Cruella (2021) – Cruella De Link

Like a lot of people, I had thoughts about the Cruella movie so I put those thoughts in a review that I posted over on Soda & Telepaths

Dream Horse

Willy’s Wonderland (2021) – Five Hours At Willy’s

Released: 21st April
Seen: 31st May

Willy's Wonderland Info

It’s fairly well known that right now a Five Nights At Freddy’s movie is sitting in development hell where it’s lingered for the last 5 years. In that time it’s changed studios and directors and gone through many, many scripts. Currently they are talking about shooting this thing sometime this year, but we’ve heard that song and dance before. The wait has gotten so long for this movie that we’ve already had one knockoff beat it to release, in the form of The Banana Splits Movie. Well, now Willy’s Wonderland is here to show you another version of the Five Nights formula… and this time, I think they got the tone right.

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Why Did You Kill Me? (2021) – Seemed Like A Good Idea

Released: 14th April
Seen: 31st May

Why Did You Kill Me? Info

The crime documentary is definitely having a major resurgence right now, in no small part thanks to Netflix who seems to churn out a new one every other week. This kind of makes sense for a streaming platform desperate for unique content because in theory these are simple things to make. Find a weird murder with a lot of twists and turns, have relatives and police officers describe the events as they remember it, maybe hire some actors to recreate certain elements, wait for the editor to put it all together and you have a movie. What sets them apart is how weird/interesting/disturbing the crime is and the general presentation of the information. So, with a film titled “Why Did You Kill Me?” basically begging for attention, does it deserve it?

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Army of the Dead (2021) – Deadly Fun

Released: 21st May
Seen: 23rd May

Army of the Dead Info

I’ve made it no secret that I have a bit of a problem with how Zack Snyder has handled his time as part of the DCEU… namely, I believe his drab and depressing interpretation of the iconic DC superheroes is partially why that franchise stalled so hard that it might as well just die so we can hard reset it in a few years and try again. I’m not a fan of most of his work… with one notable exception. I absolutely loved his interpretation of Dawn of the Dead.

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A Quiet Place Part 2 (2021) – Sounds Like Fun

Released: 27th May
Seen: 21th May (Advance Screening)

A Quiet Place Part 2 Info

In 2018 the film A Quiet Place came out and was an instant hit, along with just generally being one of the best films of the year. A tense instant horror classic that was nothing short of miraculous in how cleverly it played with the audience, turning every sound into the most terrifying thing imaginable. It was a film that taught me how to eat popcorn by slowly dissolving it between my tongue and the roof of my mouth for fear I would make a sound so when I heard there was a sequel coming out, imaginatively titled A Quiet Place Part 2, on March 20 of 2020 (a day after my birthday) you wouldn’t find anyone more excited than me.

…and then the world decided to end and this film got pushed back by well over a year. Was the wait worth it? Hell yes it was!

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The Woman In The Window (2021) – Put This In My Rear Window

Released: 14th May
Seen: 20th May

The Woman In The Window Info

Sometimes a film comes out and you can just see its influences before the film even begins. The Woman in the Window as a film is clearly lifting a lot from films like Rear Window and Copycat, which are both fine films to take as influences so you would think that would hopefully lead to an interesting tense movie. Well, apparently this film’s other influence was an overturned trash can that racoons have picked through because this is actual garbage.

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Songbird (2021) – Novid-19

Released: 20th May
Seen: 20th May

Songbird Info

When a disaster happens, it’s only natural for it to somehow end up being a part of people’s art. People process things in different ways and that includes filmmakers. With this deadly pandemic spreading worldwide it’s only natural that people would work it into the art they were making. TV shows like 9-1-1 have been working covid into the background of their stories, movies like Host have used the lockdown as an element of the story. Key word in that sentence is “ELEMENT”, what would happen if someone made an entire film that was just “What if the current pandemic… but worse?”… that person would be making Songbird and I would not like them very much.

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Stay Out Of The F**king Attic (2021) – Subtle… too subtle

Released: 11th March
Seen: 10th May

Stay Out Of The F**king Attic Info

When picking what I want to review I have several ways of choosing. Sometimes it’s just “Oh, this is new, looks like that’s what we’re doing” but by roughly this point in the year there’s a long backlog of films that I missed because they release hundreds of films a year, I’m one person and I have other things to do. Sometimes I pick based on the film length, I might have enough time to watch and review a 90 minute film but don’t think I could sit through a 2 and a half hour film in whatever state I’m in… and then sometimes I see a film with a title like Stay Out Of The F**king Attic and the sheer abruptness of the title makes me curious.

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