Spider-man: Homecoming

Seen 6th July

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First we had Tobey Maguire donning the infamous red suit for three movies in the early 2000’s. When he became unavailable the franchise rebooted and the suit went over to Andrew Garfield for the 2012 reboot The Amazing Spider-Man. Then this time, I’m guessing because having a guy pushing 30 playing a high schooler is creepy, they grabbed Tom Holland to try on the tights. Can we keep him? I like this one.

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Baby Driver

Seen 5th June

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Edgar Wright has been somewhat of a miracle of cinema since he burst through the door with Shaun of the Dead. He’s a man who knows what he want’s to make and always had a way of selling his work. From Shaun to Hot Fuzz to Scott Pilgrim, time and time again Edgar proved to everyone that he knew his stuff. Edgar has never made anything quite as perfect as Baby Driver.

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Transformers: The Last Knight

Seen 3rd July

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In the 2004 film Team America Matt Stone and Trey Parker posed a very simple question, “Why does Michael Bay get to keep on making movies?”. They were referring to Pearl Harbor, A film where Michael Bay decided to turn one of the worst attacks on America into a love story. Well, good news, Michael Bay is no longer desecrating American history… he’s moved on to desecrating the entire planet’s history, science, logic, basic movie making and humanity in general.

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The Mummy (2017)

Seen June 26th

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In 1932, Boris Karloff brought us “The Mummy”, one of the classic Universal movie monsters that reigned for a large part of the early period of cinema between the 20’s and the 50’s

In 1999, Brendan Fraser appeared in “The Mummy”, one of the most enjoyable films of the 90’s and one of the few remakes that is at least as enjoyable at the original.

Then in 2017 Tom Cruise appeared in “The Mummy”… it was a movie.

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Wonder Woman

Seen June 15th

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For as long as I can remember, there have been talks about a Wonder Woman movie. There were talks of TV series pilots, including the infamous NBC pilot that basically turned Wonder Woman into a sociopath who didn’t care about anyone or anything other than the size of the tits on her action figure (And god do I wish I was kidding about that). At one point Joss Whedon was going to handle the movie but that didn’t pan out. Basically for pretty much my entire life there was only one live action Wonder Woman who went by the name of Lynda Carter, as far as I’m aware she is the only person to play the part on film… until Gal Gadot came around, and thank Zeus that she turned up when she did.

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Baywatch

Seen May 28th

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Adapting TV shows into feature length films is not easy. Simpsons, 21 Jump Street, Barney’s Great Adventure, many shows have made the leap from the small to the big screen with varying degree’s of success. They often take one of 3 options when it comes to storytelling

1) 3 Episodes of the TV show sewn together ass-to-mouth
2) A super long episode of the TV series
3) An actual movie that doesn’t rely on you knowing the source material in order to enjoy it

Baywatch picked option 3 and… well… it doesn’t outright suck.

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