Rebel Moon: Part One – A Child Of Fire

Released: 22nd December
Seen: 25th December

Here’s the hottest of my hot takes regarding recent trends in cinema. Zack Snyder has changed from being an interesting director who took chances into possibly one of the most boring directors out there. What makes him boring, at least to me, is that he seems to think every film he touches has to be some edgy, dark, gritty adult tale no matter what the context. This works when he does films about Zombies, something where being dark and gritty actually can work, however, when he tried this with goddamn Superman it started the ball rolling on the utter destruction of the DC cinematic universe. Now he’s turned this dark gritty edgy lens to another beloved property that’s primarily aimed at children, Star Wars… and god damn it, Rebel Moon just kind of sucks.

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The Wrath Of Becky (2023) – OH MY GOD!

Released: 16th November
Seen: 23rd November

In 2020 a little film called Becky came out and delivered something that cinema desperately needed, a 14 year old girl who kills a whole assload of Nazi assholes in various wild and wonderful ways. It was an absolute blast of a film, filled with great performances by absolutely everyone involved and created an instantly iconic female character with Becky. It was a film that I enjoyed so much it made the honourable mentions list on my best films list that year and the Kevin James performance was the 11th best performance on my list. When news of a sequel came out you can imagine the genuine excitement that built, more fun time with Becky violently killing a bunch of bastards just sounded like the best thing possible and thank goodness, The Wrath Of Becky absolutely lives up to the standard set by the film that came before it.

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The Killer (2023) – Fincher Strikes Again

Released: 10th November
Seen: 15th November

The Killer Info

David Fincher is arguably one of the greatest directors working today, a man who has made several of the greatest films of the modern era who people revere as a director for good reason. Even when his films aren’t instant classics there’s something interesting going on with them, at bare minimum, his films will give you something to think about and will probably be full of great performances on top of it. His name alone is basically a marker of quality so it should come as no shock that once again Fincher has made a fascinating film about a dark immoral character and asked us to take a closer look at how mundane they actually are and once again it’s strangely fascinating.

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The Marvels (2023) – Marvelous

Released: 9th November
Seen: 8th November

It’s no secret that the Marvel movies are having a difficult time lately, at least a difficult time by the standard of a studio that’s been a cultural juggernaut for over a decade and counting. Basically, ever since Endgame the films and TV series have seemed to be in flux like the studio just realised they did something absolutely massive and are now scrambling to figure out what the hell they do for an encore. Personally, I’ve enjoyed pretty much all of the post-Endgame stuff, I contend that even bad Marvel movies are better than a lot of the other things that are being put out by major studios lately. It’s comfort food but I get that it might be getting stale for some, which is probably why the release of The Marvels is being met with trepidation and anticipation of a bad movie… I don’t know why people think that because The Marvels is one of the best post-Endgame movies to be released but hey, to each their own.

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Transformers: Rise Of The Beasts (2023) – Fun Film In Disguise

IMPORTANT NOTE: This piece was written during the 2023 SAG-AFTRA strike. Without the labor of the actors currently on strike, the movies being covered here wouldn’t exist.

Released: 22nd June
Seen: 6th November

Let’s be honest, the Transformers series as a cinematic universe hasn’t exactly had the best track record. Sure, the original animated film is considered something of a cult classic that had people sobbing over the death of a cartoon robot but then we had almost a half dozen atrocities directed by the luckiest man on earth, Michael Bay and that ended up being a big mistake. Sure, Bay’s films made money but none of them were actually good, they were spectacles that eventually lost their luster through bad filmmaking and uninteresting stories. Now fortunately the franchise was wrestled away from Bay and given to people who seemed to care which led to Bumblebee which is still the high point for the live-action series. It was a movie that actually felt fun and fresh in a way that has clearly impacted how these movies are made because it led directly to Transformers: Rise Of The Beasts, which might not be as great as Bumblebee, but it’s still fun.

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Sisu (2023) – Golden

IMPORTANT NOTE: This piece was written during the 2023 SAG-AFTRA strike. Without the labor of the actors currently on strike, the movies being covered here wouldn’t exist.

Released: 27th July
Seen: 23rd October

Sisu Info

Some films are important art pieces where every little detail needs to be considered in a wider context, some films are prestige pictures that need to be given reference and explored in as careful detail as possible, there are even films that are family affairs that should be questioned on how appropriate they are to be viewed by children and if they can also be enjoyed by a parent who legally has to be at the cinema with their child or risk a charge of child abandonment… and then there’s films like Sisu that say “Hey, Nazi’s fucking suck right? Wanna watch an old guy shove a pickaxe in a Nazi’s piss slit?” and you respond with an enthusiastic and gleeful cry that can be heard from space because Sisu delivers on the pure Nazi-dismembering joy that everyone can and should enjoy.

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To Catch A Killer (2023) – Silence

IMPORTANT NOTE: This piece was written during the 2023 SAG-AFTRA strike. Without the labor of the actors currently on strike, the movies being covered here wouldn’t exist.

Released: 8th June
Seen: 10th October

Sometimes it’s really hard to figure out how to open one of these things, especially now that there’s a format that begins with “Rambling paragraph that provides some context for the film that’s about to be talked about”. The problem is that some films don’t really give themselves anything to work with because it’s so middle of the road that you might as well describe the method for which white lines are painted on the middle of the road. It’s also the hardest kind of review to write, trying to find a couple of hundred words to say “It’s fine I guess” That explains why it’s merely fine but also gives enough information that people who might still enjoy it will know about the film’s existence. Basically, this is going to be dull for all concerned but I saw it, it came out this year, therefore it gets written about so here are some thoughts about To Catch A Killer.

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Hypnotic (2023) – Sleep!

IMPORTANT NOTE: This piece was written during the 2023 SAG-AFTRA strike. Without the labor of the actors currently on strike, the movies being covered here wouldn’t exist.

Released: 11th May
Seen: 6th October

Robert Rodriguez is a fascinating creative force that’s been a mainstay in pop culture ever since the 90s. For over 30 years now he has been one of the few true auteur directors, a man who has his fingers in every element of the filmmaking process and making magic out of extremely low budgets. With films like From Dusk Till Dawn, Sin City, and the Spy Kids franchise under his belt, Robert Rodriguez’s name alone is enough to get people excited to see what he’s going to do. You would’ve thought his name attached to a Ben Affleck action film would’ve been something of a slam dunk, a creative director and one of the few true superstars of modern cinema together feels like it should be a combination designed for greatness… As it is, Hypnotic is just pretty OK.

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Blue Beetle (2023) – Delightful

IMPORTANT NOTE: This piece was written during the 2023 WGA and SAG-AFTRA strikes. Without the labor of the writers and actors currently on strike, the movies being covered here wouldn’t exist.

Released: 14th September
Seen: 19th September

Blue Beetle Info

The DCEU is dead, to begin with. There is no doubt whatever about that. The register of its burial was signed by the clergyman, the clerk, the undertaker, and the chief mourners who continually scream for the Snyderverse to be revived. It is dead and will have its final death rattle later in the year when Aquaman 2 comes out before all the toys are thrown out and we restart this experiment again with a brand new man in charge of everything. Perhaps that well-known death of the franchise explains why Blue Beetle will soon be limping past the finish line just barely making its production budget back… which is a massive shame because Blue Beetle is absolutely awesome from start to finish.

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Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem (2023) – COWABUNGA!

IMPORTANT NOTE: This piece was written during the 2023 WGA and SAG-AFTRA strikes. Without the labor of the writers and actors currently on strike, the movies being covered here wouldn’t exist.

Released: 7th September
Seen: 13th September

By now the story of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and their creation is well known. From its start as an underground comic designed to parody superheroes to the legendary cartoon series that gave us the theme song that you are inevitably humming right now to the first movie that not only was a defining action film for a lot of childhoods but allowed New Line Cinema to go from a little independent company to one that was big enough that it could eventually make the Lord of the Rings movies. It’s an absolute phenomenon of a franchise that’s had several iterations over the years with various visual styles and tones that range from the dark and serious to the light and comedic. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem leans more towards light and comedic but also might be the best take on the franchise since the 1990 film.

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