A Real Pain (2024) – Hauntingly Hilarious

Released: 26th December 2024
Seen: 24th Feburary 2025

“Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it” is a phrase that we really need to say more often nowadays because it feels like people have chosen to intentionally not remember the past and are actively trying to repeat it. One of the things from our past that it feels like we’re currently getting a bit of a refresher course on is the horrors of Nazi Germany, because for some reason we thought that could only happen in Germany. It was a true horror, one that people have tried to ensure they never forget for nearly 100 years and this includes people making trips to the actual camps so they can get a better sense of what their ancestors went through. This is the kind of trip that should be an emotional one that’s designed to connect people with their history but it’s become something of a commercial venture and that strange feeling is the subject of A Real Pain which is a really fascinating experience.

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Anora (2024) – Anora-ble

Released: 26th December 2024
Seen: 22nd February 2025

When it comes to film, stories about sex workers are often played badly. Be they stories about strippers, porn stars or escorts there’s always this vibe that the person doing the sex work (usually a woman, let’s be honest) requires saving from the industry. She might be tough but she’s also a damsel in distress who is only doing this job because she has no choice. Recently there have been some films that are at least trying to improve how they portray people in that industry, films like Hustlers make them into a charming gaggle of powerful women who control their destinies, films like X or Maxxxine present porn stars as whole beings (albeit beings that end up being victims of killers but still, they’re people who deserve dignity) and then there’s Anora. One of the big Oscar darlings of the year with 6 nominations, Anora presents a sex worker with rough edges who is still a human being that doesn’t deserve the shit she’s put through and it’s a wildly fascinating time.

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Maria (2025) – Ave Maria

Released: 30th January
Seen: 15th February

The world of opera is one that this reviewer is not exactly well versed in, to put it mildly. The number of operas that I’ve seen could be counted on one hand and it’s literally only the Jerry Springer Opera so it’s not like that counts for anything. This is to say that I, and possibly most non-Opera fans, have no idea who Maria Callas is or what about her would make her such an important figure to be worthy of a biopic. Sure you can take a look at her Wikipedia and see her referred to as “The Bible of Opera” but without knowing her it means you effectively have to go in blind and learn about her as the film progresses… on some levels, Maria is a fascinating way to get to know this performer and makes you want to know even more. On other levels, it makes it hard to get to know this woman.

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A Different Man (2024) – A Better Man

Released: 24th October 2024
Seen: 2nd Feburary 2025

Every year that I’ve done this blog, there’s this weird little period around February-March where I go back to the year before and review a few films I missed just because they got nominated for Oscars. It’s always a little odd because sometimes I’ll stumble on a movie that should’ve been on the best list or maybe get some context for a cinematic trend that wasn’t quite making sense or even just have to ask “Why is this film only nominated in one category”. A Different Man was only nominated for a single Oscar this year – for Makeup and Hairstyling – but having gotten the chance to watch it, it feels genuinely stunning that it wasn’t in more though it’s also probably going to play a role in its lead actor’s chances of an award this year.

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Conclave (2025) – Oh Lord

Released: 9th January
Seen: 2nd February

When a pope dies there is a process that has to be done in order to select a new pope known as a Papal Conclave. The basic idea is that all eligible cardinals come to Rome where they are sequestered in a large room and vote on the next pope. They do this repeatedly over and over again until someone has a two-thirds majority and then they become the new pope. The cardinals are not meant to interact with the outside world during this process and each time a vote happens the votes are burned and the colour of the smoke tells the outside world that there’s a new pope. This feels like the kind of thing that was meant to be turned into a political thriller and thanks to Conclave it has been… it’s good, it’s very good, honestly, there’s not much more that can be said than that but I’ll try.

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The Apprentice (2024) – Dump Trump

Released: 10th October 2024
Seen: 28th January 2025

Donald Trump is one of the worst human beings ever to set foot on planet Earth. He’s a racist, a sexist, a bigot, a fascist, a probable tax cheat, an adjudicated sexual abuser (I want to call him a rapist but apparently you can’t call him that because, according to the civil suit, he only forcibly penetrated E Jean Carol with his fingers and not his penis so we’re going to stick with sexual abuse), a man responsible for the spread of so much covid misinformation that we will never be able to put an end to that disease even though we had the tools to stop it and that’s just referring to the stuff he’s done in the last 5 years. History books are going to write about this man in the same tones that we now talk about a certain German man who also had a really shitty hairstyle… but unfortunately for all of us, this absolute scumbag piece of shit got to be president because enough idiots fell for his scam which means his life actually has historical importance and so, like a lot of other presidents before him, Donald Trump gets to have his own biopic… fortunately, it’s a biopic that shows him for what he is: SCUM! (and yes, I put this up the top of the review because if this paragraph upsets you because of me insulting Trump, the film is going to do worse so you are warned… you’re welcome)

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Emilia Pérez (2025) – Oscar Bait

Released: 16th January
Seen: 26th January

Throughout my time writing this blog, I have made a point to champion when a film presents a minority group in its narrative – even if the film itself is not particularly great, it still deserves praise for breaking the mould and showing people as they are. This has been particularly notable when it comes to a film that presents members of the LGBTQ+ community since, as a member of the G part of that acronym, it’s nice to see those in your social group represented. Even subpar representation is still, on some level, representation and deserves to be brought up. It also feels important to bring this up in regards to films that are getting Awards nominations, particularly at the Oscars who have a bad history related to this. Enter this year’s biggest Oscar nominee Emilia Pérez which might be the most high-profile story about a trans woman in cinema this year… and sadly it’s just not a good film, to the point that it’s baffling that it’s become this awards darling.

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The Substance (2024) – Substantially Brilliant

Released: 19th September
Seen: 19th October

In April 2015, the show Inside Amy Schumer aired an episode titled “Last Fuckable Day” which contained a sketch featuring Amy alongside iconic actresses Tina Fey, Julia-Louis Dreyfus and Patricia Arquette. In the sketch Amy comes upon Tina, Julia and Patricia celebrating Julia’s Last Fuckable Day, the day that an actress goes from being considered fuckable to just being considered an elderly woman reserved for mother roles. It’s a hilarious and scathing indictment of the very real agist sexism that pervades the entertainment industry and how it treats women. Over the years there’s been several ways to talk about the culture’s obsession with looks, youth and fuckability in the media. Still, for the longest time the strongest indictment I saw came from this silly mid-2010’s sketch comedy series… and now we have The Substance, proving that horror is still the best genre for exploring complex concepts like this.

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In A Violent Nature (2024) – Follow Friday

Released: 1st August
Seen: 3rd August

2009 is the last year that we got a Friday the 13th film in theaters. This franchise dominated the 80s and created an icon of horror cinema but has been dormant for 15 years. 15 years without an entry in a franchise known for being cheap to make and an almost certain bet at the box office is insane. The only thing that we’ve had from this franchise in that time has been a couple of fan films and a video game in 2017. That video game was an asymmetrical game where one player got to be Jason while everyone else played counselors and that design choice left the people making the game with a bit of a dilemma. 

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Inside Out 2 (2024) – Deep Thoughts

Released: 13th June
Seen: 30th June

In 2015 Pixar released Inside Out, a fascinating film that explained the complex concept of emotions in a funny, heartwarming way and was incredibly accessible for people to understand. In my humble opinion, it’s also the best thing that Pixar has put out that didn’t include Woody or Buzz Lightyear. It was truly a miracle of a film that has some of the most beautiful imagery and emotional beats (Seriously, you want to make me cry like a baby in under 10 seconds? Just start singing “Who’s your friend who likes to play?” and I’ll lose my damn mind). It was about as close to perfect as you could get from the Pixar people and it made so much money that it was inevitable a sequel would happen. It took almost a full decade for them to make it happen but now we finally have our follow-up to the emotional rollercoaster that was Inside Out and fortunately, Inside Out 2 manages to live up to the expectations that were set for it.

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