Maxxxine (2024) – I’m A Star…?

Released: 11th July
Seen: 14th July

In March of 2022, the world was introduced to Maxine Minx in a little horror film called X. The film revolved around a group of people making a porno film on a farm that they were renting from an elderly couple – an elderly couple that would go on to murder most of the people making that film except for final girl Maxine Minx. X was a fascinating film, combining a classic 1970s-era slasher film with the rise of Porno-Chic that was occurring around that era thanks to films like Deep Throat or The Devil in Miss Jones and contained one of the most fascinating slasher villains in the form of Pearl, an elderly woman who resented the sexual freedom of the young people who were on her farm. Something else that set X apart was a post-credits scene that revealed that not only would there be another film in this setting, but that it had already been filmed and would be released 6 months later. 

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Lift (2024) – Drop It

Released: 12th January
Seen: 15th January

Lift Info

It’s become something of a joke lately that Netflix keeps producing so many films that they can’t even properly advertise them all, but it’s also probably for the best that they don’t because a lot of them are strangely forgettable garbage that’s just kind of created so that Netflix has a library of films that will never be taken away from them. What’s weird about this is that Netflix spends an absolutely jaw-dropping amount on films that, at best, will spend an eternity sitting in their digital library where they aren’t really designed to turn a profit. These are blockbusters that are made without the intention of getting blockbuster profits, a strange phenomenon that would maybe be OK if it led to fun enjoyable films… but it doesn’t, it leads to content like Lift

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The Killer (2023) – Fincher Strikes Again

Released: 10th November
Seen: 15th November

The Killer Info

David Fincher is arguably one of the greatest directors working today, a man who has made several of the greatest films of the modern era who people revere as a director for good reason. Even when his films aren’t instant classics there’s something interesting going on with them, at bare minimum, his films will give you something to think about and will probably be full of great performances on top of it. His name alone is basically a marker of quality so it should come as no shock that once again Fincher has made a fascinating film about a dark immoral character and asked us to take a closer look at how mundane they actually are and once again it’s strangely fascinating.

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Killers Of The Flower Moon (2023) – Damn It Scorsese!

IMPORTANT NOTE: This piece was written during the 2023 SAG-AFTRA strike. Without the labor of the actors currently on strike, the movies being covered here wouldn’t exist.

Released: 20th October
Seen: 4th November

Killers Of The Flower Moon Info

There are some directors who seem pretty much incapable of making a genuinely bad film, Martin Scorsese is one of those people who just seems incapable of making something that’s actually bad. It’s honestly kind of amazing the streak of undeniably great films that this man has had, he’s the kind of director whose filmography is so great you could have hour-long arguments about which is his best and there’s at least a dozen solid choices you could make. It’s kind of amazing to think that this man is still putting out absolutely brilliant films in his 80s and doesn’t show any signs of slowing down any time soon. Even now with another absolutely fascinating work, Killers of the Flower Moon shows the man keeps on hitting… but he also really needs to be told to make a film under 3 hours because it’s getting silly at this point.

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Pain Hustlers (2023) – Pop A Pill

IMPORTANT NOTE: This piece was written during the 2023 SAG-AFTRA strike. Without the labor of the actors currently on strike, the movies being covered here wouldn’t exist.

Released: 27th October
Seen: 2nd November

The current opioid crisis that’s going on feels like it’s almost inevitably going to be the fodder for a ton of movies and TV shows just because it feels so insidious. It’s aA= massive health crisis that’s ravaged a desperate part of society and was turbocharged by a couple of money-hungry assholes who already have more money than god. That right there is basically the kind of situation that is destined to be turned into a form of consumable entertainment so that we can hope to understand just how this happened to hopefully start working on repairing the damage. A recent miniseries that tackled this was Dopesick which was a big hit but is also 8 episodes long, that might be too much for some people so a speedier version of this story is told in Pain Hustlers, a dark crime drama that shoots for the stars but just barely manages to hit orbit.

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To Catch A Killer (2023) – Silence

IMPORTANT NOTE: This piece was written during the 2023 SAG-AFTRA strike. Without the labor of the actors currently on strike, the movies being covered here wouldn’t exist.

Released: 8th June
Seen: 10th October

Sometimes it’s really hard to figure out how to open one of these things, especially now that there’s a format that begins with “Rambling paragraph that provides some context for the film that’s about to be talked about”. The problem is that some films don’t really give themselves anything to work with because it’s so middle of the road that you might as well describe the method for which white lines are painted on the middle of the road. It’s also the hardest kind of review to write, trying to find a couple of hundred words to say “It’s fine I guess” That explains why it’s merely fine but also gives enough information that people who might still enjoy it will know about the film’s existence. Basically, this is going to be dull for all concerned but I saw it, it came out this year, therefore it gets written about so here are some thoughts about To Catch A Killer.

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A Haunting In Venice (2023) – I Moustache A Question

IMPORTANT NOTE: This piece was written during the 2023 WGA and SAG-AFTRA strikes. Without the labor of the writers and actors currently on strike, the movies being covered here wouldn’t exist.

Released: 14th September
Seen: 20th September

Six years ago Kenneth Branaugh released Murder On The Orient Express, a surprise blockbuster murder mystery that showed there was still a lot of love for the classic murder mystery genre. Hell, it’s probably fair to say that without the success of Murder On The Orient Express we wouldn’t have seen Knives Out a few years later, Of course, because Murder On The Orient Express was such a huge hit, and there are over 40 assorted Hercule Poirot novels that could be adapted, naturally that meant a sequel which is why we got Death On The Nile last year. That film was not one that ended up being reviewed over here because of the Armie Hammer allegations which made the prospect of seeing it just a little bit depressing, and now definitely won’t be seeing it thanks to the Russell Brand allegations. Fortunately, Death On The Nile does not appear to be required viewing in order to follow A Haunting In Venice, if you even want to try and follow it.

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Marlowe (2023) – Mar-no

IMPORTANT NOTE: This piece was written during the 2023 WGA and SAG-AFTRA strikes. Without the labor of the writers and actors currently on strike, the movies being covered here wouldn’t exist.

Released: 6th April
Seen: 11th September

Philip Marlowe started life as a character created in the 1920s, created by Raymond Chandler for a series of short stories that appeared in assorted magazines at the time. Before Raymond’s death in 1959 he would end up writing over half a dozen books about Philip Marlowe’s adventures, along with several short stories that would make up a few anthologies. The character was so popular that even after Raymond’s death there were books written by other authors, more and more detective stories about Marlowe have filled bookshelves over the years.

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The Ritual Killer (2023) – Dead Boring

IMPORTANT NOTE: This piece was written during the 2023 WGA and SAG-AFTRA strikes. Without the labor of the writers and actors currently on strike, the movies being covered here wouldn’t exist.

Released: 19th April
Seen: 9th September

The Ritual Killer INfo

I think it’s time to ask a very serious question… does Morgan Freeman owe someone money? Does the legendary five-time Oscar-nominated (and only one-time winner, somehow) who starred in such monster hits as The Shawshank Redemption and Bruce Almighty have a huge tax bill that he needs to pay off? It’s a question that feels like it needs to be asked because lately, it seems that every time he’s being seen on screen it’s in some low-budget piece of shit that shouldn’t exist, a piece of shit selling itself almost entirely on the fact that it stars Morgan Freeman. This is a man who deserves to only have to work when he wants to, when a project is good enough to be worthy of him… he shouldn’t have to take up a supporting role in The Ritual Killer to pay the bills!

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Fast X (2023) – Slow Down!

Released: 17th May
Seen: 20th May

Fast X Info

The Fast and the Furious franchise has developed something of a reputation over the years. At first, that reputation was that these were the films to see cool car tricks and hot women in skimpy outfits, maybe with a little bit of a heist thrown in for dramatic tension. Now the Fast and Furious movies are where you go to see physics be violently pegged by a souped-up automobile powered by the laws of “Fuck you, this looks cool”. It’s somewhat of a dramatic shift over the years but it’s honestly been for the best, the franchise was kind of dull and boring in the beginning and now it’s almost impossible not to salivate in anticipation for what insanely stupid thing is going to be done next behind the wheel of a car.

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