Bumblebee (2018) – More Than Meets The Eye

Released: 20th December
Seen: 14th December (Advanced Screening)

Last year the film Transformers: The Last Knight was released to cinemas on June 20th. On July 3rd I walked into a cinema and saw it and I can safely say it was the worst cinematic experience I had in 2017. I hated so much about it, I hated its drab colour scheme and shoddy editing. I hated its stupid dialogue and insipid story. I hated its stupid attempt at using Arthurian mythology. I hated how it wasted legendary actors, and also Mark Wahlberg. I raged about the aspect ratio and the transitions and every aspect of the filmmaking. I raged about that so much that I literally stated that Michael Bay does not know how to make movies. I labelled it the second worst film of the year, and I STILL think I was being very generous when I gave it that title because I don’t know if I should’ve called it a film! So you can imagine how I was not in any way excited about a new Transformers movie. I was prepared to sit there raging in anger and broiling in my own hate-juice while I vomited bile all over the seats around me… and then I went to see the movie, and I got a Christmas miracle.

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Transformers 5 Proves Michael Bay Doesn’t Know What He’s Doing

Uploaded to MoviePilot on July 6th 2017

Michael Bay: Alleged Film Maker

So guess who saw Transformers 5: The Last Knight? That’s right, people who suffered. I was one of them and I have come to the conclusion that I’m sure many people came too ages ago. Michael Bay has absolutely no idea how films are supposed to work. I’m not just talking about story or concept, films like Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles or Pearl Harbor proved that long ago. For me, it took Transformers 5 to catch onto the fact that, in general, he has no idea what on earth he’s doing just in terms of the fundamentals of cinema.

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Transformers: The Last Knight

Seen 3rd July


In the 2004 film Team America Matt Stone and Trey Parker posed a very simple question, “Why does Michael Bay get to keep on making movies?”. They were referring to Pearl Harbor, A film where Michael Bay decided to turn one of the worst attacks on America into a love story. Well, good news, Michael Bay is no longer desecrating American history… he’s moved on to desecrating the entire planet’s history, science, logic, basic movie making and humanity in general.

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