Fast X (2023) – Slow Down!

Released: 17th May
Seen: 20th May

Fast X Info

The Fast and the Furious franchise has developed something of a reputation over the years. At first, that reputation was that these were the films to see cool car tricks and hot women in skimpy outfits, maybe with a little bit of a heist thrown in for dramatic tension. Now the Fast and Furious movies are where you go to see physics be violently pegged by a souped-up automobile powered by the laws of “Fuck you, this looks cool”. It’s somewhat of a dramatic shift over the years but it’s honestly been for the best, the franchise was kind of dull and boring in the beginning and now it’s almost impossible not to salivate in anticipation for what insanely stupid thing is going to be done next behind the wheel of a car.

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Glorious (2022) Is Quite Alright!

Originally posted on Soda & Telepaths September 3rd 2022

Glorious Plot

Wes (Ryan Kwanten) is having a bad day, to say the least. He’s just broken up with his girlfriend, Brenda (Sylvia Grace Crim) and in his frustration, he’s gone on a long drive and gotten unreasonably drunk at a rest stop that’s out in the middle of nowhere. After spending a few hours at the rest stop getting wasted, Wes needs to use the bathroom in the rest stop and so he gets into the only unoccupied stall.

After a while he begins talking to the mysterious person in the locked stall beside him, only to discover that the stall doesn’t have a person in it but a cosmic demigod known as Ghatanothoa (J.K. Simmons) who has brought Wes to this rest stop in order to ask for a favour, and to torment him with occasional visions of his past. 

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Doctor Strange and the Multiverse of Madness (2022) – We’re all Mad here

Originally posted on Soda & Telepaths May 17th 2022

Doctor Strange and the Multiverse of Madness Plot

Doctor Strange and the Multiverse of Madness picks up not too long after the events of Spider-Man: No Way Home. with Doctor Strange (Benedict Cumberbatch) trying to return to some kind of normalcy which means he has to do something he’d been dreading… attend the wedding of Christine Palmer (Rachel McAdams). Of course, because no hero from the MCU is capable of having anything remotely resembling a day off, the wedding is interrupted when a giant cycloptic octopus appears in town, chasing a young girl named America Chavez (Xochitl Gomez). 

Once Strange, with an assist from the Sorcerer Supreme Wong (Benedict Wong), has dealt with the octopus he learns that America has the power to hope through dimensions, a power so great that in order to try and help America he must get some assistance from Wanda Maximoff (Elizabeth Olsen). Sadly for Doctor Strange, the moment he tries to bring Wanda into the situation is the moment when things turn from bad to absolutely nightmarish.

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Holy Hell! Mad God is Unabashedly Fkd Up – And We Love It!

Originally posted on Soda & Telepaths June 22nd 2022

Mad God tells the dark and unsettling tale of a world that is on the brink of destruction, or maybe even well over that brink considering how cold and desolate it is. It’s a land filled with horrifying creatures everywhere you look and one man, known simply as The Assassin, must trek through it.

With nothing more than a disintegrating map and a suitcase bomb that will hopefully destroy the entire planet, The Assassin must make his way through the dark apocalyptic land in order to reach his destination where he can release the bomb and bring an end to the mad world that he inhabits.

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Living With Chucky (2023) – It’s A Living

Released: 24th April
Seen: 6th May

The Child’s Play series is one of the most fascinating horror franchises out there. Over 35 years there have been seven films, a TV series and a reboot to tell the story of a red-headed doll possessed by a serial killer (or in the reboot’s case, AI gone wrong) and for that entire time Chucky has somehow maintained a strange but cohesive story that runs throughout the franchise. It’s that rarest of series that carries the central cast and a large part of the crew for sequel after sequel. 

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Guardians Of The Galaxy Vol 3 (2023) – Out Of This World

Released: 3rd May
Seen: 3rd May

Guardians Of The Galaxy Vol 3

When it comes to the many franchises that make up the MCU, it’s arguable that one of the most surprising of them all is the Guardians of the Galaxy franchise. Based on one of the most obscure Marvel comics out there, the first Guardians movie took the MCU into space and, effectively, introduced the character Thanos to the franchise as an actual character in the narrative instead of as an end credits gag. The second Guardians movie somehow managed to be even better, funnier and more emotional with grander stakes that showed just what these characters were capable of. 

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Ghosted (2023) – Leave On Read

Released: 21st April
Seen: 24th April

Sometimes a film feels like it should be basically impossible to mess up, a combination of a great director, great writers and great actors that seems like at the bare minimum it should produce a piece of fun, harmless entertainment that’ll deliver on what it promises. Say you have the director of one of the best biopic films ever, gave him a film written by the people who wrote two major superhero franchise films and a pair of actors who have proven to have chemistry before who are also wildly popular and insanely talented. That sounds like a recipe for success, a surefire way to make something that’s at least on the surface level enjoyable… so what the hell went wrong with Ghostedyou to make it as dull as it is?

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