13: The Musical (2022) – Child’s Play

Released: 12th August
Seen: 24th August

In September 2008, the Broadway production of 13: The Musical began its run, a run that would last until January of 2009 after 22 previews and 105 performances. It was a truly unique show as the entire cast and band were made up of teenagers, something that as far as we know has never been done on Broadway before or since. It’s also a bit of a milestone as this was the show that featured the professional debut of eventual pop icon Ariana Grande. In its own way, 13: The Musical is kind of special, an original teen-oriented musical that can be performed with a cast made up entirely of 13-year-olds that isn’t just a junior version of a different show. Naturally, a show with this kind of significance would be a prime target for adaptation… with the thing that made it kind of special being removed.

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The LEGO NINJAGO Movie

Seen September 23rd

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First there was the Lego Movie, and it showed everyone that you could create a piece of art using a licenced toy that was actually good. Then came Lego Batman, which showed you coulde play around in multiple established universes and still tell your own story. Then there was Ninjago… it was a movie.

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Cars 3

Seen 10th July

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In Pixar’s short history they have found a way to make some of the most emotional movies. Toy Story 3, Up, Inside Out, Wall-E, all movies that have a reputation of pulling at the heartstrings and making even the toughest viewer cry like an anime fan on prom night. Sadly, they’ve never gotten that level of emotion with Cars and certainly didn’t get it with Cars 3

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Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Long Haul

Seen 1st July

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In the late ‘80s and ‘90s when VHS was getting popular, there was a phenomenon known as the “Straight-to-video Movie”. When DVD came in, they only got bigger. Straight-to-video movies were huge because they were cheap to make, you only needed one recognizable name and as long as there was a Blockbuster around you were guaranteed to make money. This genre is why Steven Seagal is able to eat. It’s also the genre that Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Long Haul should be in because it sure as hell doesn’t belong in a cinema.

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Beauty & The Beast

Seen May 7th

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In 1991 Disney released Beauty and the Beast, a film that practically saved the studio and pushed it into the renaissance period of the studio. That period was hinted at with Little Mermaid but it’s Beauty and the Beast that reminded everyone that Disney still had it, soon followed by Aladdin and Lion King, it was a period in time when Disney was on top again and holds the distinction of being the first animated film to be nominated for Best Picture. It’s a goddamn iconic movie… so why the actual hell would anyone remake it?

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