvious way to tell the story is as the grandiose epic, after all an epic poem deserves an epic adaptation and this one has already had a few of those before… but until now, it hasn’t been thrown into the hands of a cinematic icon like Christopher Nolan who seems to revel in proving to the world that he’s one of the greatest filmmakers of all damn time.

Continue reading “The Odyssey (2026) – Let’s Do The Odyssey”

Project Hail Mary (2026) – Rocks

Released: 19th March
Seen: 1st July

One of the most beloved stories that cinema keeps going back to is “Man interacts with aliens”. It’s a time-tested story that allows for so many variations, from the whimsical wonder of ET to the nightmarish horror of The Thing, cinema has run the gamut of ways to show a human having to deal with a creature from another planet, figure out how to communicate with said creature and either save or destroy it. It’s been done so many times that we’re almost out of new alien designs that we can use before repeating ourselves. So one would think that another film about a human going to space and spending the entire time interacting with an alien would feel at least a little rote, a little repetitive… somehow, Project Hail Mary manages to feel fresh while also being charming as all hell.

Continue reading “Project Hail Mary (2026) – Rocks”

Supergirl (2026) – Averagegirl

Released: 25th June
Seen: 25th June

Roughly one year ago, Superman returned to us. After the absolute disaster that was the DCU, we were given a Superman who cares and there was much rejoicing. It was a genuinely charming movie with one of the best Superman actors we’ve had since the Christopher Reeve-era and I do not say that lightly. I named that film the second best film of 2025 and the performance of Superman was my third favourite performance in that same year. It was a genuinely great work of art that showed that there was space in the modern era for a kinder sweeter Superman. The ending of that film had a brief moment for Supergirl (Milly Alcock) who came to collect her dog Krypto and showed that this universe’s Supergirl was a bit of a drunken disaster who we would eventually get to spend an entire movie following. It was exciting, it seemed like it should be fun and now that film has come out and… it’s OK, it’s a genuinely OK movie but it should be so much better than OK.

Continue reading “Supergirl (2026) – Averagegirl”

Hoppers (2026) – Golden Beaver

Released: 26th March
Seen: 20th June

One of the big problems that people have with the modern film landscape is that it feels like most movies that make it to cinemas have to either be based on a pre-existing IP (book, TV show, Reddit story that inexplicably gets popular) or a sequel to a film that was a previous hit. This seems to be reflected in the box office, if you look at this year’s top 10 highest grossing films you’ll see sequels, movies based on books and even a film that heavily utilises the IP of one of the biggest popstars of all time. There are only 2 films in the top 10 highest-grossing films of 2026 (at the time of writing this review) that are not based on some already existing property. The first is the megahit Obsession which exploded due to great word of mouth and the other is the subject of this review, Pixar’s first big film of this year, Hoppers.

Continue reading “Hoppers (2026) – Golden Beaver”

Toy Story 5 (2026) – Technically Brilliant

Released: 18th June
Seen: 19th June

The Toy Story franchise feels like a miracle at this point, it’s certainly a franchise that goes past any reasonable explanation in terms of quality. The first film was basically a test to see if you could even make a full-length feature film using CGI characters and make it interesting, it went on to be the second-highest-grossing film of 1995 (I know, I feel old too just realising it’s been 31 years) and effectively killed the hand-drawn animation genre. Toy Story 2 was almost deleted by accident and intended to go straight to DVD, it ended up as the third highest-grossing film of 1999 and is widely considered as good as, or better than the original. Toy Story 3 came out nearly a decade later in 2010, had a six-year production period and seemingly closed the story out. It would go on to make a billion dollars, be the highest-grossing film of that year and finally win this franchise the Best Animated Feature Oscar. Then in 2019 came Toy Story 4, a film that many people doubted because the story was finished pretty perfectly in part three but it proved us wrong, creating another nearly perfect movie that again made a billion dollars and won this franchise its second Best Animated Feature Oscar. It’s kind of wild just realizing that this franchise has somehow produced four absolute classics of the genre and keeps finding new ways to delight young audiences with its story about a bunch of toys that come to life whenever you aren’t looking… Well, looks like we’re gonna have to make that five absolute classics because the bastards did it again.

Continue reading “Toy Story 5 (2026) – Technically Brilliant”

Send Help (2026) – Outwits, Outlasts, Outplays

Released: 29th January
Seen: 13th May

In the year 2000, the world was introduced to a reality show that would go on to effectively change history. Survivor, now in its 50th season, took a bunch of random people and dumped them on an island with nothing but their wits and tasked them with surviving for 39 days to try and win a million-dollar prize. It was a monster hit, revolutionised TV as we know it, effectively turned reality TV into the genre we know today and made producer Mark Burnett into such a massive figure that he was able to get another show off the ground, The Apprentice. Speaking of things that start with getting trapped on a desert island and end in unnecessary death, carnage and projectile vomiting, Send Help is a pretty great movie.

Continue reading “Send Help (2026) – Outwits, Outlasts, Outplays”