The Super Mario Galaxy Movie (2026) – Player 2

Released: 1st April
Seen: 20th July

In 2023, Mario and Luigi made their grand transition from the world of video games to the world of animated films. The Super Mario Bros. Movie came out to massive fanfare, becoming the second-highest-grossing film worldwide of 2023 (just behind Barbie) and it basically proved that you could take this 40-year-old game series and make a film out of it that wasn’t an instant joke. The delightful bright coloured world of the Mushroom Kingdom was so enjoyable and inviting that it really shouldn’t have shocked anyone that it would go on to make over a billion dollars and, once it made that billion, it shouldn’t have been a shock that a sequel would be announced. Now we have The Super Mario Galaxy Movie and while it might not be as delightful as the film that came before it, it’s still a lot of fun.

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A Minecraft Movie (2025) – Loading…

Released: 3rd April
Seen: 22nd June

Is there even any point to doing this? No, seriously, was there any point for any reviewer to even consider touching this movie? Sure, I’m reviewing it several months after it was a phenomenon, largely because there is no way in hell I was going to be in a cinema while a bunch of people went insane for a zombie jockey on a chicken, but even when it was just coming out, what was the point of reviewing it? A movie based on Minecraft is one of those things that’s almost certainly never going to be some kind of critical darling but no matter what it was going to make a shitload of money. Not only did it end up doing that (Currently it’s the highest grossing film of the goddamn year) but it ended up being responsible for the trashing of several cinemas when audiences forgot how to watch a damn movie and lost their minds during a scene where a zombie boy rides a chicken. A Minecraft Movie is review-proof, there is no point… except that I saw it and I just have to ask, am I old now? Am I too old for this? Have I aged out of stupid childish trash? No, it’s the children who are wrong.

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Jumanji: The Next Level (2019) – Round Two. FIGHT!

Released: 26th December
Seen: 27th December

Two years ago, the world was surprised when the reboot of Jumanji came out and was actually really good. They had the near-impossible task of making a sequel to a Robin Williams movie just a few short years after he left us. It was the first time any property that Robin had touched would get revisited and somehow not only did they make it work, they even paid homage to the legend himself with some subtle and unsubtle nods. It ended up making almost a billion dollars at the box office and so naturally there was talk of a sequel. A sequel to Jumanji: Welcome To The Jungle would have its own problem to deal with. Now that they had proven that they could make a film that honoured the original star… could they do something that didn’t rely on our love of a legend?

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