The Ones You Didn’t Burn (2022) – Flaming Outdoors

Over on Soda & Telepaths, it’s the second entry in the Night Of Horror series of reviews and this time it’s slow burn The Ones You Didn’t Burn… kind of ironic that a movie called The Ones You Didn’t Burn would end up being a slow burn but hey, that’s what happened

The Goldsmith (2022) – Eye Catching

So, over on Soda and Telepaths I’m reviewing entries for the upcoming film festival A Night Of Horror and will be slowly going through them before the actual festival happens. So feel free to go read my first one for the foreign film entry The Goldsmith and, if you’re in Sydney, maybe also get tickets to the festival because there’s nothing quite like a good film festival.

Pussy Cake (2022) – Goopy Goodness

Seen at the Sydney Underground Film Festival

Pussy Cake Info

In Argentina, the title of this film is Emesis. Emesis, for those who aren’t wanting to google or don’t know this off the top of your head, is another word for vomiting. This title genuinely suits the film as there is a considerable amount of vomiting going on. It also brings up images of sickness, perfect for a movie about a mysterious otherworldly plague. Emesis is the kind of odd but intelligent title that could really work well when placed alongside a disturbing film like this… or we could just rename it Pussy Cake for the English-speaking audiences because Pussy Cake is a goddamn amazing title that might not mean a damn thing but it’s fun to say.

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Swallowed (2022) – Slimy Yet Satisfying

Seen at the Sydney Underground Film Festival

Swallowed Info

When it comes to queer representation in cinema, we’ve come pretty far in recent years by having some pretty mainstream movies throw in some form of representation. Sure it’s been minimal, like the 3-second lesbian kiss in Lightyear that sent everyone insane for a month or when a rock monster was revealed to have two dads but still, it happened. It’s fun to see gay characters popping up and more queer storylines in general… even when they turn up in dark horror/thrillers about drug trafficking, still fun to see.

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Cult Hero (2022) – Worshippable

Seen at the Sydney Underground Film Festival

Cult Hero Info

The world of religion is a wild place even at the best of times, but when religion is at its worst you get a cult. Cults come in all shapes and sizes, from small things like Heaven’s Gate to seemingly large abusive groups like Scientology and they all just pull people into their web and ruin their lives in some way. Sometimes when someone is in a cult you might need to hire someone known as a deprogrammer who will do what they can to pull your loved one out of this toxic environment… and naturally a situation that’s this intense and fraught with danger is just perfect to be the foundation for a comedic action film.

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Pig Killer (2022) – Slop

Seen at the Sydney Underground Film Festival

In 2002, Robert “Willy” Pickton was arrested on suspicion of two counts of first-degree murder. By the time his trial began in 2006, the number of charges had gone up to 27 and by the time he was convicted, Robert Pickton would confess to the murders of 49 women and said he would’ve made it to 50 if he hadn’t gotten sloppy. His murder spree is absolutely horrific, he’s one of the worst serial killers in Canadian history so it’s kinda only natural that someone was going to inevitably use this horrific story to make some form of horror film… did the film have to be this terribly tasteless? Well, yes because the actual case is pretty damn tasteless too but it doesn’t help that the film isn’t great.

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Bodies Bodies Bodies (2022) – Dead Funny

Seen at the Sydney Underground Film Festival

Bodies Bodies Bodies Info

Every now and then, a horror film will come along and decide to basically just roast the current generation and all their eccentricities. Usually, it’ll do this by having a bunch of characters that are stereotypes from that specific era and then pick them off one by one, it’s effective and it works pretty well. The 90s were perfect for this, notably with films like Scream and Urban Legends that filled their films with irony poisoned teens and made fun of them while also giving us a high body count. It was only a matter of time before the current generation was going to get their own pointed ribbing by the horror genre and finally, Bodies Bodies Bodies delivers the ribbing that is well deserved with a side serving of… well, bodies.

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Nope (2022) – Maybe

Released: 11th August
Seen: 14th August

Nope Info

In 2017 Jordan Peele staked his claim as a modern horror master with his directorial debut Get Out. To this day that film is one of the best films that this reviewer has had the pleasure of watching. It was terrifying and had something important to say and did it flawlessly. It’s a go-to example of a perfect film and very little has beaten it. It’s the kind of film that makes you excited to see what a director does next, and sure enough, when Peele dropped Us onto an unsuspecting public it was proof that he had something special. 

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Prey (2022) – Out Of This World Amazing

Released: 5th August
Seen: 7th August

In 2018, the film The Predator was released to cinemas. It was the 4th entry in the badly named franchise (previous entries being Predator, Predator 2 and Predators… so not confusing in the slightest) and it was probably the worst of the bunch. It almost felt like it was going to put the final nail in the coffin for this franchise which has been kind of coasting on fond memories of the 1987 original. So when there was news of another entry coming out that would take the actually unique film title Prey, it’s fair to say that there was some trepidation about how good the film would be… turns out it might be the best in the whole damn franchise.

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