Senior Year Promo Image

Senior Year (2022) – Failed

Released: 13th May
Seen: 15th May

Senior Year Info

For some reason, there seems to be a strange genre of film where an adult finds some weird reason to go back to high school in order to have shenanigans happen. This can be some weird undercover cop story like a 21 Jump Street scenario or it might just be some rich idiot buying his way back into a school scenario of some kind. Often the reasons are stupid and don’t hold up to any scrutiny but often lead to relatively fun situations… Senior Year has one of the stupidest reasons to have an adult go back to high school that we’ve seen in a while and it’s accompanied by some of the least interesting shenanigans one could imagine.

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Marmaduke (2022) – Animated Dog Vomit

Released: 11th May
Seen: 13th May

Marmaduke Info

In June of 1954, the first Marmaduke comic strip was printed in the newspaper. The entire idea of the series revolved around the Winslow family and their Great Dane who was certainly larger than a normal Great Dane but he wasn’t stupidly big. While the comics were popular, having remained in print now for well over 60 years, they’re noted as being kind of dry and simplistic and like a lot of single-strip Sunday comic books, they’re designed to work for one quick joke and not much longer.

Due to this limitation of how the character was intended to be used, Marmaduke probably wouldn’t work for a 90-minute long film and indeed he didn’t, they tried it back in 2010 and it failed spectacularly. Well, the director of this 2022 animated adaptation of Marmaduke clearly wanted to make a worse film and by god, they succeeded.

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Our Father (2022) – Terrifyingly Real

Released: 11th May
Seen: 13th May

Our Father Info

Donald Cline, the villain that the entire Our Father documentary revolves around, is one of the vilest human beings to walk this earth and that is not a statement made lightly. Specialising in infertility treatments, Donald Cline worked on multiple women who came to him either to have help with a fertility issue involving their husband or who were going to use a sample from a sperm bank… and for many of those (we have no idea how many) Donald Cline would use his own personal semen sample to impregnate these women and he would’ve gotten away with it too if it wasn’t for his own meddling kids getting a 23 and Me test.

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Downfall: The Case Against Boeing (2022) – Plane and Simple

Released: 18th February
Seen: 11th May

Downfall: The Case Against Boeing

Downfall: The Case Against Boeing begins on 29 October 2018 when Lion Air Flight 610 took off from the Soekarno–Hatta International Airport heading for Depati Amir Airport, both of which are in Indonesia. The plane, a Boeing 737 Max 8, left the ground at 6:20 am with 181 passengers and 8 crew members on board.

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White Hot Promo Image

White Hot: The Rise And Fall of Abercrombie & Fitch (2022) – Luke Warm

Released: 19th April
Seen: 1st May

White Hot Info

When you think of the brand name Abercrombie & Fitch, chances are good that the image that comes to your mind is that of an attractive muscular white college guy in low rise jeans. Originally a brand that was associated with hunters, rugged men and Teddy Roosevelt, Abercrombie & Fitch would pivot hard into this image of the cool college frat guy in a way that defined a generation… but of course, as one might expect, when you build your brand on an image of attractive muscular white college guys that tends to mean that there is some shady shit going on and White Hot: The Rise And Fall of Abercrombie & Fitch is here to point out just some of the things that were going on.

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365 Days: This Day (2022) – It Still Hurts

Released: 27th April
Seen: 28th April

The year was 2020, we were deep into the horrors of the pandemic and thus desperate for things to keep us entertained since everything was shutting down, which is how a film like 365 Days was able to get dropped on Netflix and become a massive hit on the service… now, granted, everyone could readily admit that the film was a giant piece of shit and was openly mocking how awful it was every chance possible but that didn’t change the fact that it was a monster hit.

It was critically savaged and called out for being a romanticisation of rape that was a poorly filmed/acted/written/scored piece of garbage… and that’s just from my own personal description of it when I gave it the top spot on my worst of 2020 list. 

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Choose or Die (2022) – …Or?

Released: 15th April
Seen: 17th April

In 2018 the film Truth or Dare was released to what could charitably be called ‘mixed’ reviews. It was a film with a fun concept that held back so much that it ended up just becoming one of the blandest horror movies in recent memory. The failure of Truth or Dare is such a shame because a horror film where people have to deal with hard choices that could lead to strange supernatural death is one that has the potential to be a lot of fun, it’s the kind of schlocky idea that this genre thrives on and in the right hands it could lead to something enjoyable.

Apparently, the right hands are not the hands that assembled Choose or Die because they made a movie with that core concept that’s so convoluted it’s hard to enjoy, even though they really go through on the visceral aspect of the genre.

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The Bubble (2022) – Confined

Released: 1st April
Seen: 5th April

The Bubble Info

Looking back on the last two years of the pandemic and how it’s impacted the movie industry, it’s legitimately stunning that we didn’t see more closures of cinemas and studios. The number of films that were even able to shoot during the pandemic was dramatically lower than usual and a lot of films seemed to think they needed to be about the pandemic and so many of them were bad.

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Trust No One: The Hunt For The Crypto King (2022) – Trustworthy

Released: 30th March
Seen: 2nd April

Trust No One
o O

The world of Cryptocurrency is strange, to say the least. The well-known internet currency has fiercely loyal believers and just as fierce sceptics who believe the entire concept is basically one of the strangest scams that have somehow gotten to be accepted by a surprisingly large part of the community.

If you mention “I think Bitcoin is a load of shit” on Twitter and watch as your mentions are filled with bros exclaiming how you don’t actually understand it and how it’s not that bad, it’s not that scammy… well, now you can send those mouthbreathers a link to the film Trust No One: The Hunt For The Crypto King and watch as they… OK, they probably won’t accept they’re part of a scam, but you’ll know and that’s what matters.

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The Adam Project (2022) – TIME TRAVEL!

Released: 11th March
Seen: 29th March

The Adam Project Info

You know what I kinda miss? Those old cheesy family films that weren’t trying to be cinematic masterpieces but were basically pastiches of popular films that had kids doing cool stuff and a lot of stupid moments, the last one of those that got a wide release was The Kid Who Would Be King, a fun, frivolous little film about a kid who got King Arthur’s sword and had a big silly adventure. It was nice to see this kind of film get a brief comeback but ever since then it’s felt like no one has bothered to try again… until The Adam Project came along and hit me right in the nostalgia.

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