Glorious (2022) Is Quite Alright!

Originally posted on Soda & Telepaths September 3rd 2022

Glorious Plot

Wes (Ryan Kwanten) is having a bad day, to say the least. He’s just broken up with his girlfriend, Brenda (Sylvia Grace Crim) and in his frustration, he’s gone on a long drive and gotten unreasonably drunk at a rest stop that’s out in the middle of nowhere. After spending a few hours at the rest stop getting wasted, Wes needs to use the bathroom in the rest stop and so he gets into the only unoccupied stall.

After a while he begins talking to the mysterious person in the locked stall beside him, only to discover that the stall doesn’t have a person in it but a cosmic demigod known as Ghatanothoa (J.K. Simmons) who has brought Wes to this rest stop in order to ask for a favour, and to torment him with occasional visions of his past. 

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Holy Hell! Mad God is Unabashedly Fkd Up – And We Love It!

Originally posted on Soda & Telepaths June 22nd 2022

Mad God tells the dark and unsettling tale of a world that is on the brink of destruction, or maybe even well over that brink considering how cold and desolate it is. It’s a land filled with horrifying creatures everywhere you look and one man, known simply as The Assassin, must trek through it.

With nothing more than a disintegrating map and a suitcase bomb that will hopefully destroy the entire planet, The Assassin must make his way through the dark apocalyptic land in order to reach his destination where he can release the bomb and bring an end to the mad world that he inhabits.

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Living With Chucky (2023) – It’s A Living

Released: 24th April
Seen: 6th May

The Child’s Play series is one of the most fascinating horror franchises out there. Over 35 years there have been seven films, a TV series and a reboot to tell the story of a red-headed doll possessed by a serial killer (or in the reboot’s case, AI gone wrong) and for that entire time Chucky has somehow maintained a strange but cohesive story that runs throughout the franchise. It’s that rarest of series that carries the central cast and a large part of the crew for sequel after sequel. 

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Guardians Of The Galaxy Vol 3 (2023) – Out Of This World

Released: 3rd May
Seen: 3rd May

Guardians Of The Galaxy Vol 3

When it comes to the many franchises that make up the MCU, it’s arguable that one of the most surprising of them all is the Guardians of the Galaxy franchise. Based on one of the most obscure Marvel comics out there, the first Guardians movie took the MCU into space and, effectively, introduced the character Thanos to the franchise as an actual character in the narrative instead of as an end credits gag. The second Guardians movie somehow managed to be even better, funnier and more emotional with grander stakes that showed just what these characters were capable of. 

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Ghosted (2023) – Leave On Read

Released: 21st April
Seen: 24th April

Sometimes a film feels like it should be basically impossible to mess up, a combination of a great director, great writers and great actors that seems like at the bare minimum it should produce a piece of fun, harmless entertainment that’ll deliver on what it promises. Say you have the director of one of the best biopic films ever, gave him a film written by the people who wrote two major superhero franchise films and a pair of actors who have proven to have chemistry before who are also wildly popular and insanely talented. That sounds like a recipe for success, a surefire way to make something that’s at least on the surface level enjoyable… so what the hell went wrong with Ghostedyou to make it as dull as it is?

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Tetris (2023) – Fittingly Exciting

Released: 31st March
Seen: 22nd April

In 1985, back in the USSR, a man named Alexey Pajitnov was tasked with testing out a new piece of hardware to figure out what it was capable of. Of the many things he tried, one thing he did was make a game where a set of blocks fell from the sky in random shapes consisting of four squares and if you lined them up, those blocks would disappear. That game was called Tetris and for a game that is such a ubiquitous part of gaming, the story of how it ended up managing to be released outside the Soviet Union (that’s how long ago this was, Russia was still the Soviet Union at the time) is absolutely bonkers and told wonderfully in the movie Tetris… shame because I was hoping the Tetris movie would be an insane attempt to turn the actual game into a narrative but hey, a biopic works too.

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Evil Dead Rise (2023) – Groovy

Released: 20th April
Seen: 20th April

Evil Dead Rise Info

In 1979, Sam Raimi ran off into the forest with a bunch of his friends (including the chin-tastic Bruce Campbell) to make a feature length version of his short film Within The Woods. It was an insane idea made on a microbudget with effects that Sam made up on the fly, people got injured on set and for some reason they decided to strap a camera to a plank of wood and have two guys run through the swamp carrying it to get the shot. It was the kind of filmmaking that would make insurance agents weep and it ended up creating the 1981 film The Evil Dead.

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