Nyad (2023) – Goes Swimmingly

Released: 3rd November 2023
Seen: 7th February 2024

In 2013 at the age of 63, Diana Nyad did something borderline impossible. She swam from the shores of Havana, Cuba to the beaches of Key West, Florida. The journey was 110 miles long and involved her staying in the water for 53 hours to complete it… it also took her 5 tries, four of those happening while she was in her 60s. Along with her team in a nearby boat and her coach Bonnie Stoll, Diana pulled off something truly staggering that’s only been accomplished by 2 other people before her (That we know of). Now sure, the Guinness World Record people and the World Open Water Swimming Association have not certified the swim (short version, they claim it counts as assisted because she wore a protective suit to avoid being stung by jellyfish and may have been touched every now and then by crew members who were trying to help her every now and then during the 2 and a half days she was swimming in the freezing ocean) but fortunately the biopic Nyad gives us a version of the story worth hearing.

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Air (2023) – Let’s Get Some Shoes

Released: 5th April
Seen: 17th April

Air Info

In the history of sports, there are a handful of people who are so talented at what they do that it transcends the world of sports and they just become a part of the culture, and there is no one in history who exemplifies that more than Michael Jordan. Even if you don’t know a damn thing about basketball, even if you’ve never seen a single game and couldn’t give a single solitary crap about any of it you know who Michael Jordan was. He is widely considered to be the greatest basketball player of all time, some might even argue that he’s the greatest sportsman of all time. 

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King Richard (2022) – Serves A Good Time

Released: 13th January
Seen: 15th March

King Richard Info

If you were to ask who is the greatest athlete alive today, you could absolutely say Venus or Serena Williams and get absolutely no arguments from anyone with half a brain. Since their debut match, the Williams sisters have been widely considered to be two of the greatest tennis players to ever hit the court and with good reason. Their rise to fame is nothing short of meteoric and undeniably due to their talent. Venus Williams currently has won Wimbledon 5 times and Serena has won 23 Grand Slam championships, both of them would tell you that a large part of their success is due to their coaching at the hands of their father Richard Williams, AKA King Richard.

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Home Team (2022) – It’s A Shame

Released: 28th January
Seen: 31st January

In 2012 the coach of the New Orleans Saints, Sean Payton (Kevin James), received a one-year suspension for his part in a scandal that was known as “bounty gate” where players on the team were paid to intentionally injure players on the other team. Now, Sean has maintained his innocence in this and the details are more complicated than I care to look into (I’m not a sports person, I had to get all that off Wikipedia so I understood the situation as best I could) but the key point is that Sean didn’t coach his team during 2012 and instead used that time to coach his son’s sixth-grade team during that season. This story is the inspiration for the movie Home Team, which is what happens when the Happy Madison team decides to make a sports biopic and then gets bored and just makes their usual shit.

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Go! (2020) – Seriously… GO!

Released: 16th January
Seen: 2nd September

Go Info

In the 80s there was this trend of films that basically wanted to go out and copy The Karate Kid, which was understandable since Karate Kid was a monster hit. There were sequels, spin offs, rip offs and more. Hell, right now someone is apparently working on a musical based on the Karate Kid. It was a monster hit for a reason, it’s a fantastic film with charming characters, brilliant performances and a classic underdog story that tugs at the heartstrings… and if you remove the words “Charming” “Brilliant” and “Classic underdog” from that description, but effectively make the same film, you get Go!, a 2020 Australian film that almost completely lost me within the first 30 minutes and didn’t gain me back for the rest of the film.

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The Way Back (2020) – Loves Me Some Sportsball!

Released: 5th March
Seen: 2nd September

 The Way Back Info

Ahh, the sports movie. I love a good sportsball movie, I love it. I know all about the sportsball with… the passing and… uh… throwing a ball? OK so I know exactly jack shit about sports and the balls that are used to play them but fortunately sports movies never need you to actually understand the game because they’re never actually about the game. They’re about the scrappy underdog team who starts at the bottom and works their way up the top and the question is always if we’re focussing on the team itself or on the coach of the team and maybe one team member that the coach identifies with. Details may change, like the sportsball game being played or how many times someone yells an obscenity but in general they are all the same and The Way Back is not about to break that pattern, but it does offer a good version of that story.

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Ford v Ferrari (2019) – Zoom zoom

Released: 14th November
Seen: 14th November

In the early 1960s the Ford motor company was having a bit of a hard time. Sure they were financially successful, but Ferrari was still considered the better car even though Ferrari at the time was hemorrhaging money. After the head of Ford, Henry Ford II (Tracy Letts) was rejected and humiliated in his attempt to purchase a stake in Ferrari he decided on a new plan… humiliating Ferrari by beating them at the 24 Hours of Le Mans race which Ferrari had won for several years running. In order to accomplish this, Ford hires Carroll Shelby (Matt Damon), the only American who hadwon the Le Mans race but retired due to a heart condition. Since that heart condition means Shelby couldn’t handle the race, he hires his old friend Ken Miles (Christian Bale) to handle the driving. Catch is, Ken’s a bit of a hothead who doesn’t play well with others, especially the bosses at Ford who are almost pointedly trying to abuse and screw over the little guys working for them.

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Fighting with My Family (2019) – PURE ELECTRICITY!

Released: 21st March
Seen: 24th March

Fighting with My Family Info.png

Let’s get this out of the way right up the top; I’m not a fan of wrestling. I’ve never gotten into it, I grew up right when it was really starting to explode in popularity and can even remember kids in my class in primary school yelling “The Rock is pure electricity” and not having a single clue what they were talking about. It’s a worldwide phenomenon that a lot of people really love and I really just can’t get into. So, a film that follows a family that is madly in love with the sport is going to have to work a little harder to win me over. It can’t just rely on a lot of insider knowledge in order for me to be able to get into it, it needs to be a little more than that. It needs to somehow play a balancing act between giving the wrestling audience what it wants while also providing those of us outside that very specific fanbase with something to enjoy. Imagine my surprise when the movie starts and I not only end up enjoying it, I end up loving almost every single second.

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Cars 3

Seen 10th July

Cars_3_Teaser_Poster_2

In Pixar’s short history they have found a way to make some of the most emotional movies. Toy Story 3, Up, Inside Out, Wall-E, all movies that have a reputation of pulling at the heartstrings and making even the toughest viewer cry like an anime fan on prom night. Sadly, they’ve never gotten that level of emotion with Cars and certainly didn’t get it with Cars 3

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