The Flash (2023) – Flash In The Pan

Released: 15th June
Seen: 20th June

The Flash tells a very complicated story, both on and off-screen (but we’ll get to the off-screen stuff later). The story starts with Barry Allen (Ezra Miller) who is still dealing with the after-effects of being part of the Justice League, basically meaning he has to be on call whenever Bruce Wayne needs backup AKA someone to speedily clean up after his mess. Between those jobs he is doing what Barry Allen always does, calling his father who is in jail for murdering Barry’s mother (a crime he didn’t do) and trying to find evidence to prove his innocence. Somehow, Barry learns that his speed powers can be used to go back in time which means he should be able to go back in time to save his mom’s life… unfortunately, that also means he has somehow changed the world in ways he will have to spend the entire film dealing with.

It’s impossible to talk about The Flash as an individual film without talking about two prominent elements that explain its existence and the controversy around it. The first is a simple issue that still needs to be addressed and that is that the star of this film, Ezra Miller, has been on what can only be described as a 5-Star Grand Theft Auto-style crime spree throughout 2022 while this film was still in development. This spree has included allegations of breaking and entering, assault, grooming, burglary, and even strangulation (that happened in 2020 but it’s still a factor).

Now at the moment all we know about this is that Ezra has pleaded guilty to trespassing and is undergoing mental health treatment and there are undoubtedly more court appearances to come but this is a pretty huge deal, it made people call for Ezra’s ousting from the franchise and has also been a huge part of why people don’t want to see this movie at all. Sad to report, if that’s your main barrier to dealing with this film then you’re not going to get any satisfaction. The film actually has double the normal Ezra content (we knew this from the trailer, trailer stuff is fair game to talk about) so if that’s too much for you, understandable.

The second major issue is that this film exists almost entirely because the DCEU is in an irreparable state. DC tried as hard as they could to catch up with Marvel and make a cinematic universe all of their own, betting the farm on a gritty franchise led by Zach Snyder that had gravitas and edge and it just hasn’t been working out. Even if you like the films that made up this cinematic universe it’s hard to deny that they haven’t been crowd-pleasing hits. It’s been an open secret to anyone who pays attention to this kind of thing that DC was planning a reboot for some time, it’s possibly why the last few films in the franchise have bombed at the box office because the core fandom knows that this era of DC films is over and we’re just biding our time for James Gunn to come in with his new toys.

The Flash is a big part of that, in that everyone who is into this type of film knew that a Flash movie was probably going to do a story based on the Flashpoint comics which would allow them to rewrite the DCEU from scratch and justify keeping some people and letting others go. Some people like Ben Affleck or Henry Cavill might not want to stick around, but it’d be foolish to get rid of Gal Gadot or Margot Robbie so now they’ve basically set up that they can do that. From a strict “why is this film a part of the DCEU?” standpoint, The Flash exists as something we can point to and say “That’s why things are different now!” and move on… and it doesn’t do anything else interesting beyond that.

If you remove the broader contexts of both the DCEU itself and Ezra Miller’s legal woes (good luck, they’re the most interesting elements of this entire thing), what we’re left with is a below-average superhero movie wrapped in a subpar time travel/multiverse story that relies on poking your nostalgia button as much as humanly possible instead of telling an actually compelling or original story. It takes the already complicated narrative device of Time Travel (which is always just a quick gimmick to excuse putting modern characters in the past) and throws in the even more complicated idea of the multiverse (which is basically just done to give filmmakers an excuse to do weird shit) and combines them in order to do pretty much nothing of value to the central character. It doesn’t help Barry grow or move on or deal with any issues he might have, it doesn’t make him less impulsive or even learn that he can’t fix everything, it’s just the combination of bullshit excuses the film needs to explain why Batman is actually old Michael Keaton instead of old Ben Affleck and why we’re setting everything back in 2013.

Fortunately, when the film introduces Michael Keaton is when it starts approaching something interesting. This is because Michael Keaton is the best Batman to be put on film and his mere presence is enough to make something engaging, he shows he hasn’t lost his touch and could be Batman in many other films if the WB wasn’t being run by complete fucking morons. In The Flash he’s here for that exact reaction, to have the audience go “Oh cool, it’s 80s Batman but it’s NOW!” and that’s it. He says a few cheesy lines, has one of the only cool action scenes in the film and just kind of dominates any scene he’s in because he is Michael goddamn Keaton, that’s what he does. He certainly manages to make his scenes with Ezra’s character a lot more interesting than they should be, the dynamic has glimpses of being fun and interesting… we will only ever get glimpses because we have to move on.

When The Flash decides to unleash its new character, Kara AKA Supergirl (Sasha Calle) it also gains some life and thank goodness because Sasha Calle is a real discovery.  Hopefully, her version of Supergirl is going to be part of James Gunn’s plan for the future because it’s actually kind of fascinating considering she is basically a Supergirl who gets shown the worst of humanity the second she arrives and has to learn why it’s worth saving. It’s a take on the character that not only puts a big chip on her shoulder she’ll have to deal with but reflects the idea of Supergirl (or Superman) being an immigrant story, a darker modern take that adds a lot of nuances… nuances that we will not be seeing in this film because she gets about four scenes, eight lines of dialogue and is mostly just there so we have a Superperson to fight Zod in the climax.

The more you watch The Flash the more that you see the interesting ideas pop up but be thrown aside in favour of setting things up for an end fight designed to trigger nostalgia. An old villain who we’ve seen die before (and easily, Zod’s neck was snapped in Man of Steel so it’s not like he’s impossible or even that difficult to put down, the only thing that kept him alive for so long in Man Of Steel was the “Superman doesn’t kill” rule which definitely doesn’t apply to this version of Supergirl) fights a bunch of old familiar heroes in a big empty field. It’s lifeless, pointless and just kind of hopes you go “Oh this is that thing I liked before” and that’s enough. Sorry, it’s just not enough because you need a reason to use these nostalgic properties in order for it to mean something. You can’t just flash an uncanny valley recreation of, for example, Christopher Reeve on screen and do nothing with it. 

You can almost get why they thought this would work, it’s the same thing that DC has done several times over and it led them to where they are now… Marvel did it. Marvel did a multiverse, Marvel did time travel, those moments seemed popular so clearly DC just needs to do that too. The catch is when Marvel did a Multiverse (of Madness) they actually made their cameo characters do something. They fought the big bad guy, they gave the main character an important piece of information and they moved the story forward in some way so there was at least a reason to randomly bring in someone that the audience will cheer for just because they turn up. That’s not what The Flash does, none of the cameos (with the exception of Keaton) do anything to enhance the film. They make you go “Oh I remember that” – and that’s it.

None of this is helped by the visual effects work which just dumps every single character in the middle of the uncanny valley and leaves them there. Everyone gets a digital recreation and none of them look remotely good. A literal shower of babies opens the film and it’s the most hilarious thing you’ve ever seen because every single baby looks like the demented nightmare child from the Twilight films and the effects never get better. It’s been said by the director that this is an intentional choice… if that’s true it’s a bad choice that made the film look bad, a thing it didn’t need help with thanks to a series of barren landscapes that make up most of the sets. 

What makes all this worse is that there was on some level a potentially interesting story here. You remember at the start of this review how I mentioned that this entire plan was put in place to revive Barry’s mother? That the reason he even went back in time in the first place was to prevent her death? Dealing with that would be an interesting story but they do it without the mother present for almost all of it, she’s a non-entity in the story that literally revolves around making sure she’s alive. We have no real connection to her beyond what we see in Barry’s eyes (or the CGI tears that are put on his cheeks for some shots because we can’t have too much CGI in this film) and it means nothing to the larger story. He could’ve gone back in time just because it seemed like fun, it does nothing and he learns nothing from doing it. 

The Flash isn’t the great Superhero movie that the studio has been trying to sell, but it’s also not the worst thing that has ever been a part of the DCEU (that bar is set so low that it takes real effort to reach it) but it just feels like a completely perfunctory movie that’s there to be pointed at when they need to explain why they have a different actor in one of the lead roles of this franchise. There are glimmers of potential here, ideas that could’ve actually used this storyline in an interesting and fun way but it chooses instead to throw out pointless cameos, sometimes to the point of grave robbing just to get that nostalgic hit. The Flash could’ve saved this cinematic universe, it could’ve given it a new lease on life… instead, it’s just sped up the inevitable demise of this franchise and with any luck the next time we talk about this character it’ll be with a different actor and under better management.

Oh, and in the event that you somehow read this and still want to go, there is a post-credit scene that’s basically just another very silly cameo but at least it’s a cameo by someone living, so that’s a plus.