The Hitman’s Bodyguard

Seen 26th August

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Sometimes, a film doesn’t need that much to be a good time. A good script, a decent set of shot choices and a fun story can often make a good film an easy way to kill 90 minutes. What makes it work best is if you can take all these elements and hand it to two insanely charismatic stars who can carry the film and kick it up several notches through sheer force of personality alone… this film found four such stars and thank god for that.

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Cars 3

Seen 10th July

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In Pixar’s short history they have found a way to make some of the most emotional movies. Toy Story 3, Up, Inside Out, Wall-E, all movies that have a reputation of pulling at the heartstrings and making even the toughest viewer cry like an anime fan on prom night. Sadly, they’ve never gotten that level of emotion with Cars and certainly didn’t get it with Cars 3

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Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Long Haul

Seen 1st July

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In the late ‘80s and ‘90s when VHS was getting popular, there was a phenomenon known as the “Straight-to-video Movie”. When DVD came in, they only got bigger. Straight-to-video movies were huge because they were cheap to make, you only needed one recognizable name and as long as there was a Blockbuster around you were guaranteed to make money. This genre is why Steven Seagal is able to eat. It’s also the genre that Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Long Haul should be in because it sure as hell doesn’t belong in a cinema.

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Baywatch

Seen May 28th

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Adapting TV shows into feature length films is not easy. Simpsons, 21 Jump Street, Barney’s Great Adventure, many shows have made the leap from the small to the big screen with varying degree’s of success. They often take one of 3 options when it comes to storytelling

1) 3 Episodes of the TV show sewn together ass-to-mouth
2) A super long episode of the TV series
3) An actual movie that doesn’t rely on you knowing the source material in order to enjoy it

Baywatch picked option 3 and… well… it doesn’t outright suck.

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