The Ones You Didn’t Burn (2022) – Flaming Outdoors

Over on Soda & Telepaths, it’s the second entry in the Night Of Horror series of reviews and this time it’s slow burn The Ones You Didn’t Burn… kind of ironic that a movie called The Ones You Didn’t Burn would end up being a slow burn but hey, that’s what happened

The Goldsmith (2022) – Eye Catching

So, over on Soda and Telepaths I’m reviewing entries for the upcoming film festival A Night Of Horror and will be slowly going through them before the actual festival happens. So feel free to go read my first one for the foreign film entry The Goldsmith and, if you’re in Sydney, maybe also get tickets to the festival because there’s nothing quite like a good film festival.

Blonde (2022) – Some Like It Not

Released: 28th September
Seen: 28th September

Blonde Info

When you think about pop culture for long enough, inevitably you think about Marilyn Monroe. Her image, the perfect blonde hair and baby doll voice are iconic on a level that is practically impossible to describe. Her image is so well known that every female celebrity will, at some point, try to emulate it for a photoshoot. She’s a Halloween costume, a glossy image that has become a shorthand for fame and glamour… she’s also a woman who lived a life that was full of tragic moments that the public never knew about, or maybe they didn’t want to know. Slowly as time goes on, we’ve looked back on the life of Norma Jeane and learned more and more about the pain that hid behind the glamour. For years people have tried again and again to tell her story in many assorted ways, which leads us to Blonde… possibly the most exploitative version of the story ever told.

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Do Revenge (2022) – Vengeance Is Mine

Released: 16th September
Seen: 25th September

Do Revenge Info

Back in the 90s, there was this strange but glorious trend going on with teen comedies where they would take a classic work and throw it into a high school. The Taming of the Shrew would turn into 10 Things I Hate About You, Dangerous Liaisons turned into Cruel Intentions and Pygmalion became She’s All That just to name a few of the more well-known ones that became high points for that 90s teen movie craze that a lot of people look back on with some genuine fondness. There’s enough fondness that now the people who grew up on that genre of film are getting to have their own chance to revive it and while this can sometimes lead to some bland uninteresting retreads like He’s All That, other times it can create glorious pieces of joyful throwback fun like Do Revenge.

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The Anthrax Attacks (2022) – Important & Informative

Released: 8th September
Seen: 22nd September

Twenty-one years ago, the world was rocked to its core by the September 11th attacks. The horrific image of those towers coming down is burned into the memory of everyone who was alive at that time, it felt like a moment that would change the world and it’s fair to say that it did. What’s seemingly less well remembered, or at least less talked about, is that a week after September 11th a bunch of letters containing anthrax were mailed to multiple news outlets with a handwritten note. This was followed by several more letters to newspapers, networks and sitting senators that contained the deadly anthrax spores. In total 5 people died and 17 more were infected by the disease and the story of the investigation which took the better part of a decade makes for a pretty good documentary.

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Pinocchio (2022) – Wooden

Released: 8th September
Seen: 18th September

Pinocchio Info

In 1940, high off the release of the first feature-length animated motion picture, Disney released Pinocchio. While we look back on Pinocchio as an absolute classic that would eventually be a box office success upon its 1945 re-release, the original release was a complete flop thanks to being released during WW2 which cut off several major markets. Since then, Pinocchio has become an absolute staple of the Disney company, Jiminy Cricket was basically a secondary mascot for a period of time considering how many specials he turned up in and the song “When You Wish Upon A Star” not only became the first Disney song to win an Oscar but became the Disney theme song. This film has been a core moment of pop culture that still resonates in some form… and because we are living in a time where Disney must remake every one of their classic films, we have another D-make and it’s just kind of bland.

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Pussy Cake (2022) – Goopy Goodness

Seen at the Sydney Underground Film Festival

Pussy Cake Info

In Argentina, the title of this film is Emesis. Emesis, for those who aren’t wanting to google or don’t know this off the top of your head, is another word for vomiting. This title genuinely suits the film as there is a considerable amount of vomiting going on. It also brings up images of sickness, perfect for a movie about a mysterious otherworldly plague. Emesis is the kind of odd but intelligent title that could really work well when placed alongside a disturbing film like this… or we could just rename it Pussy Cake for the English-speaking audiences because Pussy Cake is a goddamn amazing title that might not mean a damn thing but it’s fun to say.

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Dual (2022) – Deadpan Double

Seen at the Sydney Underground Film Festival

One of the most fascinating kinds of film is the twin film, a movie where one actor is tasked with playing 2 or more roles. There’s always just something exciting about seeing one actor trying to give off performances that are distinct enough that we can tell who is who while also looking identical. This is the kind of thing that’s been done for years, like any time they revive The Parent Trap or in something as recent as this year’s Samaritan where there needed to be two versions of Stallone in order to pull off the dramatic twist in the final act. It’s a great tool that, if used well, can make for something genuinely amazing… or at very least it can be a great display for the actor taking on the multiple roles.

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Swallowed (2022) – Slimy Yet Satisfying

Seen at the Sydney Underground Film Festival

Swallowed Info

When it comes to queer representation in cinema, we’ve come pretty far in recent years by having some pretty mainstream movies throw in some form of representation. Sure it’s been minimal, like the 3-second lesbian kiss in Lightyear that sent everyone insane for a month or when a rock monster was revealed to have two dads but still, it happened. It’s fun to see gay characters popping up and more queer storylines in general… even when they turn up in dark horror/thrillers about drug trafficking, still fun to see.

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