6 Underground (2019) – Bury it!

Released: 13th December
Seen: 24th December

During the promotional tour for this movie, the star Ryan Reynolds was happy to describe the film as “The most Michael Bay movie ever”. This kind of warning had me worried because I have a bit of a history with Michael Bay movies and the promise of the most Michael Bay movie ever sounds more like a threat than anything. See, I still contend that the last Transformers movie is so bad that it should basically bar Michael Bay from making a movie with a budget that’s above 5 million until he learns how to make a movie… and then Netflix in their infinite wisdom promised to release his latest film 6 Underground and my life is now actively worse because of it. Seriously Netflix, I understand that you need to have content that you own outright because everyone else is taking their content away to put on their own streaming platforms but how hard would it be for you to have just the tiniest bit of quality control. Not much, just enough to stop encouraging Michael Bay to keep making movies.

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Transformers 5 Proves Michael Bay Doesn’t Know What He’s Doing

Uploaded to MoviePilot on July 6th 2017

Michael Bay: Alleged Film Maker

So guess who saw Transformers 5: The Last Knight? That’s right, people who suffered. I was one of them and I have come to the conclusion that I’m sure many people came too ages ago. Michael Bay has absolutely no idea how films are supposed to work. I’m not just talking about story or concept, films like Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles or Pearl Harbor proved that long ago. For me, it took Transformers 5 to catch onto the fact that, in general, he has no idea what on earth he’s doing just in terms of the fundamentals of cinema.

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Transformers: The Last Knight

Seen 3rd July


In the 2004 film Team America Matt Stone and Trey Parker posed a very simple question, “Why does Michael Bay get to keep on making movies?”. They were referring to Pearl Harbor, A film where Michael Bay decided to turn one of the worst attacks on America into a love story. Well, good news, Michael Bay is no longer desecrating American history… he’s moved on to desecrating the entire planet’s history, science, logic, basic movie making and humanity in general.

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