Saw X (2023) – Bloody Brilliant

IMPORTANT NOTE: This piece was written during the 2023 SAG-AFTRA strike. Without the labor of the actors currently on strike, the movies being covered here wouldn’t exist.

Released: 28th September
Seen: 28th September

Saw X Info

By the time a horror franchise hits the 10th film, it’s safe to say that things will be well off course. By the time Friday the 13th was 10 films deep, they sent Jason into space. By the time Halloween was 10 films deep, it was finishing up its first set of remakes. By the time Nightmare on Elm Street was 10 films deep… actually we don’t know because Nightmare never made it to 10 films, that’s how rare it is to make that many films in a horror franchise. So you can imagine the general nervous anticipation that was building up with the announcement of Saw X, a return to the original timeline of the franchise after the mild detours of Jigsaw and Spiral, which could’ve failed spectacularly but somehow it ended up being one of the best of the franchise.

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Gale: Stay Away From Oz (2023) – Short of Oz

IMPORTANT NOTE: This piece was written during the 2023 WGA and SAG-AFTRA strikes. Without the labor of the writers and actors currently on strike, the movies being covered here wouldn’t exist.

Copy provided for review

Gale Info

Taking a classic story and turning it into a horror film is a trend that can go well or go horrifically. We’ve seen the recent burst of these with things like Winnie The Pooh entering the public domain and turning into a horror film that somehow forgot to enjoy the innate silliness of the idea. However, some properties offer a more organic way into the genre and arguably one such property would be The Wizard of Oz which is a franchise that might be mostly family-friendly but still can terrify when needed. Hell, The Wicked Witch of the West is the first truly scary character that most people see in their lives, she’s a truly terrifying creation that can make even full-grown adults recoil in fear. So, there is a little bit of a chance that something like Gale: Stay Away From Oz might actually work and I believe it really could… when it’s done.

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Pet Sematary: Bloodlines (2023) – Sometimes, Dead Is… OK?

Copy provided by Paramount for review

Pet Sematary: Bloodlines Info

In 1983 Stephen King wrote the book Pet Sematary which is still considered one of his more iconic works, which is saying a lot considering how prolific Stephen is. It, like a lot of King’s work, was naturally adapted into a movie in 1989 and like a lot of 80’s horror movies, it got remade in the late 2010s, 2019 to be specific. The 2019 Pet Sematary didn’t get great reviews (though I personally quite enjoyed it) but what it did get was a serious return on investment with over 100 million from a film made on a 20 million budget. Normally this would mean a sequel was basically guaranteed but Pet Sematary is the kind of story that doesn’t lend itself to a follow-up… apparently it does have a prequel in it though, which kind of works up to a certain point.

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A Haunting In Venice (2023) – I Moustache A Question

IMPORTANT NOTE: This piece was written during the 2023 WGA and SAG-AFTRA strikes. Without the labor of the writers and actors currently on strike, the movies being covered here wouldn’t exist.

Released: 14th September
Seen: 20th September

Six years ago Kenneth Branaugh released Murder On The Orient Express, a surprise blockbuster murder mystery that showed there was still a lot of love for the classic murder mystery genre. Hell, it’s probably fair to say that without the success of Murder On The Orient Express we wouldn’t have seen Knives Out a few years later, Of course, because Murder On The Orient Express was such a huge hit, and there are over 40 assorted Hercule Poirot novels that could be adapted, naturally that meant a sequel which is why we got Death On The Nile last year. That film was not one that ended up being reviewed over here because of the Armie Hammer allegations which made the prospect of seeing it just a little bit depressing, and now definitely won’t be seeing it thanks to the Russell Brand allegations. Fortunately, Death On The Nile does not appear to be required viewing in order to follow A Haunting In Venice, if you even want to try and follow it.

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Haunted Mansion (2023) – Rich

IMPORTANT NOTE: This piece was written during the 2023 WGA and SAG-AFTRA strikes. Without the labor of the writers and actors currently on strike, the movies being covered here wouldn’t exist.

Released: 31st August
Seen: 21st September

Haunted Mansion Info

The Haunted Mansion is probably one of the most famous theme park attractions of all time. It’s so well known that even people who have never actually visited the park it’s built in at least know a few of its iconic visuals, like the ballroom full of ghosts or the elongating rooms. It’s such an iconic ride that it was inevitable that it’d inspire a movie and in 2003 it ended up doing so with The Haunted Mansion, a film that was certainly financially successful but was critically panned and not looked back on fondly by most (though it does have a cult following). The property would remain untouched in cinematic form for years until 2021 when the Muppets took a crack at it and, while their version only lasted a little under an hour, it was still well received by a lot of people and maybe gave Disney confidence they needed to really believe in another cinematic version of Haunted Mansion… and it’s a good thing they did because the new version is surprisingly good.

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Elevator Game (2023) – Going Down!

IMPORTANT NOTE: This piece was written during the 2023 WGA and SAG-AFTRA strikes. Without the labor of the writers and actors currently on strike, the movies being covered here wouldn’t exist.

Released: 15th September
Seen: 20th September

One of the most strangely fascinating subgenres of horror is one where a weird thing on the internet turns out to not only be real but deadly. Films like Slender Man, Grimcutty and Countdown all took modern technology and twisted it to become something strange and deadly, a kind of modern-day campfire story that takes a technology we’ve all become used to and turns it into something truly terrifying… or at least, that’s what it’s supposed to do. You might notice the trio of examples mentioned earlier are some of the worst horror films released in the last five years and sadly, Elevator Game joins them in that group of horror movies that takes a potentially interesting modern story and just does nothing with it.

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Blue Beetle (2023) – Delightful

IMPORTANT NOTE: This piece was written during the 2023 WGA and SAG-AFTRA strikes. Without the labor of the writers and actors currently on strike, the movies being covered here wouldn’t exist.

Released: 14th September
Seen: 19th September

Blue Beetle Info

The DCEU is dead, to begin with. There is no doubt whatever about that. The register of its burial was signed by the clergyman, the clerk, the undertaker, and the chief mourners who continually scream for the Snyderverse to be revived. It is dead and will have its final death rattle later in the year when Aquaman 2 comes out before all the toys are thrown out and we restart this experiment again with a brand new man in charge of everything. Perhaps that well-known death of the franchise explains why Blue Beetle will soon be limping past the finish line just barely making its production budget back… which is a massive shame because Blue Beetle is absolutely awesome from start to finish.

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Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem (2023) – COWABUNGA!

IMPORTANT NOTE: This piece was written during the 2023 WGA and SAG-AFTRA strikes. Without the labor of the writers and actors currently on strike, the movies being covered here wouldn’t exist.

Released: 7th September
Seen: 13th September

By now the story of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and their creation is well known. From its start as an underground comic designed to parody superheroes to the legendary cartoon series that gave us the theme song that you are inevitably humming right now to the first movie that not only was a defining action film for a lot of childhoods but allowed New Line Cinema to go from a little independent company to one that was big enough that it could eventually make the Lord of the Rings movies. It’s an absolute phenomenon of a franchise that’s had several iterations over the years with various visual styles and tones that range from the dark and serious to the light and comedic. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem leans more towards light and comedic but also might be the best take on the franchise since the 1990 film.

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