Velvet Buzzsaw (2019) – Did Somebody Mention Art?

Released: 1st February
Seen: 1st February

Velvet Chainsaw Info.png

 

According to Urban Dictionary, the term “Velvet Buzzsaw” is a term with two possible meanings. The first one is a slang term for vagina (Which the dictionary itself uses in the sentence “As the conversation became sexually charged, she could feel her Velvet Buzzsaw begin to hum”). The second being an extreme oral sex technique where the male essentially motorboats the aforementioned vagina, meaning it’s theoretically possible to Velvet Chainsaw a Velvet Chainsaw. Interestingly, both these meanings of the term predate the conception of this movie by decades and neither one really has anything to do with the actual content of the film. It’s a vulgar title that elicits an image that the film itself chooses not to use; it merely refers to it when one female character explains that she used to take that on as a name in a moment that implies it reflects on her past. It’s a nickname that links her to female art groups like Pussy Riot, an artist group that intentionally chose a name that suggests sexuality in order to gain attention so that their message can be heard.  Now, I bring all this up to show you the disconnect between this film and the very idea it’s trying to explore… that art critique done for the purposes of profit is a crime worthy of the death of the critic and all those who might profit from their work. This idea makes this a fun film to try and talk about, but let’s see what happens.

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IO (2019) – Zzz

Released: 18th January
Seen: 22nd January

IO Info.png

 

There is nothing on this earth that is quite as boring as spending time watching paint dry. The very concept is used as a mocking description of boredom, an understandable comparison since the idea of enduring the sight of a wall covered in a beige coloured liquid comprised of pigment, binder and solvent until that liquid becomes a solid is an interminably long one as paint can take a very large amount of time to lose its liquid quality. This concept is a cousin to a similar explanation of boredom that we call “Watching Grass Grow”, both ideas suggesting just staring at something that does something so slowly that it’s almost impossible for the naked eye to witness it happening. I would like to also include the phrase “Watching the movie IO” as a new descriptive term for boredom.

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Fyre (2019) – I’ll Take You To Burn

Released: 18th January
Seen: 21st January

Fyre Festival.png

In April of 2017, the music festival to end all music festivals was scheduled to happen in the Bahamas. Organised by rapper Ja Rule and “Entrepreneur” Billy McFarland. The festival was a social media phenomenon from the second it was announced. Instagram Influencers and models were promoting it, tickets sold from anywhere between $500 to $12000, it was meant to have huge names like Blink 182 and Little Yachty and go for several days. It was meant to be the greatest music event that has ever been put together… and then the event happened and the only thing great about it was that it was such a great failure that it will go down in history as one of the worst events to ever be put together. It would end with thousands of people not getting money that was owed to them, personal property damage caused by the weather and one of the organisers going to prison for 6 years. Naturally, this was the kind of story that was going to be turned into a documentary, or two. I sadly can only talk about the Netflix one because Hulu doesn’t offer their product to Australians so I can’t compare these two documentaries, although if I’m ever able to do that I will do it later on. For now, let’s talk about the Netflix Documentary.

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