Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2022) – This Blade Is Dull

Released: 18th February
Seen: 20th February

Texas Chainsaw Massacre Info

There has been a trend in horror films lately where a classic slasher franchise will do a sequel starring the original cast set about 40 years after the original film that ignores every other sequel that came before it. This trend has given us absolutely brilliant films like the 2018 Halloween and it’s given us reasons to despise the very concept of cinema with things like I Spit On Your Grave: Deja Vu. It’s a high risk-high reward concept because it will pull in fans who want a heavy hit of pure nostalgia but you then have to give them a film that somehow honours the original while also being something new and fun. Texas Chainsaw Massacre does none of that, it just exists in a boring way that makes me wonder why this franchise keeps on going.

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The Tragedy Of Macbeth (2022) – The Scottish Film

Released: 14th January
Seen: 19th February

The Tragedy of Macbeth Info

If one were to take a wild guess at who was the most frequently performed and adapted writer in history, chances are good your first guess would be Shakespeare and you would more than likely be right. His work is incredibly malleable and easy to adapt into anything you want. His works can be turned into cartoons about a pride of lions (Lion King = Hamlet), it can be a fun 90s romcom (10 Things I Hate About You = Taming Of The Shrew) or it can be a classic Hollywood musical (West Side Story = Romeo & Juliet). 

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The Night (2021) – A Blatant ‘The Shining’ Double

NOTE: Here is my review from Soda & Telepaths that was posted back on February 2nd, 2020

Driving home from a night with some friends, Babak (Shahab Hosseini) and Neda (Niousha Noor) become too tired to finish the trip home and so, with their young infant in tow, the couple decides to take a room at the Hotel Normandie for the night so they can sleep off the exhaustion and alcohol. However, the Hotel Normandie is not as peaceful as they would hope and soon their night becomes overrun by assorted strange things that seek to drive them apart and force them to reveal the dark secrets that have caused a rift in their relationship to begin with. 

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Minor Premise (2020) – Extremely Slow in the Payoff

NOTE: Here is my review from Soda & Telepaths that was posted back on December 10th, 2020

I’m sure we’ve all seen a few science fiction films before that have used the same old trope. A scientist has a great invention, they can’t get anyone else to be the test subject so they test it out on themselves and the ensuing chaos is caused by the experiment going horribly horribly wrong. It’s a trope for a reason, it works and it often leads to an interesting character in the form of the scientist and can also lead to a devastatingly emotional ending (think of The Fly remake for a prime example of this). I love a good story of a scientist being put through the wringer because of their own hubris and Minor Premise presents an interesting version of this story, albeit one that’s a little more heady than most.

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Pig (2021) – Some Pig

Released:16th September
Seen14th December

Pig Info

When one thinks of a Nicolas Cage performance, they tend to think of something big and crazy where Cage is going at 150% the entire time. You think of things like him screaming “Arrgh, not the bees”, you think of his wide crazy eyes, you think of someone who is unafraid to be completely committed to the most insane things he’s asked to do in any given film. Sometimes this leads to maddeningly strange performances like The Wicker Man, sometimes this leads to people using his skills perfectly for films like Mandy or Willy’s Wonderland that almost worked around Cage’s eccentricities as a performer.

Pig is a glorious reminder of the raw talent that the man has, there’s a reason he’s an Oscar winner and Pig probably should be the reason he gets a second but you know the Academy will never do anything that interesting.

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The Guilty (2021) – All Too OK

Released: 1st October
Seen: 27th November

The Guilty Info

While some films have large elaborate casts, there are those that are designed specifically to focus on a single performance. When these are done right, they can lead to some genuinely fascinating films with incredible central performances, we had one earlier this year with Oxygen, which bore a lot of similarities to Buried. The trick is to somehow maintain an audience’s intrigue for an hour and a half with only one performer and one location. Joining that group of films is The Guilty, a film that gives Jake Gyllenhaal a chance to show off just what he can do… interesting choice to release it around the time we’re apparently meant to hate him because a song said so, but hey that’s how things happen sometimes.

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Trust (2021) – Intriguing

Released: 12th March
Seen: 24th November

Trust Info

You know, lately we’ve had a run of seriously bad sex dramas that are less sexy and dramatic and more like painful farces designed to make us pay for our sins. 50 Shades, After, 365 Days, all of them (and their terrible sequels) sexy dramatic films designed to titillate and intrigue that mostly just get on the thinking audience’s tits. They’re not good and not fun, what ever happened to fun sex dramas? Well, looks like Trust might be just barely good enough to show that there might still be some actual creativity left in this admittedly tawdry genre.

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Paranormal Activity: Next Of Kin (2021) – Dead Boring

Released: 29th October
Seen: 23rd November

In 2009, the movie Paranormal Activity was given a wide release and signalled a change in Horror movies that would almost dictate what the upcoming decade would look like. Before Paranormal Activity, the Horror genre was knee deep in so-called “Torture Porn” films that relied heavily on shock and incredibly over the top violence and gore. 

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The Night House Promo Image

The Night House (2021) – Good Night

Released: 19th August
Seen: 18th November

Haunting movies are always a tough one to pull off. They tend to be a little slower to start with and at times just get a little silly because of what’s needed visually to impart the idea of a ghost moving things around. It takes something pretty special to make this genre rise above just a bunch of loud noises and slamming doors… enter The Night House, something special that rises above loud noises and slamming doors.

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Candyman (2021) – Sweet

Released: 26th August
Seen: 11th November

Candyman Info

In 1992 the world was introduced to one of the modern horror icons, The Candyman. The mythology behind him was simple and powerful, he was the vengeful spirit of a man killed in the 19th century for being part of an interracial relationship. He returns if his name is spoken into a mirror five times and, with a hook where his hand should be, does that thing you expect people to do in slasher films. It’s a not even slightly subtle tale about racism and after the third film didn’t do well either critically or financially the series has been on a hiatus since 1999. Well, we’re going through another grand resurgence of classic horror franchises lately with the monster hit Halloween showing that some of these series still have life in them so it makes sense that Candyman returns now when his particular kind of political horror is most definitely welcome.

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