Hypnotic (2023) – Sleep!

IMPORTANT NOTE: This piece was written during the 2023 SAG-AFTRA strike. Without the labor of the actors currently on strike, the movies being covered here wouldn’t exist.

Released: 11th May
Seen: 6th October

Robert Rodriguez is a fascinating creative force that’s been a mainstay in pop culture ever since the 90s. For over 30 years now he has been one of the few true auteur directors, a man who has his fingers in every element of the filmmaking process and making magic out of extremely low budgets. With films like From Dusk Till Dawn, Sin City, and the Spy Kids franchise under his belt, Robert Rodriguez’s name alone is enough to get people excited to see what he’s going to do. You would’ve thought his name attached to a Ben Affleck action film would’ve been something of a slam dunk, a creative director and one of the few true superstars of modern cinema together feels like it should be a combination designed for greatness… As it is, Hypnotic is just pretty OK.

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Totally Killer (2023) – Tubular

IMPORTANT NOTE: This piece was written during the 2023 SAG-AFTRA strike. Without the labor of the actors currently on strike, the movies being covered here wouldn’t exist.

Released: 6th October
Seen: 7th October

One of the most fun additions to the horror genre recently has been when someone takes a classic supernatural comedy film and throws a serial killer in the middle of it. Groundhog Day with a serial killer? You get Happy Death Day. Freaky Friday with a serial killer? You get Freaky. It’s insanely simple to pull this off, half the work was done in the 80s so changing it from a zany comedy to a camp slasher is a fun new addition that we need a lot more of. There’s also some upcoming stuff like Caddy Hack, a horror version of the classic comedy Caddyshack and something called Time Cut which sounds like it’s going to be a spin on Back to the Future but with a serial killer… but apparently, that film has been waiting too long because it got beaten to the punch by Totally Killer and the bar is now set pretty damn high.

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After Everything (2023) – Death To All Of Them

IMPORTANT NOTE: This piece was written during the 2023 SAG-AFTRA strike. Without the labor of the actors currently on strike, the movies being covered here wouldn’t exist.

Released: 6th October
Seen: 6th October

The After franchise has become a nemesis of mine, a franchise I have a deep and profound hatred of that will never die. Every single time a new entry is released, the sound of my wail of pain can be heard around the block because it’s almost predetermined what is going to be put on the screen. Every film is an hour and a half of a depressingly demented toxic relationship with a blank sheet of paper that answers to the name of Tessa (Josephine Langford) and an abusive piece of excrement meant to resemble one of the biggest pop stars of our generation who answers to the name Hardin (Hero Fiennes Tiffin). Every time it’s a film of two people who shouldn’t be sharing time zones having an absurdly toxic and awful time, arguing constantly and breaking up their arguing with lackluster sex set to music chosen by a DJ who is high on ketamine and every time it’s just a bad time for anyone watching that has half a brain. 

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Renfield (2023) – Bitingly Funny

IMPORTANT NOTE: This piece was written during the 2023 SAG-AFTRA strike. Without the labor of the actors currently on strike, the movies being covered here wouldn’t exist.

Released: 6th April
Seen: 6th October

Renfield Info

Ever since Bram Stoker printed his legendary novel Dracula, people have been doing wild and crazy things with the character. He’s one of the true greats of horror literature, the first Universal movie monster and a blueprint for pretty much every vampire that’s been used in modern media. He’s been the star of films, TV series, video games and even a musical. The uses for the character are endless and constant, hell a single chapter of the book ended up being made into The Last Voyage of the Demeter which is one of the best horror films of the year so it’s fair to say that there’s a lot of great ways to utilize this character and his world… and now, finally someone looked at the books and said “Wait, what about an entire film about Dracula’s butt monkey, Renfield?” and thus we get the absolutely glorious, sadly underseen, Renfield.

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Saw X (2023) – Bloody Brilliant

IMPORTANT NOTE: This piece was written during the 2023 SAG-AFTRA strike. Without the labor of the actors currently on strike, the movies being covered here wouldn’t exist.

Released: 28th September
Seen: 28th September

Saw X Info

By the time a horror franchise hits the 10th film, it’s safe to say that things will be well off course. By the time Friday the 13th was 10 films deep, they sent Jason into space. By the time Halloween was 10 films deep, it was finishing up its first set of remakes. By the time Nightmare on Elm Street was 10 films deep… actually we don’t know because Nightmare never made it to 10 films, that’s how rare it is to make that many films in a horror franchise. So you can imagine the general nervous anticipation that was building up with the announcement of Saw X, a return to the original timeline of the franchise after the mild detours of Jigsaw and Spiral, which could’ve failed spectacularly but somehow it ended up being one of the best of the franchise.

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Gale: Stay Away From Oz (2023) – Short of Oz

IMPORTANT NOTE: This piece was written during the 2023 WGA and SAG-AFTRA strikes. Without the labor of the writers and actors currently on strike, the movies being covered here wouldn’t exist.

Copy provided for review

Gale Info

Taking a classic story and turning it into a horror film is a trend that can go well or go horrifically. We’ve seen the recent burst of these with things like Winnie The Pooh entering the public domain and turning into a horror film that somehow forgot to enjoy the innate silliness of the idea. However, some properties offer a more organic way into the genre and arguably one such property would be The Wizard of Oz which is a franchise that might be mostly family-friendly but still can terrify when needed. Hell, The Wicked Witch of the West is the first truly scary character that most people see in their lives, she’s a truly terrifying creation that can make even full-grown adults recoil in fear. So, there is a little bit of a chance that something like Gale: Stay Away From Oz might actually work and I believe it really could… when it’s done.

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Pet Sematary: Bloodlines (2023) – Sometimes, Dead Is… OK?

Copy provided by Paramount for review

Pet Sematary: Bloodlines Info

In 1983 Stephen King wrote the book Pet Sematary which is still considered one of his more iconic works, which is saying a lot considering how prolific Stephen is. It, like a lot of King’s work, was naturally adapted into a movie in 1989 and like a lot of 80’s horror movies, it got remade in the late 2010s, 2019 to be specific. The 2019 Pet Sematary didn’t get great reviews (though I personally quite enjoyed it) but what it did get was a serious return on investment with over 100 million from a film made on a 20 million budget. Normally this would mean a sequel was basically guaranteed but Pet Sematary is the kind of story that doesn’t lend itself to a follow-up… apparently it does have a prequel in it though, which kind of works up to a certain point.

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A Haunting In Venice (2023) – I Moustache A Question

IMPORTANT NOTE: This piece was written during the 2023 WGA and SAG-AFTRA strikes. Without the labor of the writers and actors currently on strike, the movies being covered here wouldn’t exist.

Released: 14th September
Seen: 20th September

Six years ago Kenneth Branaugh released Murder On The Orient Express, a surprise blockbuster murder mystery that showed there was still a lot of love for the classic murder mystery genre. Hell, it’s probably fair to say that without the success of Murder On The Orient Express we wouldn’t have seen Knives Out a few years later, Of course, because Murder On The Orient Express was such a huge hit, and there are over 40 assorted Hercule Poirot novels that could be adapted, naturally that meant a sequel which is why we got Death On The Nile last year. That film was not one that ended up being reviewed over here because of the Armie Hammer allegations which made the prospect of seeing it just a little bit depressing, and now definitely won’t be seeing it thanks to the Russell Brand allegations. Fortunately, Death On The Nile does not appear to be required viewing in order to follow A Haunting In Venice, if you even want to try and follow it.

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