Seen 4th July
Despicable Me as a series has become known more for it’s sentient tic-tac Minions than anything else. This movie clearly wanted to try and reverse that connection but gosh darn it those little pills of yellow just keep popping up.
Transformers: The Last Knight
Seen 3rd July
In the 2004 film Team America Matt Stone and Trey Parker posed a very simple question, “Why does Michael Bay get to keep on making movies?”. They were referring to Pearl Harbor, A film where Michael Bay decided to turn one of the worst attacks on America into a love story. Well, good news, Michael Bay is no longer desecrating American history… he’s moved on to desecrating the entire planet’s history, science, logic, basic movie making and humanity in general.
Wonder Woman
Seen June 15th
For as long as I can remember, there have been talks about a Wonder Woman movie. There were talks of TV series pilots, including the infamous NBC pilot that basically turned Wonder Woman into a sociopath who didn’t care about anyone or anything other than the size of the tits on her action figure (And god do I wish I was kidding about that). At one point Joss Whedon was going to handle the movie but that didn’t pan out. Basically for pretty much my entire life there was only one live action Wonder Woman who went by the name of Lynda Carter, as far as I’m aware she is the only person to play the part on film… until Gal Gadot came around, and thank Zeus that she turned up when she did.
Alien: Covenant
Seen May 12th
In space, no one can hear you scream. It’s probably one of the most iconic taglines in cinema history from one of the most iconic movie’s of all time. It’s sequel was just as iconic, some would dare to say it’s better than the original. It was followed by a few more sequels, then a couple of team ups, and then a weird semi-prequel called Prometheus… each of these films are not exactly remembered fondly. This is a standard problem in the horror genre, the first few movies are good but after a while the series gets bad. Alien: Convenant is one of those rarities… a sequel that’s about 6 films deep into a series that doesn’t suck!
Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2
Seen April 26th
You know how the first Guardian’s of the Galaxy was one of the most gloriously silly and out there Marvel Movies that they’d made up until that point? Well… yeah, still gloriously silly and out there, just not as out there as the first one felt.
Life
Seen March 31st
So… Aliens is a good movie. Hell, it’s a bonafide classic. I mean come on “Stay away from her you bitch”, the iconic table scene, Sigourney Weaver exists. It’s just a fantastic movie that’s an absolute horror staple for a reason. Life would love to be known as “Aliens 6” if it could.
Continue reading “Life”
