Moonfall (2022) – Eclipsed

Released: 3rd February
Seen: 19th May

Moonfall Info

Back in the late 90s, one of the biggest names in Blockbusters was Roland Emmerich. The man made Independence Day, a film that not only showed that there was a new master of the blockbuster but also made so much goddamn money. Independence Day was the highest-grossing film of 1996, its visuals are some of the most remembered images from 90s cinema (the shot of a single beam of light destroying the White House alone is etched into the memory of everyone who was around in 1996) and it basically elevated Will Smith into a global cinematic phenomenon… yeah, Roland Emmerich kinda fluked it with that film because he’s really never been that good since, and Moonfall is just proof that he needs a new schtick.

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Marmaduke (2022) – Animated Dog Vomit

Released: 11th May
Seen: 13th May

Marmaduke Info

In June of 1954, the first Marmaduke comic strip was printed in the newspaper. The entire idea of the series revolved around the Winslow family and their Great Dane who was certainly larger than a normal Great Dane but he wasn’t stupidly big. While the comics were popular, having remained in print now for well over 60 years, they’re noted as being kind of dry and simplistic and like a lot of single-strip Sunday comic books, they’re designed to work for one quick joke and not much longer.

Due to this limitation of how the character was intended to be used, Marmaduke probably wouldn’t work for a 90-minute long film and indeed he didn’t, they tried it back in 2010 and it failed spectacularly. Well, the director of this 2022 animated adaptation of Marmaduke clearly wanted to make a worse film and by god, they succeeded.

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The Northman (2022) – For The North!

Released: 21st April
Seen: 26th April

The Northman  Info

Robert Eggers is quickly turning into one of the most fascinating directors in modern cinema. His directorial debut, The Witch, set the horror world alight and introduced us to Anya Taylor-Joy who is becoming one of the most sought after actors in Hollywood. It was the kind of first film that you could only dream of making, garnering critical and financial praise while establishing Eggers as the kind of artist who was able to make an intense period horror that people couldn’t get enough of… something he would prove again with The Lighthouse, a gloriously bonkers piece that proved that Eggers had some wild ideas that he wanted to test out. His first two films proved what Eggers could do on a small scale. The Northman shows what Eggers can do when he’s tasked with an epic and god damn it, it turns out he can do magic.

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FANTASIA 2021 Film Festival Review: Strawberry Mansion (2021)

NOTE: Here is my review from Soda & Telepaths that was posted back on August 12, 2021

Strawberry Mansion takes place in a world where the content of people’s dreams is subject to taxation. James Preble (Kentucker Audley) is an auditor whose job is to go through those dreams and figure out how much tax people owe for the strange things that they dream about.

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Everything Everywhere All At Once (2022) – Absolute Perfection

Released: 14th April
Seen: 6th April (Advance Screening)

Everything Everywhere All At Once Info

The concept of the multiverse has been a pretty major part of the cinematic landscape recently, largely thanks to the MCU using it as part of their recent romp through nostalgia. It featured heavily in the still stunning Spider-Man: No Way Home and will be brought up again in the Dr Strange sequel that also uses the word as part of its title, Multiverse of Madness.

It’s a fascinating concept that can have so many uses but if we’re being honest, the MCU is using the multiverse mostly for nostalgia blasts. That’s the multiverse on easy mode… Everything Everywhere All At Once is the multiverse on hard mode and its chock full of glorious batshit insanity combined with absolute pure wonder and I love every single second of it.

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The Adam Project (2022) – TIME TRAVEL!

Released: 11th March
Seen: 29th March

The Adam Project Info

You know what I kinda miss? Those old cheesy family films that weren’t trying to be cinematic masterpieces but were basically pastiches of popular films that had kids doing cool stuff and a lot of stupid moments, the last one of those that got a wide release was The Kid Who Would Be King, a fun, frivolous little film about a kid who got King Arthur’s sword and had a big silly adventure. It was nice to see this kind of film get a brief comeback but ever since then it’s felt like no one has bothered to try again… until The Adam Project came along and hit me right in the nostalgia.

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Uncharted (2022) – Fairly Charted Territory

Released: 17th February
Seen: 27th March

In 2007 the first game in the Uncharted series hit shelves and it was nothing short of a smash hit, selling over a million copies in the first ten weeks and becoming one of the biggest-selling games for the PlayStation. Its success was so huge that there were plans for a movie being made way back in 2008 and for the 14 years since then, the franchise has bounced around with different writers, directors and stars. Just reading over the history of Uncharted it’s kind of incredible that it even got out of the development hell that it languished in for so long but now it’s here and… it’s fine. Nothing to write home about but it’s not awful.

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Cruella (2021) – Dark Twisted Disney Fun

NOTE: Here is my review from Soda & Telepaths that was posted back on June 8, 2021

Cruella De Vil, one of the most wicked villains of the entire Disney catalog, started her life as a young woman named Estella. Estella was a troubled child, getting into fights at her boarding school and in general making life hard for herself and her mother. Indeed, this side of her personality was so cruel that she would come to name that mood “Cruella”.

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Turning Red (2022) – It’s Pan-tastic

Released: 11th March
Seen: 13th March

turning red info

Writing about a Pixar film feels a little bit like writing about a Marvel film at this point, the odds are good that it’s going to be somewhere around the great range and the compliments that you can throw its way all feel very similar because they’ve managed to hone in on a formula that works so well that it’s hard to pick holes in it. Turning Red is one of those films that really shows Pixar at its best in terms of how it tells these stories and while a lot of it would fit into what a regular high-quality Pixar film normally shows, there are a few elements to this that elevate it into something genuinely special… plus, it has a lot of adorable giant red pandas which means it’s the best movie to come out in a long time because how can you deny the cuteness of giant red pandas? 

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