Thunder Force (2021) – Super Pooper

Released: 9th April
Seen: 29th April

The Superhero genre has been the biggest thing in movies for a little over the last decade, largely thanks to the Marvel Cinematic Universe that has somehow managed to go from strength to strength. When something is as culturally important as the Superhero genre has been for the last several years it stands to reason that someone would come along and satirize the tropes that by this point have become tiresome… or, if you’re something as unabashedly awful as Thunder Force, you could not make a single decent joke despite a decades worth of material you’ve been gifted and instead rely on the talents of two leads who aren’t miracle workers and can’t make you even remotely humorous. 

Yes, this is one of those angry reviews about a bad film, go get a soda because we will be here a while.

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Mortal Kombat Header

Mortal Kombat (2020) – Eh-Mortal

Released: 22nd April
Seen: 29th April

Mortal Kombat Info

In 1992, Mortal Kombat burst onto the world and forever changed the course of video game history. To say the game was controversial would be an understatement, it was THE game that every single parent hated with a passion. I vividly remember there was a Mortal Kombat arcade machine at my local fish and chips shop and my mother would never even let me look at the screen let alone play the thing (and now I’ve grown up and watch horror movies so violent they would turn stomachs, so clearly that wasn’t effective).

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Love and Monsters Promo Image

Love And Monsters (2021) – My Best Monster

Released: 14th April
Seen: 21st April

Love and Monsters Info

It has been said before that there is only a finite number of stories that people draw from, things like the monomyth or Boy Meets Girl are simple little stories that end up applying to thousands of movies and books. One story that keeps being reused and influencing others is A Boy and His Dog, the 1969 story that is the basis for a large amount of apocalyptic fiction. Even just knowing the basic storyline (a boy and his dog walking through a nuclear wasteland, the journey help the boy grow) you’ll see it in places like Mad Max, Fallout and the Oscar-Nominated Love and Monsters.

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News Of The World (2021) – Nobody Doesn’t Love Tom Hanks!

Released: 28th January
Seen: 12th April

News of the World Info

There are films that rely on a great script, films that rely on their visual prowess and then there are films that rely on the talents of a single actor. A star vehicle can come in many forms and many levels of quality, some of the biggest flops of all time have been films that leaned on the talent of a single actor… and then there are the films that rely on a single actor’s charm that actually end up working, such is the case with News Of The World.

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Godzilla vs Kong (2021) – Lots of Monkey Business

Released: 25th March
Seen: 6th April

Godzilla vs Kong Info

I believe it was the legendary French film analyst Dr Je Plaisante who said “Do you really need me to give you a fancy explanation to begin the review about Godzilla vs Kong, the film where a giant ape punches a giant lizard? Does Godzilla vs Kong look like a film that needs analysing? Do you get how silly it is to think Godzilla vs Kong is anything more than a joyous ode to destruction? I’m not even a real film analyst, my name is literally French for the phrase I’m Joking, that’s how pointless this entire review is!”… or something like that.

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Raya and the Last Dragon (2021) – Not a Drag-on

Released: 19th February
Seen: 17th March

Raya and the Last Dragon Info

Once again Disney has done a weir business thing that only Disney could probably get away with, time once again to deal with the issue of the Premier Access where Disney expects an extra 30 bucks on top of their current streaming price in order to vide a movie, in this case Raya and the Last Dragon. They did this recently with Mulan (interesting how it’s only been the films with mostly Asian casts that get this treatment, not sure what that says but it’s an interesting trend) and back then I couldn’t justify it… I also couldn’t really justify this, but it was also in a local cinema and I genuinely believe that’s the best way to properly enjoy the visual spectacle of Raya and the Last Dragon

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Justice League – The Snyder Cut (2021) – Here We Bloody Go Again

Released: 18th March
Seen: 18th March

Justice League Info

So it has come to this. On March 18th in 2021, as a result of years of campaigning under the hashtag “Release the Snyder Cut”, WB finally decided to release the Snyder Cut of the Justice League film. Now, here’s the funny thing about that, as a critic my opinion means precisely jack shit regarding this film.

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The Marksman (2021) – You’re Taken The Piss

Released: 21st January
Seen: 4th February

The Marksman Info

Can we, as a society, just admit that Liam Neeson action films have become repetitive and stale? Is that a thing that we can collectively do? Hell, let’s be honest, they were getting stale roughly around the third time he played a character who had a member of his family taken. It’s now to the point where you could write a Liam Neeson action film using a madlib form, they all have the same basic plot and only change the minor superficial details. It’s always the same and every time it gets a little bit less interesting and The Marksman is just another one for the pile.

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Hunted (2021) – Little Blood-Red Riding Hood

Released: 14th January
Seen: 19th January

If you were to make a list of locations that horror movies take place in, The Woods would probably be somewhere near the top of that list. Something about being in the great outdoors, surrounded by trees and being far away from modern civilisation lends itself well to a horror scenario. Films like Cabin in the Woods, Evil Dead and Friday the 13th have all shown that surrounding a bunch of young people by a seemingly endless amount of trees and leaving them to deal with some form of serial killer can create a terrifying ordeal… you can also have films like Hunted, that work on some level but not as many as it should.

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Outside the Wire (2021) – Wireless

Released: 15th January
Seen: 17th January

Outside the Wire Info

This year Netflix announced that it plans on releasing one brand new narrative film every single week, a proposal clearly borne out of a need to build up a catalogue of films that can’t be taken away when another movie studio decides to try and make its own streaming service. On the one hand, this is a smart idea, with enough of a catalogue of its own Netflix can justify continuing as a service even if every studio pulls their film.

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