“Wuthering Heights” (2026) – Too Hot, Too Greedy

Released: 12th February
Seen: 3rd May

In 1847, Emily Brontë released her first and only novel, Wuthering Heights, under the pen name Ellis Bell,. The story has gone on to be considered a classic, a gothic tragedy that has been told countless times since then. It’s inspired plays, operas, TV and film adaptations and of course the first single by the iconic Kate Bush. It’s also one of those books I haven’t had a chance to read yet so if you’re hoping to find out if this is an accurate adaptation, I’m not the man for that. I am pretty confident that this film is not the most faithful adaptation ever, but it’s also not trying to be faithful and if you meet it on the level it’s working at you might find there’s something interesting here.

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Dolly (2026) – Hello, Dolly

Released: 12th March
Seen: 3rd May

The 80s horror boom is something that still fascinates people, it was a true golden age of horror films where everyone was making truly glorious, insane shit that would end up becoming cult hits. Part of the reason this was possible was the rise of consumer video equipment, film cameras that used to be prohibitively expensive or the stuff of hobbyists could now be bought by just about anyone. You didn’t even need decent quality film, you could make an entire movie using nothing but VHS tapes and it could be released to video stores where people would actually watch it. People made some gloriously messed-up films back then, films that would’ve never made it past any studio producer with any sense of human decency. It’s that glorious period of cinema that feels closest to what Dolly is trying to do and it nails what it’s aiming for.

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Apex (2026) – High Climber

Released: 24th April
Seen: 26th April

The Ozploitation genre used to be truly great. Back in the 70s and 80s, Australia made absolutely batshit genre films that utilised the outback landscape (and a few stereotypes about Australians) to create some genuinely amazing films. Razorback, Patrick, Long Weekend and a whole bunch more weird horror films set Down Under were a great part of the underground cinema of the day… and then they kind of became rare birds, the truly wild days where we could just throw a few people into the middle of nowhere and make a film are rare to say the least. It’s a film style that really should make a comeback, but until then, I will happily take Apex, Netflix’s high-budget imitation brand version of a cheesy Ozploitation film, even if it does have a lot fewer Aussies involved than one might like.

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Thrash (2026) – Fishy

Released: 10th April
Seen: 16th April

In 1975 Steven Spielberg changed the world of cinema forever by introducing the world to a shark named Bruce in the movie Jaws. Jaws was the original summer blockbuster, proving that action spectacle done well can be a massive hit at the box office. It’s also the quintessential shark movie, laying a blueprint for all other movies about sharks that would inevitably follow over the years. Shark movies are kind of ubiquitous at this point, every year there’s at least a couple and they can range from being surprisingly good to absolute dog shit, from serious to goofy. Then you get a film like Thrash which seems to be trying to see just how many kinds of shark movie it can copy during its runtime but just ends up making for a film that’s at best just kind of OK.

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Primate (2026) – Monkey Business

Released: 22nd January
Seen: 14th April

On Feb 16th 2009, a chimpanzee named Travis mauled a woman. Travis was owned by Sandra Herald and on this day he was acting oddly, including stealing Sandra’s car keys and refusing to stay inside the house. Sandra asked her friend Charla to help get Travis inside, using his favourite toy as bait to try and lure him… Travis would end up disfiguring Charla, tearing off her face, destroying limbs and leaving her blind for life. He would be shot 4 times by police officers and still somehow had the strength to walk to his enclosure where he died. Charla would need extensive surgery, including a face transplant but she is still currently alive. This event really was a moment where a lot of people realised that chimpanzees could be incredibly violent and do a lot of damage to the human body… naturally this means a horror movie was kind of inevitable and damn, Primate is brutal in the exact way you would kind of want a movie like this to be (and yes, we can enjoy a film that does a fictional take on a real horror like the one that I just described, if we couldn’t then we just couldn’t enjoy films in general)

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28 Years Later: The Bone Temple (2026) – Bonkers

Released: 15th January
Seen: 1st April

28 Years Later was genuinely one of the best additions to the zombie movie genre in recent years, a visual treat filled with some of the most purely horrifying imagery. It was an absolutely great entry into the 28 Days Later franchise that promised to be the start of its own little trilogy, continuing the post-apocalyptic story by pushing it into a bold new direction. Well, if 28 Years Later was this franchise swinging for the fences, then 28 Years Later: The Bone Temple loads the franchise into a catapult and throws it over the fences with absolute fucking glee while doing so.

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Twisted (2026) – Uninspired

Released: 6th February
Seen: 1st April

The label Torture Porn was first used around 2006 when it was applied to films like Saw, Hostel and Wolf Creek. It was an easy way to describe some of the more extreme horror-slasher films of the era that almost revelled in how much gore they could get away with showing. They were some of the most extreme films in the genre that were also major hits in the mainstream cinemas and kind of opened a floodgate that we’re still dealing with. One of the people whose films first got this label, who really just seems to have embraced it in the years since, is the director of Saw 2-4 Darren Lynn Bousman, who used to be really good at making these films… but sadly, Twisted is far from his best work.

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Fackham Hall (2026) – Hilarious

Released: 19th February
Seen: 30th March

From 2010 until 2015, Downton Abbey was a mainstay of the television landscape. It was a cultural phenomenon that absolutely drowned in awards from all directions and is one of the rare TV series that would get to continue after its cancellation in the world of Feature Films. It could be suggested that without Downton Abbey being such a massive hit, we might not have series like Bridgerton or The Crown. It effectively started a wave of historical British dramas focused largely on the upper class that could live in lavish houses and only see a poor person whenever a servant was needed to clear out a chamber pot. Basically it’s the kind of genre that has been almost begging to have the almighty piss taken out of it for quite some time and with Fackham Hall, someone finally came along to do exactly that.

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1000 Women In Horror (2026) – Edifying

Released: 20th March
Seen: 29th March

Nowadays, it feels like talking about representation in the media is a touchy subject. Not because we aren’t doing enough (we’re not) or because the representation isn’t good (it could be better but we’re working on it) but because even talking about how cinema can represent a minority group of any form tends to make the morons who think DEI is a bad thing lose their fucking minds. Those morons are probably the ones who need the education that could be provided by a film like 1000 Women In Horror but they’re also the least likely to see it which is a shame because it’s quite good.

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I’m Chevy Chase And You’re Not (2026) – LIVE

Released: 1st January
Seen: 28th March

There are some things in life that are just undeniably true. The sky is blue, water is wet, Chevy Chase is a massive asshole. These things are facts that one cannot reasonably argue with anyone. That last one is a truth that people have really known for over 50 years, since his first appearance on TV the easy way to describe Chevy has been “Asshole”, for a period of time you might even put the word “Lovable” before “Asshole” but the general consensus has always been that Chevy Chase is an asshole… but what if there was more to him than just being a legendary entertainment asshole? Well, that’s what the documentary I’m Chevy Chase And You’re Not hopes to prove… if only its main subject would stop getting in the way.

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