Rough Night

Seen 30th June


Picture it, Sicily 1998. A little film called Very Bad Things was released. In it, a prostitute is accidentally killed during a bachelor party and everyone loses their minds. This film asks the question “So what if we did almost exactly that, but changed all the genders”. Turns out, you get… well… meh.

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The Mummy

Seen June 26th


In 1932, Boris Karloff brought us “The Mummy”, one of the classic Universal movie monsters that reigned for a large part of the early period of cinema between the 20’s and the 50’s

In 1999, Brendan Fraser appeared in “The Mummy”, one of the most enjoyable films of the 90’s and one of the few remakes that is at least as enjoyable at the original.

Then in 2017 Tom Cruise appeared in “The Mummy”… it was a movie.

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Wonder Woman

Seen June 15th


For as long as I can remember, there have been talks about a Wonder Woman movie. There were talks of TV series pilots, including the infamous NBC pilot that basically turned Wonder Woman into a sociopath who didn’t care about anyone or anything other than the size of the tits on her action figure (And god do I wish I was kidding about that). At one point Joss Whedon was going to handle the movie but that didn’t pan out. Basically for pretty much my entire life there was only one live action Wonder Woman who went by the name of Lynda Carter, as far as I’m aware she is the only person to play the part on film… until Gal Gadot came around, and thank Zeus that she turned up when she did.

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Seen May 28th


Adapting TV shows into feature length films is not easy. Simpsons, 21 Jump Street, Barney’s Great Adventure, many shows have made the leap from the small to the big screen with varying degree’s of success. They often take one of 3 options when it comes to storytelling

1) 3 Episodes of the TV show sewn together ass-to-mouth
2) A super long episode of the TV series
3) An actual movie that doesn’t rely on you knowing the source material in order to enjoy it

Baywatch picked option 3 and… well… it doesn’t outright suck.

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Alien: Covenant

Seen May 12th


In space, no one can hear you scream. It’s probably one of the most iconic taglines in cinema history from one of the most iconic movie’s of all time. It’s sequel was just as iconic, some would dare to say it’s better than the original. It was followed by a few more sequels, then a couple of team ups, and then a weird semi-prequel called Prometheus… each of these films are not exactly remembered fondly. This is a standard problem in the horror genre, the first few movies are good but after a while the series gets bad. Alien: Convenant is one of those rarities… a sequel that’s about 6 films deep into a series that doesn’t suck!

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Beauty & The Beast

Seen May 7th


In 1991 Disney released Beauty and the Beast, a film that practically saved the studio and pushed it into the renaissance period of the studio. That period was hinted at with Little Mermaid but it’s Beauty and the Beast that reminded everyone that Disney still had it, soon followed by Aladdin and Lion King, it was a period in time when Disney was on top again and holds the distinction of being the first animated film to be nominated for Best Picture. It’s a goddamn iconic movie… so why the actual hell would anyone remake it?

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