Saltburn (2023) – Brilliance On The Dance Floor

Released: 16th November
Seen: 24th November

In 2021, Emerald Fennell released Promising Young Woman, which quickly became one of my favourite films that I’ve ever been able to review. The year it came out I proclaimed it the second best film of the year, had the fourth best performance of the year and was adamant that the film should win every single Oscar it was nominated for. I was an evangelist for the film and when talking about it on the Best List I said, quote “if Emerald Fenell walks into your office and asks to make a movie, you hand that woman a blank cheque and let her go wild”… It’s clear that someone was listening to this request, because if Saltburn isn’t what happens when Emerald Fennell goes wild, I don’t know what is.

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Rustin (2023) – Historic

Released: 16th November
Seen: 23rd November

Bayard Rustin was born in 1912 and lived one of the most fascinating lives that you will ever skim through on Wikipedia. Raised as a Quaker, the man was openly gay back when that was a much more dangerous thing to be than it is now (and oh boy is it still dangerous now), he recorded several albums of gospel music, was at the forefront of many civil rights movements and even ended up adopting his lover in the 80s because they were unable to get married so had to do the most creative workaround ever to ensure they had their rights. The man is genuinely fascinating, someone who should probably have an entire docuseries made about his life but if you were to pick one event from his remarkable life to make a movie about it seems fitting that his work in organising the legendary march on Washington would be the focal point for the biopic Rustin.

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The Killer (2023) – Fincher Strikes Again

Released: 10th November
Seen: 15th November

The Killer Info

David Fincher is arguably one of the greatest directors working today, a man who has made several of the greatest films of the modern era who people revere as a director for good reason. Even when his films aren’t instant classics there’s something interesting going on with them, at bare minimum, his films will give you something to think about and will probably be full of great performances on top of it. His name alone is basically a marker of quality so it should come as no shock that once again Fincher has made a fascinating film about a dark immoral character and asked us to take a closer look at how mundane they actually are and once again it’s strangely fascinating.

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Killers Of The Flower Moon (2023) – Damn It Scorsese!

IMPORTANT NOTE: This piece was written during the 2023 SAG-AFTRA strike. Without the labor of the actors currently on strike, the movies being covered here wouldn’t exist.

Released: 20th October
Seen: 4th November

Killers Of The Flower Moon Info

There are some directors who seem pretty much incapable of making a genuinely bad film, Martin Scorsese is one of those people who just seems incapable of making something that’s actually bad. It’s honestly kind of amazing the streak of undeniably great films that this man has had, he’s the kind of director whose filmography is so great you could have hour-long arguments about which is his best and there’s at least a dozen solid choices you could make. It’s kind of amazing to think that this man is still putting out absolutely brilliant films in his 80s and doesn’t show any signs of slowing down any time soon. Even now with another absolutely fascinating work, Killers of the Flower Moon shows the man keeps on hitting… but he also really needs to be told to make a film under 3 hours because it’s getting silly at this point.

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You Hurt My Feelings (2023) – Wo-o-o Feelings

IMPORTANT NOTE: This piece was written during the 2023 SAG-AFTRA strike. Without the labor of the actors currently on strike, the movies being covered here wouldn’t exist.

Released: 15th June
Seen: 4th November

One thing that’s particularly hard to talk about is films with low stakes. Films where people are just trying to get by in a small everyday situation where there isn’t much being risked are often the kinds of films that are perfectly fine enough but don’t have much that you can really sink your teeth into in order to talk about. Maybe a smarter reviewer would have set up something so that films like this could be bunched together in a single post instead of trying to turn “It’s fine” into a thousand-word review… this isn’t a site run by a smarter reviewer, this site is run by a big dumb dummy who thought it would be a good idea to do a lengthy individual review on every film that is seen in a given year so now I will attempt to find ways to talk about You Hurt My Feelings for more than a few paragraphs, which is going to be a challenge but one worth trying.

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Pain Hustlers (2023) – Pop A Pill

IMPORTANT NOTE: This piece was written during the 2023 SAG-AFTRA strike. Without the labor of the actors currently on strike, the movies being covered here wouldn’t exist.

Released: 27th October
Seen: 2nd November

The current opioid crisis that’s going on feels like it’s almost inevitably going to be the fodder for a ton of movies and TV shows just because it feels so insidious. It’s aA= massive health crisis that’s ravaged a desperate part of society and was turbocharged by a couple of money-hungry assholes who already have more money than god. That right there is basically the kind of situation that is destined to be turned into a form of consumable entertainment so that we can hope to understand just how this happened to hopefully start working on repairing the damage. A recent miniseries that tackled this was Dopesick which was a big hit but is also 8 episodes long, that might be too much for some people so a speedier version of this story is told in Pain Hustlers, a dark crime drama that shoots for the stars but just barely manages to hit orbit.

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To Catch A Killer (2023) – Silence

IMPORTANT NOTE: This piece was written during the 2023 SAG-AFTRA strike. Without the labor of the actors currently on strike, the movies being covered here wouldn’t exist.

Released: 8th June
Seen: 10th October

Sometimes it’s really hard to figure out how to open one of these things, especially now that there’s a format that begins with “Rambling paragraph that provides some context for the film that’s about to be talked about”. The problem is that some films don’t really give themselves anything to work with because it’s so middle of the road that you might as well describe the method for which white lines are painted on the middle of the road. It’s also the hardest kind of review to write, trying to find a couple of hundred words to say “It’s fine I guess” That explains why it’s merely fine but also gives enough information that people who might still enjoy it will know about the film’s existence. Basically, this is going to be dull for all concerned but I saw it, it came out this year, therefore it gets written about so here are some thoughts about To Catch A Killer.

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After Everything (2023) – Death To All Of Them

IMPORTANT NOTE: This piece was written during the 2023 SAG-AFTRA strike. Without the labor of the actors currently on strike, the movies being covered here wouldn’t exist.

Released: 6th October
Seen: 6th October

The After franchise has become a nemesis of mine, a franchise I have a deep and profound hatred of that will never die. Every single time a new entry is released, the sound of my wail of pain can be heard around the block because it’s almost predetermined what is going to be put on the screen. Every film is an hour and a half of a depressingly demented toxic relationship with a blank sheet of paper that answers to the name of Tessa (Josephine Langford) and an abusive piece of excrement meant to resemble one of the biggest pop stars of our generation who answers to the name Hardin (Hero Fiennes Tiffin). Every time it’s a film of two people who shouldn’t be sharing time zones having an absurdly toxic and awful time, arguing constantly and breaking up their arguing with lackluster sex set to music chosen by a DJ who is high on ketamine and every time it’s just a bad time for anyone watching that has half a brain. 

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A Haunting In Venice (2023) – I Moustache A Question

IMPORTANT NOTE: This piece was written during the 2023 WGA and SAG-AFTRA strikes. Without the labor of the writers and actors currently on strike, the movies being covered here wouldn’t exist.

Released: 14th September
Seen: 20th September

Six years ago Kenneth Branaugh released Murder On The Orient Express, a surprise blockbuster murder mystery that showed there was still a lot of love for the classic murder mystery genre. Hell, it’s probably fair to say that without the success of Murder On The Orient Express we wouldn’t have seen Knives Out a few years later, Of course, because Murder On The Orient Express was such a huge hit, and there are over 40 assorted Hercule Poirot novels that could be adapted, naturally that meant a sequel which is why we got Death On The Nile last year. That film was not one that ended up being reviewed over here because of the Armie Hammer allegations which made the prospect of seeing it just a little bit depressing, and now definitely won’t be seeing it thanks to the Russell Brand allegations. Fortunately, Death On The Nile does not appear to be required viewing in order to follow A Haunting In Venice, if you even want to try and follow it.

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