Extraction 2 (2023) – Even More Extraction!

Released: 16th June
Seen: 26th June

In the year of our lord 2020, Netflix released something that it doesn’t get to release often… a hit film that people actually watched. That film was Extraction, a powerhouse action flick directed by the stunt coordinator for such films as Avengers: Endgame and the Hunger Games Trilogy, which meant that it was basically designed from the ground up to deliver intense high-caliber action sequences with a somewhat interesting story to hold everything together. At the time the film managed to get 99 million viewers in the first month, it’s currently the 7th most viewed original film on the platform (at least as far as we know because Netflix is cagey about releasing its viewer data) – obviously Netflix was going to make a sequel to one of their biggest hits and so they brought back a few of the original cast, the original director and writing team and said “Go do that again” and sure enough, they went and did it again.

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The Flash (2023) – Flash In The Pan

Released: 15th June
Seen: 20th June

The Flash Info

The Flash tells a very complicated story, both on and off-screen (but we’ll get to the off-screen stuff later). The story starts with Barry Allen (Ezra Miller) who is still dealing with the after-effects of being part of the Justice League, basically meaning he has to be on call whenever Bruce Wayne needs backup AKA someone to speedily clean up after his mess. Between those jobs he is doing what Barry Allen always does, calling his father who is in jail for murdering Barry’s mother (a crime he didn’t do) and trying to find evidence to prove his innocence. Somehow, Barry learns that his speed powers can be used to go back in time which means he should be able to go back in time to save his mom’s life… unfortunately, that also means he has somehow changed the world in ways he will have to spend the entire film dealing with.

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Mad Heidi (2023) – Good and Cheesey

Copy provided for review
Seen: 10th June

In 1880, author Johanna Spyri wrote the first book in the Heidi series. The story of a little orphan girl who lived in the Alps was immensely popular, one of the most famous pieces of Swedish literature ever printed and has been adapted to film multiple times over the years. The character of Heidi in particular has this image of innocence that’s so powerful that one of the most famous people to play her in a movie was Shirley Temple and after so many adaptations it becomes harder and harder to find a new angle on how to approach the story of Heidi. However, much like the recent season of Drag Race showed us that there’s a lot of fun in being a demented version of Shirley Temple, Mad Heidi shows off just how much fun it can be to take a character as innocent as Heidi and throw her into the world of glorious 70’s exploitation cinema!

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Spider-Man: Across The Spider-Verse (2023) – Net Positive

Released: 1st June
Seen: 1st June

It’s kind of wild to think about how different things were in December of 2018, both in terms of general worldwide issues and in the pop-culture landscape. Obviously, we didn’t know at the time that we were about a year away from experiencing one of the biggest worldwide events in human history, weren’t to know that the simmering of fascism that popped up in small places was going to become an overwhelming constant nightmare that would seemingly never end and in the world of pop culture we’d all just experienced the absolute shock that was Infinity War

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Plane (2023) – Minimal Turbulance

Released: 13th January
Seen: 21st May

January tends to be known as a dump month for releases. Basically, a film that is released this month tends to be something that the studios don’t have faith in and throw out quickly and quietly with minimal expectations. There are obviously exceptions to this idea, truly spectacular movies can come out pretty much any time but a January release is usually the spot where films go to die. It takes something kind of special to break this rule and actually make a splash… or you can be mediocre enough in the exact right ways to make back a minuscule budget and be something more than just a quick write-off.

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Fast X (2023) – Slow Down!

Released: 17th May
Seen: 20th May

Fast X Info

The Fast and the Furious franchise has developed something of a reputation over the years. At first, that reputation was that these were the films to see cool car tricks and hot women in skimpy outfits, maybe with a little bit of a heist thrown in for dramatic tension. Now the Fast and Furious movies are where you go to see physics be violently pegged by a souped-up automobile powered by the laws of “Fuck you, this looks cool”. It’s somewhat of a dramatic shift over the years but it’s honestly been for the best, the franchise was kind of dull and boring in the beginning and now it’s almost impossible not to salivate in anticipation for what insanely stupid thing is going to be done next behind the wheel of a car.

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Guardians Of The Galaxy Vol 3 (2023) – Out Of This World

Released: 3rd May
Seen: 3rd May

Guardians Of The Galaxy Vol 3

When it comes to the many franchises that make up the MCU, it’s arguable that one of the most surprising of them all is the Guardians of the Galaxy franchise. Based on one of the most obscure Marvel comics out there, the first Guardians movie took the MCU into space and, effectively, introduced the character Thanos to the franchise as an actual character in the narrative instead of as an end credits gag. The second Guardians movie somehow managed to be even better, funnier and more emotional with grander stakes that showed just what these characters were capable of. 

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Ghosted (2023) – Leave On Read

Released: 21st April
Seen: 24th April

Sometimes a film feels like it should be basically impossible to mess up, a combination of a great director, great writers and great actors that seems like at the bare minimum it should produce a piece of fun, harmless entertainment that’ll deliver on what it promises. Say you have the director of one of the best biopic films ever, gave him a film written by the people who wrote two major superhero franchise films and a pair of actors who have proven to have chemistry before who are also wildly popular and insanely talented. That sounds like a recipe for success, a surefire way to make something that’s at least on the surface level enjoyable… so what the hell went wrong with Ghostedyou to make it as dull as it is?

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Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves (2023) – Natural 20

Released: 30th March
Seen: 30th March

In 1974, the very first edition of Dungeons & Dragons was published and it pretty quickly became a mainstay of pop culture. Every decade seems to change how people look at it, be it back in the 80s when it was a very large part of the Satanic Panic bullshit or in the 2000s when we were talking about the first film adaptation that carried the name or even the 2010s when Stranger Things reminded people of why they enjoyed playing this game back in the 80s when the adults said it was evil and satanic. Even now it still maintains high popularity with an untold number of web shows and podcasts dedicated to variations on this classic tabletop RPG… I’ve never played it once, so I went into this movie completely blind and had a great time but who knows how a fanboy might react to this.

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