Snow White (2025) – Rotting Apple

Released: 20th March
Seen: 26th June

It’s hard to describe how much the world changed on December 21st, 1937, when Walt Disney premiered his feature-length animated film Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. Up to that point, no one thought it was possible; movies were still a young medium at that point, but animated cartoons were meant to just be small things put at the front of the proper movie, never the actual main event. Disney changed all that and created an entire genre of cinema. The original Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs is an undeniable classic, even without the historical relevance that comes with being the first of its kind; it’s also just a fantastic film with songs that we still hum to this day and some of the most iconic characters in the animated medium. It’s one of those retellings that redefined the original story. When you think of the story of Snow White there’s a good chance you think of the Disney version, you almost certainly revert to the names Doc, Sneezy, Grumpy, Bashful, Happy, Sleepy and Dopey for the dwarfs. It’s a piece of cinematic history that we should respect… and by “We” I mean “Disney” because based on what they did with the 2025 remake, I don’t think they respect their own history at all.

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A Minecraft Movie (2025) – Loading…

Released: 3rd April
Seen: 22nd June

Is there even any point to doing this? No, seriously, was there any point for any reviewer to even consider touching this movie? Sure, I’m reviewing it several months after it was a phenomenon, largely because there is no way in hell I was going to be in a cinema while a bunch of people went insane for a zombie jockey on a chicken, but even when it was just coming out, what was the point of reviewing it? A movie based on Minecraft is one of those things that’s almost certainly never going to be some kind of critical darling but no matter what it was going to make a shitload of money. Not only did it end up doing that (Currently it’s the highest grossing film of the goddamn year) but it ended up being responsible for the trashing of several cinemas when audiences forgot how to watch a damn movie and lost their minds during a scene where a zombie boy rides a chicken. A Minecraft Movie is review-proof, there is no point… except that I saw it and I just have to ask, am I old now? Am I too old for this? Have I aged out of stupid childish trash? No, it’s the children who are wrong.

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Elio (2025) – Space!

Released: 19th June
Seen: 23rd June

Original movies are becoming something of a rarity these days, either relegated to the indie circuit or they have to be made by some well-known auteur who has enough cache to get his weird original concepts past the studio system. Look at the top 10 highest-grossing films of this year, with the notable exception of Sinners, they’re all either sequels, remakes or based on a very well-known piece of IP. It’s a sad reality that audiences just aren’t going to see original films at the rate that they used to. There could be many reasons for this, a run on effect of higher theatre ticket prices meaning people want as close to a sure bet as they can get, part of the post-Covid era issues, it could be related to the rise of streaming or the saturation of the market or it could even just be a horrible self fulfilling prophecy where the big studios don’t advertise their original films that well so people don’t know about them. Case in point, did you know there was a brand new original Pixar film in cinemas right now that’s not a sequel to Toy Story or any of their other classics and that it’s also deliriously charming? Well, now you do.

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We Live In Time (2025) – Pause

Released: 16th January
Seen: 17th June

Sometimes a film doesn’t really need a great script, fancy camera tricks or an insane amount of special effects in order to be enjoyable. Sometimes, all a film needs in order to captivate an audience is a good central cast who can carry it through. Throughout history, there are endless numbers of films made almost entirely because one or two lead actors signed on and used their star power to push it into creation, one such example is What Ever Happened to Baby Jane? which basically exists because Bette Davis knew a film with her and Joan Crawford would be amazing. The combination of leads can create a truly special thing that will stand the test of time… and sometimes it can just be a pretty decent experience with a great pair of lead performances. 

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One Of Them Days (2025) – Best Buds

Released: 6th March
Seen: 16th June

The buddy comedy is a staple of cinema that has created absolute legends of the genre. Laurel & Hardy, Abbott & Costello, Cheech & Chong, some truly iconic comedy pairings have been the backbone of this genre. It’s a genre that lives and dies on the chemistry of the two leads; a truly great comedic pairing can make any film work even if the script isn’t that good. Entire careers have been made just from how good a couple of actors bounce off each other. It’s a tricky thing to make work, but when the stars align, you can get something pretty special. In One Of Them Days, we get to introduce the new comedic coupling of Keke Palmer and Sza, a double act that I don’t think anyone really would’ve expected to happen, but now that it exists, it’s actually pretty amazing to behold.

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Love Hurts (2025) – Painful

Released: 6th February
Seen: 31st May

It’s always kind of fascinating to see what film an Oscar winner chooses as their big follow up, the movie they put themselves front and centre for that can basically be advertised with the phrase “Starring Oscar Winner”. Sometimes it can be an important personal work of art that the actor managed to finally get produced because they have an Oscar to their name, sometimes it’s a fun romp that shows they have a wide range outside of the film that got them the award in the first place… sadly, often times, the big follow up to an Oscar-winning performance is a massive dud that feels like it’s wasting it’s big star. Love Hurts does something really impressive in that it feels like it’s wasting two Oscar winners and that’s the only impressive thing it does for its entire runtime.

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Locked (2025) – Open Up

Released: 21st March
Seen: 30th May

A kind of story that we just don’t get enough of in cinema nowadays is “Person confined in a single space we almost never leave” Buried is a pretty great example of this kind of film, a film that takes place entirely in the confines of a coffin with someone buried alive inside it. It’s a deceptively simple idea but works really well in practice. It’s also remarkably cheap, the biggest expense being the lead actor you put in the single location and if done well it can be truly spectacular. There are a lot of challenges that come with making a film about one character and a voice on the phone in a small isolated location, but it’s such a simple and effective setup that I’m always looking for more films with that basic scenario to see what they can do. Well, now we have a new one in the form of Locked and it has got some great elements but it also doesn’t seem to know what to do with all of them.

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