So, this year’s Oscars are going to be a complete farce aren’t they? I mean, have you all been following how everything’s been going over there? With them cutting categories from the broadcast then putting them back in and not having a host because they decided that it wasn’t important enough to hire a new one when their last one quit because he refused to say “I’m sorry” when it came out that he’d made homophobic statements that technically count as jokes because he didn’t mean them (because that’s a joke now, apparently). Oh and then there’s the stuff about them nominating a film made by an accused sex offender, one of the directors being kind of called out for flashing people on set, then there was the stuff about them not showing all the Best Original Song nominees until they got serious backlash from everyone, including Lin Manuel Miranda who literally wrote one of the songs that weren’t going to be performed… yeah, this ceremony is going to be a mess and because it’s going to be a mess, it’s time to be messy and pick who I, someone with no influence whatsoever, think should get each one of these formerly-prestigious awards that are now basically glorified advertisements for movies that they want people to go see and not an actual display of what would be considered “Best” of anything… I’M BITTER, IN CASE YOU CAN’T TELL!
Now for the list that everybody’s been waiting for (Ha, I kid, no one waits for my lists), and is also the most controversial because there are some people who don’t like the idea of a list that’s purely dedicated to discussing films that are deemed bad. I understand that point of view even if I don’t agree with it. I consider this list to be a cleansing, a look back at the films of the year that were the low points so that we can reflect upon them and get that anger out of the system in order to start off the new year properly… that and there are some films that need condemning either because they represent a major issue in the industry or were so poorly made that it still boggles my mind that they were able to find a release. If you want to go back and see my rules or just remind yourself of what I consider to be a good list, yesterday I had my best films list up so now onto the worst. Let’s start with the dishonorable mention!
Another year has come and gone, the first time I’ve been doing this for a full year (Albiet in bursts) and this has been really nice. Final year of University was good, this year I had 10K views on this blog and while that’s not a lot to some, it means a ton to me. Even when I was sitting through films I hated, I was loving that I got to do this and try and explain why you should or shouldn’t see them even if there were times that my explanations were not well worded (Working on that is my new years resolution). But, as is tradition with reviewers there are now lists to make and this list is the ‘Best’ list (AKA just the ones I liked the most but no one ever admits to that openly because ‘best’ is the term people serarch for, even though calling something ‘best’ is a very bad term for a subjective artform like film). Before we get to that, here’s the parameters for the lists we’ll be doing.
- I did not see every film. I saw a fair few of them and was seeing them since the start of the year but thanks to final year of Uni stuff, I missed some because doing assignments came over going to movies so if something from isn’t on the list that probably should be, there’s your first potential reason.
- Only films released in Australia in 2018 are going to be on this list. Specifically films need to have a wide release, wide enough that I can get to see them at a massive chain cinema like Event. Festival screenings are nice and all but they do not help me in this situation becuase, at the moment, I’m not paid for this. So this means films like If Beale Street Could Talk, Mary Poppins Returns, Green Book and The Hate U Give and are not eligible because, while they may have had screenings before the end of the year that I just couldn’t get too, they didn’t have a proper wide release. They’ll be eligible for the 2019 list and hopefully by then maybe Hollywood will stop being idiots and just release a movie worldwide on the same day instead of making some countries wait 3 months and then wonder why there’s piracy. Basically, if there isn’t a review on this blog about it, I didn’t see it.
- Netflix films are totally eligible for both lists. Indeed any video on demand movie is available for scrutiny, no matter how they had to release it. If they sent it out to be viewed by an audience, then they should be ready for critique.
- These are merely my opinions and you are absolutely entitled to disagree with me for any reason, go nuts, make your own list in the comments or question my order. That’s fine. What’s not fine is just saying “Your list sucks” with no reason behind it, critique is fine but blind attacks with no reason isn’t. Again, just my opinion.
With that said, before we get to the list, I have several honorable mentions, because this year was so good that I couldn’t be restrained to just one
Over the last few days, there’s been a bit of a battle going on over the internet regarding tweets that were made by Kevin Hart in 2011. These tweets came to light because Kevin Hart became the Oscar’s host and since that get’s you in the headlines, people start digging around. When they dug deeper they found there were more than a few homophobic tweets made by the actor.Continue reading “The Kevin Hart Conundrum”
So if there is one thing that anyone who has read my writing could work out about me, it’s that I’m not exactly a subtle person. I couldn’t do subtle to save my life. What you may not know is just how small of a website this is. In the first year of writing, I had about 1500 views, a peak month in November when I had 400 views and my best article was my mother! review which sat at a very tidy 100 views. I’m not even big enough to be considered small, but I enjoy this and hope that in the future I’ll be able to do more of this kind of work. Now, why am I writing this? Why am I bothering you with something that seems so congratulatory even when there is nothing to congratulate me about. Well, because I’ve clearly somehow made it to the big leagues because this right here is a paid editorial. Or at least, it would be if I accepted the payment.
TL:DR version: Media Top tried to get me to write an article for them, I got a ton of information about the process they use in order to dupe unsuspecting bloggers and decided to share it with as many people as I possibly can!
Strap yourself in, this is going to be a long one but I promise you it’s worth your time.
Last year, around this time, the 2017 Oscars happened and I looked at the Best Picture nominees and I’d seen none of them. NONE. Not a single one of those movies was one that I saw. I would eventually see Hidden Figures but every other movie? Nope. That lead me to try and see every film and, in turn, led to this blog where I can now give my actual opinions on the Oscars since, with the exception of Phantom Thread, I’ve seen pretty much all the nominees. As of right now I haven’t found anywhere that’ll show Phantom Thread near me so I can see it, maybe that’ll change between now and Oscar day but until then, here are my picks.
Of all the movies to become obsessed over, why did this have to be the one to grab hold of me? For over a week now I can’t get this film out of my head and not because it’s good. No, my problem with this film is that it’s actually fixable and could’ve been watchable with some mild tweaks. Admittedly, they were mild tweaks that were never going to happen because E.L. James has complete creative control and she is the worst writer to currently be published but still, this was salvageable.
What follows is me going through the film, figuring out what elements could change to make it work. I will be spoiling large amounts of the story, but if you’re reading this then chances are you either saw the film already and are curious how it could ever be salvaged or you don’t plan on seeing it. Keep in mind that I’m only worried about the film. I am treating this like its own original work and not as an adaptation, mostly cos I’m not reading the damn books.
Before we get to that though, we have to deal with a fundamental problem that would require redoing the entire trilogy from the start.