Run, Hide, Fight (2021) – Die Soft

Released: 5th May
Seen: 9th July

Run, Hide, Fight info

As a general rule I try my hardest not to let my personal politics impact my enjoyment of a film. I won’t pretend I don’t have intellectual differences with certain films ideas, I even spell them out in order to give context, but I can and have enjoyed movies with values I don’t agree with made by companies run by people who I don’t agree with… so, even though this movie was released in the US by Ben Shapiro’s website, The Daily Caller, a site I would consider a gateway drug to fascism and white supremacy, I promise you that connection had nothing to do with my enjoyment of the film… no, because in order to enjoy this film I would have to have little to no good taste even before I looked into its connections because it’s just so poorly made.

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Happily (2021) – Not Happy Jan!

Released: 2nd June
Seen: 4th July

Happily Info

One of the saddest things a film can do is to not seem to know what it should be, relegating the element of the movie that’s actually worth exploring to a single scene when it realistically should just be what the entire movie is. I’m sure we’ve all seen movies where it meanders for an hour and then gets to a single interesting scene that makes you go “Where has this been for the last hour? Why isn’t this the entire movie?”… and if you haven’t, watching Happily will give you that exact feeling.

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Vanquish Header

Vanquish (2021) – Destroy It!

Released: 2nd June
Seen: 2nd July

Vanquish Info

Normally when I review a film, I will try to avoid looking up other reviews or even look at the number on Rotten Tomatoes because I really don’t want to be influenced when writing my own piece. I would hate to steal a line by accident or have my views influenced by the group, I’d rather like an unpopular film than pretend to hate it just to fit in. So, when I was googling the movie Vanquish in order to have the IMDB page up so I could get the spelling of certain names correct and saw that it had a 5% on Rotten Tomatoes I was in shock because that’s worse than the score for Music, and Music is my current front runner for worst of the year. Surely this can’t be that bad, can it?

…it’s close.

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Nobody Promo Image

Nobody (2021) – Nobody’s Perfect

Released: 1st April
Seen: 29th June

Some films are really easy to talk about, they hand you a long list of positives and negatives that you can put into an order that gives a fair and balanced view of who might like it. Some films are so bad that it’s like a game of mad libs trying to come up with the most visceral description of disgust… rarely is there a film so good that I want to just make the entire review “IS GOOD GO SEE”, but Nobody is that rare film where I want to just not bother trying to be smart and just go with my base instinct of yelling “IS GOOD GO SEE”… but the internet seems to prefer it for the algorithm if a blog post is about 1000 words so here we go.

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The Hitman's Wife's Bodyguard Title Card

The Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard (2021) – It’s a little looney

Released: 24th June
Seen: 10th June (Advance Screening)

The Hitman's Wife's Bodyguard Info

4 years ago, The Hitman’s Bodyguard was released to theatres and it was a cartoon-scented blast of joy straight to the heart. A giddy concoction made up of equal parts explosions and the word “motherfucker” that gave the audience a mindless ride that went for a few hours with some of the most charismatic stars to be put on this planet. Naturally, a movie that’s going for something that broad made bank and so, with The Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard, we get a sequel that’s more of what we saw before and thank god for that because I need that familiar sense of normalcy.

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Cherry (2021) – Bowl of Pits

Released: 12th March
Seen: 9th June

Cherry Info

I’ll admit, I’ve been pretty neglectful when it comes to my Apple Plus subscription. I’ve had the service now for a while, never paid for it because it came free with my phone, and yet I’ve watched a grand total of about 6 things on it. A few episodes of Defending Jacob (never finished the series, I assume Jacob got defended), The Out on Television docuseries, Disclosure, Greyhound, Wolfwalkers and Palmer

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Army of the Dead (2021) – Deadly Fun

Released: 21st May
Seen: 23rd May

Army of the Dead Info

I’ve made it no secret that I have a bit of a problem with how Zack Snyder has handled his time as part of the DCEU… namely, I believe his drab and depressing interpretation of the iconic DC superheroes is partially why that franchise stalled so hard that it might as well just die so we can hard reset it in a few years and try again. I’m not a fan of most of his work… with one notable exception. I absolutely loved his interpretation of Dawn of the Dead.

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The Woman In The Window (2021) – Put This In My Rear Window

Released: 14th May
Seen: 20th May

The Woman In The Window Info

Sometimes a film comes out and you can just see its influences before the film even begins. The Woman in the Window as a film is clearly lifting a lot from films like Rear Window and Copycat, which are both fine films to take as influences so you would think that would hopefully lead to an interesting tense movie. Well, apparently this film’s other influence was an overturned trash can that racoons have picked through because this is actual garbage.

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Spiral: From The Book Of Saw (2021) – The Best Saw

Released: 13th May
Seen: 12th May (Advanced Screening)

The Saw franchise is, to put is mildly, polarising. Some people hate it and think it’s disgusting torture porn with little artistic merit, some think it’s a fun over the top slasher series that pushes boundaries, rewards longtime fans and occasionally has something important to say. I fall into the latter category, a fan and defender of this franchise.

Saw 6 would easily be my personal favourite, the one time in the franchise when they really tried to say something about the healthcare system in America. Sure, the series would eventually spiral out of control with the abysmal Saw 3D and the forgettable Jigsaw but really, every horror fan knows that slasher franchises are notoriously hard to kill… and thank god because Spiral might be the best Saw movie ever.

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