Jungle Cruise (2021) – Ship Shape

Released: 29th July
Seen: 12th November

Jungle Cruise Info

The history of movies based on theme park rides is littered with dull trash that offers nothing exciting. Think about it, with the exception of Pirates of the Caribbean and the recent Muppets Haunted Mansion, there aren’t exactly a lot of theme park movies that turn out to be passable let alone actually good. This would explain why, when the announcement of a Jungle Cruise movie was made, it was met with a collective sigh and many people preparing for it to suck… and now it’s out, up on Disney Plus without the premium price and oh my god how is this thing so good?

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Home Sweet Home Alone (2021) – Homesick

Released: 12th November
Seen: 12th November

Home Sweet Home Alone Info

In 1990 a little film called Home Alone was released. On a budget of a little under $20 million, the film went on to make about $476 million worldwide and become an instant classic that spawned exactly 1 good sequel and then 3 films that technically exist. Home Alone influenced so many other film makers who all took a shot at the “Kid makes an elaborate set of traps around the house that leads to an endless amount of slapstick” genre, which is why we have atrocities like The War With Grandpa. So many people have tried to recreate the magic of the original film and no one has pulled it off… and adding to that “Can’t pull off the magic of Home Alone” pile is Home Sweet Home Alone, a film that doesn’t even pretend to understand what made the original special and just desperately cashes in on a 30 year old property without any effort whatsoever.

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Red Notice (2021) – S’fine

Released: 12th November
Seen: 12th November

Red Notice Info

Usually a film begins with a script or an idea, going through a lot of pre-production before they even think about casting but sometimes there are films that are made entirely around a single cast member. Those films that are either designed to really show off what an actor can do or just to play to their strengths… Red Notice is that latter film and it’s so ridiculously simple that it’s almost impossible to truly hate, but probably won’t be up there on the “best of the year” lists either.

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Candyman (2021) – Sweet

Released: 26th August
Seen: 11th November

Candyman Info

In 1992 the world was introduced to one of the modern horror icons, The Candyman. The mythology behind him was simple and powerful, he was the vengeful spirit of a man killed in the 19th century for being part of an interracial relationship. He returns if his name is spoken into a mirror five times and, with a hook where his hand should be, does that thing you expect people to do in slasher films. It’s a not even slightly subtle tale about racism and after the third film didn’t do well either critically or financially the series has been on a hiatus since 1999. Well, we’re going through another grand resurgence of classic horror franchises lately with the monster hit Halloween showing that some of these series still have life in them so it makes sense that Candyman returns now when his particular kind of political horror is most definitely welcome.

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Don’t Breathe 2 (2021) – Take My Breath Away

Released: 12th August
Seen: 11th November

Don't Breathe 2 Info

The 2016 film Don’t Breathe was one of the best horror films of the 2010s, certainly one of the most fascinating. It was dark, unapologetically so, with a creative set of visuals (That I have talked about in a previous article) and a truly fascinating antagonist in the form of The Blind Man. It was a film that let every character live in the grey area, no one was perfectly good and no one was perfectly evil. It was a fascinating little film that really pushed some buttons… so the sequel decides to play it safe and just turn The Blind Man into a hero, because we can’t have nice things.

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Antlers (2021) – Prickly

Released: 28th October
Seen: 9th November

Horror has always been a great genre for talking about the more difficult, darker topics that might be a little too much for other genres. The use of allegory and metaphor can be even more powerful than just discussing a certain topic outright, look at recent hits like Get Out which was just a 2 hour allegory for racism but touched on more elements of the subject than any drama could ever hope for. It’s a powerful tool when used well and Antlers certainly tries to use it and gets a lot out of it, but there’s something kind of off here that makes it fail to live up to its full potential.

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Behind the Monsters: Episode 1 – Halloween

So this was going to be run on Soda & Telepaths but with that place being rebranded and reviews no longer being a thing I’m going to run it over here instead. Why yes, this does mean at some point I might end up having to do a whole bunch of work moving 50+ reviews over here, you caught onto that… anyway, enjoy this look at a pretty great series

Behind the Monsters is a documentary series on Shudder that explores a different villain from horror history in every episode, covers the franchises that turned them into the iconic characters that they are and discusses their importance to the culture. Made up of interviews with cast, crew, critics and fans of each film, the franchise promises to cover such classic horror villains as Chucky, Freddy Krueger, Candyman, Jason Voorhees, Pinhead and the subject of the pilot episode that will be talked about today, Michael Myers from Halloween.

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Wrath Of Man (2021) – That’s Some Good Wrath

Released: 29th April
Seen: 5th November

Wrath Of Man Info

Guy Ritchie is one of those directors who can be a lot of fun when he really wants to be, presenting an over the top world of blokey blokes doing obscene amounts of violence to each other while yelling as many assorted curse words as they can imagine in thick English accents. When he’s at his best, he creates great things like The Gentlemen, a rip roaring grand old time that I still regularly think about to this day (especially Fletcher, one of the best characters Guy Ritchie has ever created and one of the best performances Hugh Grant will ever give in his life). When he’s at his worst, he phones in absolute garbage like Aladdin, which is still a pale, painful imitation of a classic film that didn’t need a remake. So, what does just an average Guy Ritchie film look like? Probably something like Wrath Of Man… which, hilariously, is itself a remake.

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Eternals (2021) – Not Your Normal MCU

Released: 3rd November
Seen: 3rd November

Eternals Info

It’s kind of nice having a whole bunch of Marvel films back in cinemas again, with several coming out this year and even more next year, it’s like it was before the world went to hell and back. Well, now it’s time for one of the big ones… Eternals, directed by the woman who brought us Nomadland and that has been getting a thrashing by critics who proclaim it to be the worst MCU film. Is it really the worst MCU film or is this some backlash to actual serious attempts at diversity? Yeah, probably the second one.

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WeWork: Or the Making and Breaking of a $47 Billion Unicorn (2021) – WeWork Hard, WePlay Hard

Released: 2nd April
Seen: 5th November

In the history of business, there have been some spectacular company deaths, be they big businesses that once cornered a market but failed to keep up with the times (Hi Blockbuster) to little businesses that tried so hard but exploded under their own weight. Then there’s businesses like WeWork, a company that leased out office spaces and homes to people in a way that somehow allowed them to not legally be classified as rental agencies. They were huge, a $47 Billion dollar Titanic just waiting for an iceberg to take it down… this documentary is the story of that iceberg.

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