Peter Rabbit 2 (2021) – Fine Furry Family Fun

Released: 25th March
Seen: 7th August

Peter Rabbit 2 Info

In 2018 the film Peter Rabbit came out to a fairly mixed response. Personally I thought it was fine, James Corden hadn’t quite become full cinematic poison just yet (though he had just done The Emoji Movie, so he was getting there) and the film itself had enough silliness and charm to be fine for the little kids. It was cute but I was fine with it sticking to just a single film, a feeling I grew more sure of the more my general disdain for the lead actor grew (the man did Cats, Superintelligence AND The Prom within a year, a trilogy of performances that should end careers). Now having finally seen the sequel… It’s a bit of an improvement on the original, but I can also be done with this series at any point now.

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Pray Away (2021) – One Of The Most Important Doco’s Of The Year

Released: 3rd August
Seen: 3rd August

Pray Away Info

If you want to get on the express ticket to my bad side, be on the side of Conversion Therapy. Conversion Therapy, otherwise known as Pray Away The Gay, is the idea that people can be turned straight via some form of extreme therapy. In reality, it’s a way to force queer people into suppressing their true selves in order to be accepted by a group made up of bigots who have only read one book and decided that the part of that book that said gays were bad was a rule they had to follow forever but the part about mixed fabrics was up for debate. Over the years there have been a lot of documentaries regarding this movement but the recent documentary Pray Away might be one of the best of the bunch.

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The Seventh Day (2021) – Give It A Goddamn Rest

Released: 28th January
Seen: 3rd August

The Seventh Day Info

A good staple of the horror genre, one that has been done time and time again, is the Exorcism movie. You know the drill, young person gets possessed by demon and ends up tied to a bed, an old priest and a young priest turn up to yell bible verses at them, there’s a little vomit and occasionally some magical torture until finally the demon is cast out and the child lives on. Basically, everyone saw The Exorcist way back in 1973 and decided they could do that too (except no one has ever come close to being even half as scary as The Exorcist). So, when I tell you that The Seventh Day is ANOTHER exorcism movie with nothing much of value to offer, just pretend to be shocked by that information.

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Buddy Games (2021) – No Fun!

Released: 7th January
Seen: 2nd August

Buddy Games Info

Gross out comedy is one of the more difficult kinds of comedy to pull off. Done right it can be absolutely hysterical, films like the influential Pink Flamingos or the 90s monster hit American Pie prove how good this subgenre can be. However, if done wrong (and oh god is it often done wrong) then you just get a disgusting film with nothing really redeeming about it beyond maybe a few performances here or there.

…So, Buddy Games is a disgusting film with nothing really redeeming about it beyond maybe a few performances here or there.

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The Tomorrow War (2021) – Big Time Fun

Released: 2nd July
Seen: 1st August

The Tomorrow War Info

One of the interesting things that’s started happening over the last year and a half of the pandemic has been witnessing big film companies selling off their features to streaming services in order to ensure the biggest possible release in the current circumstances. The Tomorrow War was originally meant to be a big Christmas day release in 2020, taking the mantle of being one of the few holiday blockbusters that weren’t made by Marvel. 

Of course because last year was the year we learned “Avoid it like the plague” was a complete lie, that film had to be pushed back in release and was eventually sold off to Amazon for release on their Prime video service… and that change in venue is the biggest weakness of The Tomorrow War.

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Occupation: Rainfall (2021) – Does The Job

Released: 28th January
Seen: 31st July

Occupation Rainfall Info

In 2018 the film Occupation was released in July to an audience of… uh… almost none. On a six million dollar budget the little Aussie Sci-Fi invasion flick brought in a worldwide box office total of about $150K. To put that into perspective, in July of that year the 2007 film Across the Universe got a re-release for three days and made about $200K. To put it bluntly, Occupation was a flop. 

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Hostage House (2021) – Hell House

Released: 27th July
Seen: 29th July

Hostage House Info

Film releases sometimes happen in little patterns. A certain period of the year is usually for the big blockbusters, another period tends to be for the prestige films trying to get an Oscar, other periods are known as dumping grounds go. Well I’m noticing a new pattern forming, it seems like this point every year is when Netflix seems to release a particularly pathetic wannabe TV movie thriller. First was Secret Obsession, then Dangerous Lies and now we have the utter excrement that is Hostage House, a movie I wouldn’t even program at 3am on the cheapest network you could contemplate.

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Gunpowder Milkshake (2021) – Almost Totally Badass

Released: 15th July
Seen: 28th July

Normally I start these things with a little fun thing that will provide some context for the review, either on why the film exists or on a bit about the genre or even just a bit about my relationship to the material in order to try and paint a broader picture. Today, just a little mild housekeeping before I talk about Gunpowder Milkshake. My home state of NSW has been in lockdown thanks to covid for the last month, which is why I’ve had the time to basically do one of these every day and why you might’ve spotted I missed out on some recent releases like Space Jam 2, Fast & Furious 9 and Escape Room 2. Well, that lockdown’s been extended throughout August so I’m gonna miss a bunch of those releases too, which is particularly annoying cos I know some of the big ones are gonna be on HBONow and I can’t access that (I think) so please just keep my home state in your thoughts, hopefully we can get things on track and return to normal… anyway, let’s talk about a film that only released in cinemas down here but was also on Netflix in the US so was therefore relatively easy to access.

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A Classic Horror Story (2021) – A Buffet of Horror

Released: 14th July
Seen: 27th July

I’ve made it no secret on this blog that I’m a big fan of horror films, in particular the low budget slashers of the 80s. Sure, they might not be the most highbrow films that are trying to impart some essential message about the meaning of existence but they are an endless amount of fun. Even if the film isn’t technically great, chances are good there’s at least a creative effect or a funny line or something that’s going to be worth talking about later. Recently Netflix impressed the hell out of me with their Fear Street trilogy, a series of films that paid homage to different eras of the slasher genre… well, A Classic Horror Story decided it wanted to try and do that too, only in about a third of the time.

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