They Will Kill You (2026) – Killer

Released: 12th March
Seen: 13th June

In 2019, a fun little horror film called Ready or Not came out and became a major hit, at least among Horror fans. The film itself revolved around a bride being introduced to her new family, who turn out to be Satan worshippers, who need to hunt her down and kill her by sunrise to give their dark lord a tribute to maintain their family’s wealth. It was a truly insane, blood-soaked ride full of dark comedy and some of the most insane action scenes. It was a film that was almost destined to have imitators, and now here comes They Will Kill You that gives a crash course in how to copy from other better films and still make something awesome.

They Will Kill You follows Asia Reaves (Zazie Beetz), a young woman who has just got out of jail after serving her sentence for shooting her abusive father. Now she’s trying to find her sister, Maria (Myha’la), who is working at The Virgil. The Virgil is a high-rise hotel for the upper class, seemingly run by the Irish manager Lily Woodhouse (Patricia Arquette). Asia rents a room and tries to get a good night’s sleep before continuing her search for her sister when three people wearing masks and long cloaks sneak into her room and try to kidnap her… key word being try because turns out Asia is an ass-kicking machine who packed an assload of weapons that she will now use to clean out The Virgil of people. Get ready to see Zazie Beetz running about hallways with a large bladed weapon, cleaving off limbs like she was pruning weeds… It’s fucking glorious.

They Will Kill You plays everything at an 11 from the start and somehow finds a way to keep going higher. From the very first scene, the film lets you know exactly what you’re in for with its hyper-stylistic shot choices, broad characters and over-the-top violence. Before we even get to The Virgil, you should know if this film is going to work for you. It removes the notion of subtlety from the equation pretty quickly and makes it very clear that you’re in for something absolutely insane. By the time you see the title card forming in the steam of a mirror, you should have a good idea of the level of violence and stylistic weirdness that you’re in for, and then you can just begin to switch your brain off and enjoy the ride.

While the influence of Ready Or Not looms large over They Will Kill You, it’s pretty clear that the biggest influence is Quentin Tarantino’s films. Specifically, Quentin’s take on the splatter-filled Asian cinema that influenced his work in Kill Bill. They Will Kill You just lifts a lot of those visuals and ideas and borrows them for its take on Ready or Not. It’s a copy of a copy in that way, but it manages not to feel as derivative as it probably should. Instead, it moves at such a brisk pace that you don’t even really have the time to start worrying about originality, by the time you even let that thought enter your head, the main character is swinging a flaming axe into the chest of murderous cultists, and at that point, who gives a fuck about being purely original?

When in doubt, They Will Kill You leans into the rule of cool and more often than not, it works. As things get more and more insane (if I even tried to describe some of the stuff that happens in the third act, you probably wouldn’t believe me), it also heightens the stylism. The shots get a lot more artistic, the blood spray turns more cartoonish, and the fight scenes become much more elaborate the longer the film goes on. You can almost see the film actively working to set up the cool shot, like a Rube-Goldberg machine where the end result is a cinematographer’s wet dream. If the cool shot needs a bunch of feathers to float down from the sky, a character will pointedly search for the fluffiest pillow to throw right in the path of a bullet to ensure the most feathers fly and goddamn it, it works. It works so well because every single time the film goes to this effort, it results in something so insanely badass it’s impossible not to enjoy it.

It also helps that each of the performances is just big enough to match the stylism of the visuals. Zazie is just so overly badass that you end up wanting an entire franchise just dedicated to her kicking ass, Patricia puts on an absurd Irish accent while delivering one of the most glorious villainous performances ever, even small roles played by Tom Felton or Heather Graham just play everything as over the top as possible (I swear Tom somehow made himself even MORE British) just to match the energy of the rest of the film. Everyone in the cast gets that they’re in a film built on being absolutely bonkers, and without fail, they all meet that heightened expectation.

They Will Kill You is just gloriously fun, a film that might be borrowing from those who came before it, but does it so well that it’s hard to really be mad about it. It’s silly and it knows it, there is no point in pretending this is anything other than something completely goofy. Sure, it might nod at heavier ideas like gentrification and classism but those are really just there because it’d be insane not to bring them up in a modern film set in this kind of location. You come to a film like this to see a badass woman collect the severed heads of rich assholes while a high-energy soundtrack underscores the carnage, and god damn if this film doesn’t deliver on exactly that.