Captain Marvel (2019) – Marvelous

Released: 7th March
Seen: 6th March (Advance Screening)

Captain Marvel Info.png

Have you ever been looking forward to a movie, one you’re sure is going to be a lot of fun with some cool characters and funny lines but then you go online and learn that it’s an evil piece of feminist propaganda meant to cuck all the men and turn them into soy boys, or whatever the hell idiots online think feminism will do to them? Yeah, that’s basically how it’s been building up to this movie, The internet has turned into a constant barrage of idiots taking the lead actresses quotes out of context and pretending they’re anti-men or being giant raging turd monsters telling a woman to smile because they looked at 4 pictures where she isn’t and that means she never does. Oh, oh and then there’s the other thing where people who haven’t seen any movie ever said that instead they’re going to go see Alita instead of Captain Marvel because Alita isn’t at all a feminist movie and is totally apolitical, even though it’s literally a movie about a lower class being lied too and oppressed by the one percent and the only hope for anyone is a woman who is surrounded by flaming garbage dumpsters in the shape of men. Basically, I have hated every single discussion building up to the release of this movie because it has slowly sapped me of my hopes for humanity and now that I have seen it… this is what you were scared of? This? THIS IS WHAT FRIGHTENED SO MANY MEN ONLINE, PEOPLE!

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King Arthur: Legend of the Sword

Released 18th May (Australia)

Seen 14th November

King Arthur

Directed by Guy Ritchie
Written by Joby Harold, Guy Ritchie & Lionel Wigram
Produced by Warner Bros., Village Roadshow Pictures, Weed Road Pictures, Safehouse Picture, Wigram Productions , RatPac-Dune Entertainment
Starring Charlie Hunnam, Jude Law & Astrid Bergès-Frisbey

The tale of King Arthur and the Knights of Camelot is one that has been told hundreds of times throughout the ages. It’s been a musical, a cartoon, a TV series, a Disney Channel Original Movie… hell, it was literally the starting point of the last Transformers movie. Arthurian legend is a tale as old as time and now it’s Guy Ritchie’s turn to have a stab at the well-told tale. Many critics seem to really hate this film… I am not ‘many critics’, despite what my talking scale might tell you.

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