Companion (2025) – Hearty

Released: 30th January
Seen: 21st April

One of the best things in a good horror film is a twist, a moment when the narrative takes a sharp left-hand turn out of seemingly nowhere and takes the audience on a thrill ride. There’s been a few recent horror films that have been spectacular at this, things like Barbarian where it set itself up as a film about two people stuck in an Airbnb overnight and ended up being one of the most demented films of the year or The Perfection which took the concept of a ‘twist” and dialled it up to 11 to see just how many twists it could fit into 90 minutes without the audience losing its mind. Today’s film, Companion, is a terrifically twisted take on the romance film that takes a few big swings and mostly makes them work.

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Popeye The Slayer Man (2025) – It Is What It Is

Released: 21st March
Seen: 20th April

Over the last few years, a trend has been getting more common, namely that major well well-known works are entering the public domain, meaning that anyone can use them without a problem. For a long time, nothing was entering the public domain thanks to a certain set of laws being adjusted, but now major characters are turning up in the communal toy chest that we can all reach into at any time. What has also become something of a tradition is that people making low-budget horror films have been grabbing these new toys, slathering them with blood and using them to fill digital shelves with their low-budget fare. Most of these haven’t been great (Blood & Honey and The Mouse Trap both ended up on my worst film lists for their respective years) and there’s been some that show improvement (Blood & Honey 2 is still a genuinely fun time) but we’ve yet to have one that just got the joke right off the bat and made something that was enjoyable… until someone ate their spinach and presented us with Popeye The Slayer Man.

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Alien: Romulus (2024) – Shocker

Released: 16th August 2024
Seen: 9th February 2025

Alien Romulus Info

2017 is the last year that we had a new instalment of the Alien franchise, a film that made about 250 million worldwide but didn’t get the best critical reception. It still made money and still had its fans (I counted myself among them at the time of its release) so it was almost inevitable that we would get another sequel where another group of people would happen upon a xenomorph colony and get their shit fucked up by the iconic acid-blooded creatures. Sure enough last year we got such a film with Alien: Romulus, the 7th entry in the long-running franchise which dared to ask the question “What if a bunch of people found the original ship from Alien and there were still aliens on it who would like to face fuck them all to death?”.., an important question that the film deftly answers.

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Nosferatu (2025) – A Symphony Of Brilliance

Released: 1st January
Seen: 3rd February

The 1922 film Nosferatu: A Symphony Of Horror feels like some kind of miracle, namely that we still have access to the film at all. Made in Germany as an unofficial adaptation of the Dracula novel, the original film was the subject of a copyright lawsuit brought on by Bram Stroker’s widow and all copies were supposed to be destroyed by fire. Somehow, a few copies of the film managed to survive and would soon be circulated around the world where it would become not only a cinematic classic but one of the most influential horror films of all time. People have referenced Nosferatu for almost a century now, the infamous shot of Count Orlock’s shadow against the wall with his fingers stretched out alone has been copied by more films than one would dare count and so many vampire films have copied the visual appearance of Count Orlok to some degree. It’s a film that has influenced many and even been the subject of a few remakes, including this remake by Robert Eggers which manages to take the classic material and elevate it in a way only Eggers can.

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The Mouse Trap (2024) – ARRRRRRRRRRRRRGH

Released: 31st October
Seen: 28th December

This year, the leader of the club that’s made for you and me entered into the public domain. That’s right, Mickey Mouse is now officially available for use by anyone for any reason that they want as long as they only use things associated with the version of Mickey Mouse that can be found in the Steamboat Willie short (or in the two other shorts that came out that year, but the version you know is the Steamboat Willie version). This is a huge deal in terms of copyright laws, the reason that the public domain has been so empty for so many years can pretty much be explained by the reality that Disney never wanted Mickey to be in the public domain so they fought hard to keep him out of it but eventually, it had to happen, Mickey can now be put into any film or video game that you would dare to put him. As is tradition when big things like this enter the public domain, someone has to take it and turn it into a horror film as a symbolic gesture to show that no one owns this toy anymore, no one can stop you… someone should’ve stopped this, what the fuck did I just sit through?

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Heretic (2024) – GOD DAMN!

Released: 11th October
Seen: 21st November

“The only thing less trustworthy than a man who questions his faith is a man who does not”

Pope Leo XIV

The question of faith is perhaps the most personal question that one could ever be asked. What you believe happens when you shuffle off the great perch that is life is something that has puzzled people for centuries and has inspired art since the moment we worked out that if you mixed some dirt and water you could make a pretty picture out of it. Faith is also incredibly powerful when used in Horror films, as evidenced by the classic horror film The Exorcist. Of course, the Exorcist looked at the ideas of religion and faith and came down pretty hard on the side of “Yes there is a God and a Devil and you need God to help kick the Devil in the dick”. What about the idea of questioning faith? What about using doubt to help create horror… well, Heretic is here to do exactly that and it does so with glorious aplomb. 

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Smile 2 (2024) – What’s The Use of Crying?

Released: 25th July
Seen: 9th November

So… how was your week?

For people who might stumble upon this in the future, this review is being written in the direct aftermath of America looking at a female prosecutor and a convicted felon who a court has determined to be a literal rapist who also has people who study the rise of Adolf Hitler going “Hey, this guy feels familiar” and decided to give the fascist the practically endless power of the United States presidency so I’ve been a little depressed lately (and I’m not even from the US so god knows how I’d feel if I had to live in the same country that did that). It’s been a hard week full of intense emotions with a lot of people just feeling like the world is crumbling around them… seems like a perfect time to go watch the sequel to a movie about how mental illness can drive you to the brink of suicide and beyond, because it seemed like a more fitting option than that cute looking movie about round robots who raise ducks.

Content warning, this film deals heavily with ideas of suicide and mental illness and those will need to be discussed in order to properly discuss this movie. If that is too much for you… this movie will be too much for you, there’s your review. If even reading this far has stirred up emotions, please call Lifeline on 13 11 14, or the service in your country.

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The Substance (2024) – Substantially Brilliant

Released: 19th September
Seen: 19th October

In April 2015, the show Inside Amy Schumer aired an episode titled “Last Fuckable Day” which contained a sketch featuring Amy alongside iconic actresses Tina Fey, Julia-Louis Dreyfus and Patricia Arquette. In the sketch Amy comes upon Tina, Julia and Patricia celebrating Julia’s Last Fuckable Day, the day that an actress goes from being considered fuckable to just being considered an elderly woman reserved for mother roles. It’s a hilarious and scathing indictment of the very real agist sexism that pervades the entertainment industry and how it treats women. Over the years there’s been several ways to talk about the culture’s obsession with looks, youth and fuckability in the media. Still, for the longest time the strongest indictment I saw came from this silly mid-2010’s sketch comedy series… and now we have The Substance, proving that horror is still the best genre for exploring complex concepts like this.

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Terrifier 3 (2024) – Merry Christ-mass Murder

Released: 11th October
Seen: 12th October

Two years ago something insane happened (in the world of cinema, something insane happens in the real world every other week lately). To the shock of almost everyone, a gonzo gorefest horror film was released worldwide in major cinemas and made over 15 million at the box office. Sure 15 million might not sound like a lot but when you’re made on a budget of 250K and are the sequel to an underground horror film that’s so extreme that even horror fans might wonder if it’s going too far, that’s wildly impressive. Terrifier 2 was an undeniable moment for horror, the moment we had to enter Art the Clown into the pantheon of great horror icons (and in general deliver one of the best performances of 2022. Since then, he’s only grown in popularity. He’s appeared in sitcoms, there’s merchandise with his horrific face all over it, and he’s a character in the latest Call of Duty game, it’s fair to say that he’s broken out of the underground and into the mainstream so it’s no shock that he would come back to the cinemas to remind us why Art the Clown is horror royalty.

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In A Violent Nature (2024) – Follow Friday

Released: 1st August
Seen: 3rd August

2009 is the last year that we got a Friday the 13th film in theaters. This franchise dominated the 80s and created an icon of horror cinema but has been dormant for 15 years. 15 years without an entry in a franchise known for being cheap to make and an almost certain bet at the box office is insane. The only thing that we’ve had from this franchise in that time has been a couple of fan films and a video game in 2017. That video game was an asymmetrical game where one player got to be Jason while everyone else played counselors and that design choice left the people making the game with a bit of a dilemma. 

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