Of all the movies to become obsessed over, why did this have to be the one to grab hold of me? For over a week now I can’t get this film out of my head and not because it’s good. No, my problem with this film is that it’s actually fixable and could’ve been watchable with some mild tweaks. Admittedly, they were mild tweaks that were never going to happen because E.L. James has complete creative control and she is the worst writer to currently be published but still, this was salvageable.
What follows is me going through the film, figuring out what elements could change to make it work. I will be spoiling large amounts of the story, but if you’re reading this then chances are you either saw the film already and are curious how it could ever be salvaged or you don’t plan on seeing it. Keep in mind that I’m only worried about the film. I am treating this like its own original work and not as an adaptation, mostly cos I’m not reading the damn books.
Before we get to that though, we have to deal with a fundamental problem that would require redoing the entire trilogy from the start.