A Real Pain (2024) – Hauntingly Hilarious

Released: 26th December 2024
Seen: 24th Feburary 2025

“Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it” is a phrase that we really need to say more often nowadays because it feels like people have chosen to intentionally not remember the past and are actively trying to repeat it. One of the things from our past that it feels like we’re currently getting a bit of a refresher course on is the horrors of Nazi Germany, because for some reason we thought that could only happen in Germany. It was a true horror, one that people have tried to ensure they never forget for nearly 100 years and this includes people making trips to the actual camps so they can get a better sense of what their ancestors went through. This is the kind of trip that should be an emotional one that’s designed to connect people with their history but it’s become something of a commercial venture and that strange feeling is the subject of A Real Pain which is a really fascinating experience.

Continue reading “A Real Pain (2024) – Hauntingly Hilarious”

Better Man (2024) – A Different Man

Released: 26th December 2024
Seen: 24th February 2025

Biopics in general have never been my thing, mostly because they’re pretty much all the same. A performer gets famous, does a lot of drugs, pisses off a lot of people before finally pulling through and becoming the superstar that was worthy of making a biopic about. It’s all the same and only ever becomes interesting based on the lead actor’s performance. It’s such a predictable formula you can almost guess what song will be performed after each drug-taking montage if you know enough of the main musician’s hit songs. The only biopic in recent memory that was actually good enough to make me enjoy it would be Rocketman which took the life of Elton John and turned it into a lavish musical that ignored the constraints of linear time to present the story of Elton’s life. I’ve been genuinely waiting for someone to look at that movie and steal what made it work to see if it could be replicated, imagine my surprise when Take That bad boy Robbie Williams did that exact thing and threw in a CGI monkey just for the fucking hell of it.

Continue reading “Better Man (2024) – A Different Man”

Anora (2024) – Anora-ble

Released: 26th December 2024
Seen: 22nd February 2025

When it comes to film, stories about sex workers are often played badly. Be they stories about strippers, porn stars or escorts there’s always this vibe that the person doing the sex work (usually a woman, let’s be honest) requires saving from the industry. She might be tough but she’s also a damsel in distress who is only doing this job because she has no choice. Recently there have been some films that are at least trying to improve how they portray people in that industry, films like Hustlers make them into a charming gaggle of powerful women who control their destinies, films like X or Maxxxine present porn stars as whole beings (albeit beings that end up being victims of killers but still, they’re people who deserve dignity) and then there’s Anora. One of the big Oscar darlings of the year with 6 nominations, Anora presents a sex worker with rough edges who is still a human being that doesn’t deserve the shit she’s put through and it’s a wildly fascinating time.

Continue reading “Anora (2024) – Anora-ble”

Captain America: Brave New World (2025) – Brave And The Bold Choice

Released: 13th February
Seen: 16th February

In 2018, Thanos snapped his fingers and destroyed half of the universe. By doing so, he simultaneously created a point we could mark as the peak of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. With the gift of time, we can pretty much state that Phase Three (AKA the era between Captain America: Civil War and Spider-Man: Far From Home) has been the best phase of the MCU, but its absolute peak can pretty much be pinpointed to Infinity War and Endgame, two films that felt like the end of a cinematic crescendo that had been building for a decade up to that point. They were great movies, truly proof of what this genre could be like at its absolute best and probably one of the dumbest moves that Marvel made in terms of story because the problem is that once you hit a high like that, what happens afterwards?

Continue reading “Captain America: Brave New World (2025) – Brave And The Bold Choice”

Maria (2025) – Ave Maria

Released: 30th January
Seen: 15th February

The world of opera is one that this reviewer is not exactly well versed in, to put it mildly. The number of operas that I’ve seen could be counted on one hand and it’s literally only the Jerry Springer Opera so it’s not like that counts for anything. This is to say that I, and possibly most non-Opera fans, have no idea who Maria Callas is or what about her would make her such an important figure to be worthy of a biopic. Sure you can take a look at her Wikipedia and see her referred to as “The Bible of Opera” but without knowing her it means you effectively have to go in blind and learn about her as the film progresses… on some levels, Maria is a fascinating way to get to know this performer and makes you want to know even more. On other levels, it makes it hard to get to know this woman.

Continue reading “Maria (2025) – Ave Maria”

Alien: Romulus (2024) – Shocker

Released: 16th August 2024
Seen: 9th February 2025

Alien Romulus Info

2017 is the last year that we had a new instalment of the Alien franchise, a film that made about 250 million worldwide but didn’t get the best critical reception. It still made money and still had its fans (I counted myself among them at the time of its release) so it was almost inevitable that we would get another sequel where another group of people would happen upon a xenomorph colony and get their shit fucked up by the iconic acid-blooded creatures. Sure enough last year we got such a film with Alien: Romulus, the 7th entry in the long-running franchise which dared to ask the question “What if a bunch of people found the original ship from Alien and there were still aliens on it who would like to face fuck them all to death?”.., an important question that the film deftly answers.

Continue reading “Alien: Romulus (2024) – Shocker”

Nosferatu (2025) – A Symphony Of Brilliance

Released: 1st January
Seen: 3rd February

The 1922 film Nosferatu: A Symphony Of Horror feels like some kind of miracle, namely that we still have access to the film at all. Made in Germany as an unofficial adaptation of the Dracula novel, the original film was the subject of a copyright lawsuit brought on by Bram Stroker’s widow and all copies were supposed to be destroyed by fire. Somehow, a few copies of the film managed to survive and would soon be circulated around the world where it would become not only a cinematic classic but one of the most influential horror films of all time. People have referenced Nosferatu for almost a century now, the infamous shot of Count Orlock’s shadow against the wall with his fingers stretched out alone has been copied by more films than one would dare count and so many vampire films have copied the visual appearance of Count Orlok to some degree. It’s a film that has influenced many and even been the subject of a few remakes, including this remake by Robert Eggers which manages to take the classic material and elevate it in a way only Eggers can.

Continue reading “Nosferatu (2025) – A Symphony Of Brilliance”

A Different Man (2024) – A Better Man

Released: 24th October 2024
Seen: 2nd Feburary 2025

Every year that I’ve done this blog, there’s this weird little period around February-March where I go back to the year before and review a few films I missed just because they got nominated for Oscars. It’s always a little odd because sometimes I’ll stumble on a movie that should’ve been on the best list or maybe get some context for a cinematic trend that wasn’t quite making sense or even just have to ask “Why is this film only nominated in one category”. A Different Man was only nominated for a single Oscar this year – for Makeup and Hairstyling – but having gotten the chance to watch it, it feels genuinely stunning that it wasn’t in more though it’s also probably going to play a role in its lead actor’s chances of an award this year.

Continue reading “A Different Man (2024) – A Better Man”

Conclave (2025) – Oh Lord

Released: 9th January
Seen: 2nd February

When a pope dies there is a process that has to be done in order to select a new pope known as a Papal Conclave. The basic idea is that all eligible cardinals come to Rome where they are sequestered in a large room and vote on the next pope. They do this repeatedly over and over again until someone has a two-thirds majority and then they become the new pope. The cardinals are not meant to interact with the outside world during this process and each time a vote happens the votes are burned and the colour of the smoke tells the outside world that there’s a new pope. This feels like the kind of thing that was meant to be turned into a political thriller and thanks to Conclave it has been… it’s good, it’s very good, honestly, there’s not much more that can be said than that but I’ll try.

Continue reading “Conclave (2025) – Oh Lord”

The Apprentice (2024) – Dump Trump

Released: 10th October 2024
Seen: 28th January 2025

Donald Trump is one of the worst human beings ever to set foot on planet Earth. He’s a racist, a sexist, a bigot, a fascist, a probable tax cheat, an adjudicated sexual abuser (I want to call him a rapist but apparently you can’t call him that because, according to the civil suit, he only forcibly penetrated E Jean Carol with his fingers and not his penis so we’re going to stick with sexual abuse), a man responsible for the spread of so much covid misinformation that we will never be able to put an end to that disease even though we had the tools to stop it and that’s just referring to the stuff he’s done in the last 5 years. History books are going to write about this man in the same tones that we now talk about a certain German man who also had a really shitty hairstyle… but unfortunately for all of us, this absolute scumbag piece of shit got to be president because enough idiots fell for his scam which means his life actually has historical importance and so, like a lot of other presidents before him, Donald Trump gets to have his own biopic… fortunately, it’s a biopic that shows him for what he is: SCUM! (and yes, I put this up the top of the review because if this paragraph upsets you because of me insulting Trump, the film is going to do worse so you are warned… you’re welcome)

Continue reading “The Apprentice (2024) – Dump Trump”