Better Man (2024) – A Different Man

Released: 26th December 2024
Seen: 24th February 2025

Biopics in general have never been my thing, mostly because they’re pretty much all the same. A performer gets famous, does a lot of drugs, pisses off a lot of people before finally pulling through and becoming the superstar that was worthy of making a biopic about. It’s all the same and only ever becomes interesting based on the lead actor’s performance. It’s such a predictable formula you can almost guess what song will be performed after each drug-taking montage if you know enough of the main musician’s hit songs. The only biopic in recent memory that was actually good enough to make me enjoy it would be Rocketman which took the life of Elton John and turned it into a lavish musical that ignored the constraints of linear time to present the story of Elton’s life. I’ve been genuinely waiting for someone to look at that movie and steal what made it work to see if it could be replicated, imagine my surprise when Take That bad boy Robbie Williams did that exact thing and threw in a CGI monkey just for the fucking hell of it.

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The Apprentice (2024) – Dump Trump

Released: 10th October 2024
Seen: 28th January 2025

Donald Trump is one of the worst human beings ever to set foot on planet Earth. He’s a racist, a sexist, a bigot, a fascist, a probable tax cheat, an adjudicated sexual abuser (I want to call him a rapist but apparently you can’t call him that because, according to the civil suit, he only forcibly penetrated E Jean Carol with his fingers and not his penis so we’re going to stick with sexual abuse), a man responsible for the spread of so much covid misinformation that we will never be able to put an end to that disease even though we had the tools to stop it and that’s just referring to the stuff he’s done in the last 5 years. History books are going to write about this man in the same tones that we now talk about a certain German man who also had a really shitty hairstyle… but unfortunately for all of us, this absolute scumbag piece of shit got to be president because enough idiots fell for his scam which means his life actually has historical importance and so, like a lot of other presidents before him, Donald Trump gets to have his own biopic… fortunately, it’s a biopic that shows him for what he is: SCUM! (and yes, I put this up the top of the review because if this paragraph upsets you because of me insulting Trump, the film is going to do worse so you are warned… you’re welcome)

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Maestro (2023) – Play Me Off

Released: 20th December 2023
Seen: 15th January 2024

With the Oscar nominations being announced just a few days ago, the time has come to tackle the annual tradition of playing catch-up on every nominated film that I somehow managed to miss throughout the year. Sometimes a film just isn’t released down here before the nominations (That’s happening with over a dozen films that I could see), sometimes a film is released but falls past the radar of must-see (how the hell was I meant to know that The Creator would be an Oscar nominee) and sometimes a film just seems like it’s going to be something I’m going to hate trying to review and because this is an unpaid hobby I avoid it until absolutely required… my dislike of biopics put Maestro firmly in that category and while I can admit it’s great, it’s still not my cup of tea.

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Elvis (2022) – Set My Soul On Fire

Released: 23rd June
Seen: 12th July

Elvis Info

For years now there has been a conspiracy theory that Elvis Presley isn’t dead. The story goes that Elvis grew tired of fame and of his exhausting schedule and so he faked his own death and went off to live as a normal person. People claim to see him in coffee shops, he works in a little cafe in the middle of the desert, people just see Elvis all the time. I have never subscribed to this theory, I firmly believed for years that Elvis Aaron Presley died on August 16,1977 in his home in Memphis… now I might have to question that because Austin Butler might just be the pseudonym that Elvis chose to perform under one last time.

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