To Catch A Killer (2023) – Silence

IMPORTANT NOTE: This piece was written during the 2023 SAG-AFTRA strike. Without the labor of the actors currently on strike, the movies being covered here wouldn’t exist.

Released: 8th June
Seen: 10th October

Sometimes it’s really hard to figure out how to open one of these things, especially now that there’s a format that begins with “Rambling paragraph that provides some context for the film that’s about to be talked about”. The problem is that some films don’t really give themselves anything to work with because it’s so middle of the road that you might as well describe the method for which white lines are painted on the middle of the road. It’s also the hardest kind of review to write, trying to find a couple of hundred words to say “It’s fine I guess” That explains why it’s merely fine but also gives enough information that people who might still enjoy it will know about the film’s existence. Basically, this is going to be dull for all concerned but I saw it, it came out this year, therefore it gets written about so here are some thoughts about To Catch A Killer.

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Hypnotic (2023) – Sleep!

IMPORTANT NOTE: This piece was written during the 2023 SAG-AFTRA strike. Without the labor of the actors currently on strike, the movies being covered here wouldn’t exist.

Released: 11th May
Seen: 6th October

Robert Rodriguez is a fascinating creative force that’s been a mainstay in pop culture ever since the 90s. For over 30 years now he has been one of the few true auteur directors, a man who has his fingers in every element of the filmmaking process and making magic out of extremely low budgets. With films like From Dusk Till Dawn, Sin City, and the Spy Kids franchise under his belt, Robert Rodriguez’s name alone is enough to get people excited to see what he’s going to do. You would’ve thought his name attached to a Ben Affleck action film would’ve been something of a slam dunk, a creative director and one of the few true superstars of modern cinema together feels like it should be a combination designed for greatness… As it is, Hypnotic is just pretty OK.

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Saw X (2023) – Bloody Brilliant

IMPORTANT NOTE: This piece was written during the 2023 SAG-AFTRA strike. Without the labor of the actors currently on strike, the movies being covered here wouldn’t exist.

Released: 28th September
Seen: 28th September

Saw X Info

By the time a horror franchise hits the 10th film, it’s safe to say that things will be well off course. By the time Friday the 13th was 10 films deep, they sent Jason into space. By the time Halloween was 10 films deep, it was finishing up its first set of remakes. By the time Nightmare on Elm Street was 10 films deep… actually we don’t know because Nightmare never made it to 10 films, that’s how rare it is to make that many films in a horror franchise. So you can imagine the general nervous anticipation that was building up with the announcement of Saw X, a return to the original timeline of the franchise after the mild detours of Jigsaw and Spiral, which could’ve failed spectacularly but somehow it ended up being one of the best of the franchise.

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A Haunting In Venice (2023) – I Moustache A Question

IMPORTANT NOTE: This piece was written during the 2023 WGA and SAG-AFTRA strikes. Without the labor of the writers and actors currently on strike, the movies being covered here wouldn’t exist.

Released: 14th September
Seen: 20th September

Six years ago Kenneth Branaugh released Murder On The Orient Express, a surprise blockbuster murder mystery that showed there was still a lot of love for the classic murder mystery genre. Hell, it’s probably fair to say that without the success of Murder On The Orient Express we wouldn’t have seen Knives Out a few years later, Of course, because Murder On The Orient Express was such a huge hit, and there are over 40 assorted Hercule Poirot novels that could be adapted, naturally that meant a sequel which is why we got Death On The Nile last year. That film was not one that ended up being reviewed over here because of the Armie Hammer allegations which made the prospect of seeing it just a little bit depressing, and now definitely won’t be seeing it thanks to the Russell Brand allegations. Fortunately, Death On The Nile does not appear to be required viewing in order to follow A Haunting In Venice, if you even want to try and follow it.

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Haunted Mansion (2023) – Rich

IMPORTANT NOTE: This piece was written during the 2023 WGA and SAG-AFTRA strikes. Without the labor of the writers and actors currently on strike, the movies being covered here wouldn’t exist.

Released: 31st August
Seen: 21st September

Haunted Mansion Info

The Haunted Mansion is probably one of the most famous theme park attractions of all time. It’s so well known that even people who have never actually visited the park it’s built in at least know a few of its iconic visuals, like the ballroom full of ghosts or the elongating rooms. It’s such an iconic ride that it was inevitable that it’d inspire a movie and in 2003 it ended up doing so with The Haunted Mansion, a film that was certainly financially successful but was critically panned and not looked back on fondly by most (though it does have a cult following). The property would remain untouched in cinematic form for years until 2021 when the Muppets took a crack at it and, while their version only lasted a little under an hour, it was still well received by a lot of people and maybe gave Disney confidence they needed to really believe in another cinematic version of Haunted Mansion… and it’s a good thing they did because the new version is surprisingly good.

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Marlowe (2023) – Mar-no

IMPORTANT NOTE: This piece was written during the 2023 WGA and SAG-AFTRA strikes. Without the labor of the writers and actors currently on strike, the movies being covered here wouldn’t exist.

Released: 6th April
Seen: 11th September

Philip Marlowe started life as a character created in the 1920s, created by Raymond Chandler for a series of short stories that appeared in assorted magazines at the time. Before Raymond’s death in 1959 he would end up writing over half a dozen books about Philip Marlowe’s adventures, along with several short stories that would make up a few anthologies. The character was so popular that even after Raymond’s death there were books written by other authors, more and more detective stories about Marlowe have filled bookshelves over the years.

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The Ritual Killer (2023) – Dead Boring

IMPORTANT NOTE: This piece was written during the 2023 WGA and SAG-AFTRA strikes. Without the labor of the writers and actors currently on strike, the movies being covered here wouldn’t exist.

Released: 19th April
Seen: 9th September

The Ritual Killer INfo

I think it’s time to ask a very serious question… does Morgan Freeman owe someone money? Does the legendary five-time Oscar-nominated (and only one-time winner, somehow) who starred in such monster hits as The Shawshank Redemption and Bruce Almighty have a huge tax bill that he needs to pay off? It’s a question that feels like it needs to be asked because lately, it seems that every time he’s being seen on screen it’s in some low-budget piece of shit that shouldn’t exist, a piece of shit selling itself almost entirely on the fact that it stars Morgan Freeman. This is a man who deserves to only have to work when he wants to, when a project is good enough to be worthy of him… he shouldn’t have to take up a supporting role in The Ritual Killer to pay the bills!

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Missing (2023) – Found It

Released: 23rd February
Seen: 28th May

In 2018 a little film called Searching was released to an unsuspecting public. Now at the time we had a few films that used the “it’s happening on a computer screen” gimmick (also known as Screenlife) but none had used it quite as effectively as Searching did in order to tell a truly intense story of a kidnapping from the POV of a worried father trying to use technology in order to find his daughter. It was an undeniable hit, raking in about 75 million on a budget that was basically just a few go-pros and a pair of fairly well-known actors but with its creative presentation and twist-filled story, it managed to get enough attention that a franchise sprung forth. This is how we get the film Missing, a follow-up that proves that there is a lot more life left in this concept that can hopefully be explored.

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Knock At The Cabin (2023) – Choices

Released: 17th May
Seen: 23rd May

There is a trope in fiction known as “Bury Your Gays” which has become somewhat of a problem in certain pieces of media. The idea is depressingly simple, the idea being that there is a disproportionate number of gay characters dying, normally as a way to expand a straight character’s storyline. Now this doesn’t mean that you can never kill off a gay character, far from it. However, if you do, it should be at the same proportion as straight characters and, preferably, not be completely pointless. Knock at the Cabin is a case study in how to do this correctly while also indulging in more than a few of M Night Shyamalan’s worst tendencies as a writer/director.

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Scream 6 (2023) – Scream A Little Louder

Released: 9th March
Seen: 8th March

On June 6th Neve Campbell made an announcement that she was not going to appear in Scream 6 due to negotiations with Paramount falling through when they didn’t give her the money that she felt she was worth to the franchise. This was, quite frankly, insane to believe because Neve Campbell is the face of the Scream franchise, as important to it as phone calls and the concept of horror movie trivia so for Paramount to decide to just not give her what she is worth is abysmal on their part. It is my sincere hope that when Scream 7 comes around they actually give her what she deserves and then some because I don’t know how many films in this franchise they can make without the iconic Sidney Prescott… apparently, they can make at least one though because, despite this serious issue, Scream 6 is actually fantastic.

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