Masters Of The Universe (2026) – IT HAS THE POWER!!

Released: 10th July
Seen: 26th July

The history of He-Man begins in 1982 with the release of the first toy line which was a massive hit. The toys came out with a mini comic attached that gave some backstory that would then explode with the release of the He-Man And The Masters Of The Universe cartoon series which was basically just a glorified toy advertisement but a toy advertisement that was insanely popular and would become a touchstone of 80s kids entertainment. It was the kind of series that was so undeniably huge that it had to be turned into a film at some point, which it was in 1987. That film was something of an infamous bomb, though like a lot of weird 80s movies that were attached to nostalgic properties it became a bit of a cult hit. After that movie it seemed like the Masters of the Universe were relegated to being occasionally rebooted in animated form but wouldn’t get another crack at being a movie until 2026 when Masters of the Universe came out and also bombed… which sucks because it’s actually amazing.

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The Suicide Squad (2021) – Absolutely Superb

Released: 5th August
Seen: 2nd September

The Suicide Squad Info

You may have noticed that for a few months not I’ve not been able to do any reviews for films currently in cinema. In fact, the last film I even got to see in a cinema was In The Heights way back in June. Why? Because I live in Australia and I live in a state that’s had such a bad covid infestation that we’ve been in lockdown for over 2 months.

Obviously “Hobbyist reviewer can’t see films in a cinema” is a problem worthy of the tiniest violin in the grand scheme of things but it’s still the reason why I’m about a month late seeing The Suicide Squad and why films like Candyman, Shang Chi, Respect and Free Guy haven’t been reviewed here. If I can somehow rent them, or the lockdown ends soon, I hope to get to them but that’s why this blog is even more out of date than it normally is… but now I’ve seen The Suicide Squad, time to ramble on about how awesome it is.

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Cats (2019) – Jellicles Can’t

Released: 26th December
Seen: 26th December

In 1939, T.S. Eliot wrote a book titled Old Possum’s Book of Practical Cats. In it, he wrote a series of poems about… well, cats. The book was beloved by many and would be the inspiration for Andrew Lloyd Webber to create the musical Cats in 1981. That show would go on to be the fourth longest-running show on Broadway, just behind The Phantom of the Opera, Chicago and The Lion King. It would also be the 6th longest running show on the West End, behind The Mousetrap, Les Miserables, The Phantom of the Opera, The Woman in Black and Blood Brothers. It’s made billions around the world on the stage and has delighted audiences for years with its story of cats that compete to kill themselves in a magical ritual… and then Tom Hooper managed to get some blackmail photos of a lot of famous people and forced them to appear in his adaptation of the infamously strange musical. That’s the best explanation that I can come up with for why these people turned up. Blackmail and kidnapping, they certainly weren’t there because they wanted to be.

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Hobbs & Shaw (2019) – KABOOOM!

Released: 1st August
Seen: 2nd August

Is there a stupider film franchise than the Fast & the Furious franchise? I admit to enjoying a lot of really silly franchises, I’m a Sharknado fanboy and have been known to say “Friday the 13th Part 9 is good, actually” so I have a good eye for stupidity and this franchise is so stupid that it’s adorable. This is a series that started being about illegal street racing in the first movie and the most recent film in the series involved cybercriminals and nuclear weapons and a giant chase scene involving a submarine and some cars. It’s so insane that the writers have said that they could take the franchise into space and I would absolutely believe them. The series keeps desperately trying to one-up itself and eventually it’s going to end in a giant space battle with space cars and space racing… but before they do that, they have to abuse the franchise name by latching it onto a spin-off movie that just ups the stupid level to heights that we haven’t seen before.

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