Rebel Moon: Part Two – The Scargiver (2024) – Scarring

Released: 19th April
Seen: 28th April

On the 19th of April an interview with director Zack Snyder dropped where he delivered this quote:

You may love or hate my movies, I’m 100% fine with that but a vote against me is a vote for the focus groups. Know by saying ‘Snyder sucks’ you’re also saying “you know what? give me more focus groups! I want Happy Meals!

As one might expect, the second this phrase hit the internet there was a group of people who took issue with it, myself being one of them. This quote kind of speaks to the arrogance of Zack Snyder, how he seems to believe that his films are something so outside the mainstream and doing something so unique that we have to support him for the love of cinema. It is, truthfully, one of the most pretentious things that has ever been said by a director of mainstream cinema… it’s also absolute bullshit because, having now seen Rebel Moon: Part Two – The Scargiver, there’s truly nothing about it that goes against focus groups because it reeks of the most pandering studio bullshit one could imagine.

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American Fiction (2024) – Stranger Than… Well

Released: 9th January
Seen: 27th February

We live in an age where we keep hearing the same refrain over and over again, “No one can take a joke anymore, you can’t joke about anything”. It’s a refrain screamed largely by people who’ve been telling the exact same joke since 1993 and can’t be bothered to update their material. The truth is that you can still make jokes about pretty much anything as long as you do it well, you can push the boundaries of good taste if you’re able to actually do something interesting. Comedy is still fairly easy to do and can be quite shocking while doing it, you just need to not only tell the jokes well but know what you want to target with your comedy. American Fiction knows exactly what it wants to target with its comedy, and oh boy does it land every single punch that it throws.

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Past Lives (2023) – Living

Released: 31st August 2023
Seen: 25th February 2024

There’s a pretty standard formula when it comes to romantic dramas about childhood sweethearts who split apart and then bump into each other as adults. The cute childhood couple ends up blowing up their adult lives because the connection they had decades ago is still so strong and it’s cute, it’s romantic, it’s a cliche story choice for a reason because it’s got a feel-good charm to it, but it’s also not realistic. Being willing to blow up your life to be with someone you knew as a kid is not something people really do that often, but it happens all the time in movies. You never see a story of people who used to have a relationship, reuniting and realising that things actually turned out kind of OK in the long run… at least, you didn’t until Celine Song came along and created a realistic and truly touching romantic drama called Past Lives

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May December (2024) – Once Upon A December

Released: 1st February
Seen: 13th February

In 1997, Mary Kay Letourneau pleaded guilty to 2 counts of second-degree rape of a child. The child in question was 12-year-old Vili Fualaau and what made this case turn into the stuff of tabloid legend was that not only would Mary Kay go on to give birth to Fualaau’s child while in prison (two of them throughout the relationship, but one specifically was born during her initial prison sentence) but they would eventually get married and remain married for 14 years, until 2019. The entire story was everything that the tabloids love, it had sex, intrigue, lying, and a hint of a taboo romance that created an epic drama that people could follow. Everyone who was around then heard at least one or two comics making jokes about how lucky Vili in particular was to be in a situation where an older woman had sex with him, it was the ultimate water cooler topic for ages… and in the center of it all were two people, one of whom was a victim who didn’t get his story told. Sadly, May December doesn’t tell his story as it probably could’ve, but using the Letourneau/Fualaau story as a springboard it weaves a darkly fascinating tale of its own.

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Nyad (2023) – Goes Swimmingly

Released: 3rd November 2023
Seen: 7th February 2024

In 2013 at the age of 63, Diana Nyad did something borderline impossible. She swam from the shores of Havana, Cuba to the beaches of Key West, Florida. The journey was 110 miles long and involved her staying in the water for 53 hours to complete it… it also took her 5 tries, four of those happening while she was in her 60s. Along with her team in a nearby boat and her coach Bonnie Stoll, Diana pulled off something truly staggering that’s only been accomplished by 2 other people before her (That we know of). Now sure, the Guinness World Record people and the World Open Water Swimming Association have not certified the swim (short version, they claim it counts as assisted because she wore a protective suit to avoid being stung by jellyfish and may have been touched every now and then by crew members who were trying to help her every now and then during the 2 and a half days she was swimming in the freezing ocean) but fortunately the biopic Nyad gives us a version of the story worth hearing.

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The Color Purple (2024) – Hell Yes

Released: 25th January
Seen: 1st February

In 1982, Alice Walker released her Pulitzer Prize winning novel The Color Purple which received rave reviews and massive sales. That book caught the eye of one Steven Spielberg who turned it into the beloved 1985 film that’s not only gone on to be a beloved cinematic classic but essentially jumpstarted the careers of Whoopi Goldberg and Oprah Winfrey, so it’s hard to deny its importance as a piece of cinema. Twenty years after the film was released, somebody got the bright idea to turn this dramatic tale into a musical where it would initially get poor reviews but, upon being revived in 2015, got the recognition it deserved as a truly great work. Now it can have that recognition forever since we have The Color Purple musical on film and it’s truly something worth singing some praises about.

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Maestro (2023) – Play Me Off

Released: 20th December 2023
Seen: 15th January 2024

With the Oscar nominations being announced just a few days ago, the time has come to tackle the annual tradition of playing catch-up on every nominated film that I somehow managed to miss throughout the year. Sometimes a film just isn’t released down here before the nominations (That’s happening with over a dozen films that I could see), sometimes a film is released but falls past the radar of must-see (how the hell was I meant to know that The Creator would be an Oscar nominee) and sometimes a film just seems like it’s going to be something I’m going to hate trying to review and because this is an unpaid hobby I avoid it until absolutely required… my dislike of biopics put Maestro firmly in that category and while I can admit it’s great, it’s still not my cup of tea.

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Poor Things (2024) – RICH!

Released: 18th January
Seen: 23rd January

Yorgos Lanthimos is one of those directors who you can guarantee will deliver a film that’s so different from everything else in the cinema that it’s hard to describe it as anything other than “A Yorgos Lanthimos Film”. Even when he does something close to a regular period piece like in his last film The Favourite there is something just beneath the surface that creates a strange experience. He’s one of those filmmakers that we’re lucky to have because he keeps things interesting and allows the audiences who see his work to experience something truly unique. Once again, with his latest film Poor Things, Yorgos has delivered something truly fascinating to behold.

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The Holdovers (2024) – Hold On

Released: 11th January
Seen: 17th January

Making an original Christmas film is an art that seems to be lost. Sure every year there’s the requisite retellings of A Christmas Carol that everyone tries to tell but an actual enjoyable film that captures a Christmas spirit is hard to come by. The last truly great one that I can think of might be Violent Night, which falls into that category of “What if we took something wholesome and made it say fuck while it bled out”, it’s just not easy to pull off but when you can make something that captures a very specific element of the Christmas season you get something kind of special, and The Holdovers definitely captures something kind of special.

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Lift (2024) – Drop It

Released: 12th January
Seen: 15th January

Lift Info

It’s become something of a joke lately that Netflix keeps producing so many films that they can’t even properly advertise them all, but it’s also probably for the best that they don’t because a lot of them are strangely forgettable garbage that’s just kind of created so that Netflix has a library of films that will never be taken away from them. What’s weird about this is that Netflix spends an absolutely jaw-dropping amount on films that, at best, will spend an eternity sitting in their digital library where they aren’t really designed to turn a profit. These are blockbusters that are made without the intention of getting blockbuster profits, a strange phenomenon that would maybe be OK if it led to fun enjoyable films… but it doesn’t, it leads to content like Lift

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