So currently I’ve been posting a bunch of old reviews from my time at Soda & Telepaths… well, the person who ran that side has another one tied into the My Kind Of Weird podcast and sent me to review the upcoming film Fresh, which will be on Disney Plus and Hulu on March 4th so please go read and then go watch when it comes out.
Blood Moon (2021) – Blood Moon Rising
NOTE: Here is my review from Soda & Telepaths that was posted back on March 22, 2021
The Into the Dark series is a monthly anthology on Hulu centered around the idea of holidays. Every month a new film would be released around some random holiday, this has been the way things were since October of 2018… until, ya know, the plague happened and they took a break between August 2020 and Jan of this year. Well, now it’s March and Into the Dark is back with another holiday film, in this case, inspired by the Spring Full Moon, Blood Moon.
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Slaxx (2021) – Fashionably Fun Horror
NOTE: Here is my review from Soda & Telepaths that was posted back on March 17, 2021
It’s the night before a trendy fashion outlet launches its new line and everyone is required to be on hand to help restock the store with the brand new product. What’s the product? Why it’s a pair of jeans that forms perfectly to your body type giving you the best possible shape that anyone could ever hope to have. They’re stylish, slimming, sexy and sentient. That’s right, due to the power of “Do you care why?” the jeans are alive and hungry for blood and they’re going to start with the fashion store workers and the high paid influencers, as all jeans-based murder sprees should!
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Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2022) – This Blade Is Dull
Released: 18th February
Seen: 20th February
There has been a trend in horror films lately where a classic slasher franchise will do a sequel starring the original cast set about 40 years after the original film that ignores every other sequel that came before it. This trend has given us absolutely brilliant films like the 2018 Halloween and it’s given us reasons to despise the very concept of cinema with things like I Spit On Your Grave: Deja Vu. It’s a high risk-high reward concept because it will pull in fans who want a heavy hit of pure nostalgia but you then have to give them a film that somehow honours the original while also being something new and fun. Texas Chainsaw Massacre does none of that, it just exists in a boring way that makes me wonder why this franchise keeps on going.
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The Stylist (2020) – This Style Is In This Season
NOTE: Here is my review from Soda & Telepaths that was posted back on March 2, 2021
Claire (Najarra Townsend) is a shy young hairstylist who spends her days giving other people a chance to feel good about themselves, something that Claire has seemingly never had about herself. She will often find herself imagining what life must be like as some of her clients who appear to lead such perfect lives… and when imagining doesn’t do the job, she’ll drug them, scalp them, wear the scalp in place of a wig and use that to help her pretend that her life is as glamorous as those she helps.
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Lucky (2021) – Luck Repeats Itself
NOTE: Here is my review from Soda & Telepaths that was posted back on March 2, 2021
Lucky starts with a premise that’s slowly growing more familiar with every passing usage of it. May (Brea Grant) is a self-help author living with her partner, Ted (Dhruv Uday Singh), and having what could be considered a relatively comfortable life when suddenly a man breaks into their home.
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Shook (2021) – Much More Interesting Than Its Title
NOTE: Here is my review from Soda & Telepaths that was posted back on February 16, 2021
The world of social media fame is… weird, to say the least. Some people require years of training in a specific skill in order to get fame, other’s can just look pretty and do a good smokey eye and get a million Instagram fans. That second one would describe Mia (Daisye Tutor), a social media ‘celebrity’ with a huge number of followers and a very specific brand that she puts forward to those followers.
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Sator (2021) – Slow And Steady
NOTE: Here is my review from Soda & Telepaths that was posted back on February 8, 2021
The Night (2021) – A Blatant ‘The Shining’ Double
NOTE: Here is my review from Soda & Telepaths that was posted back on February 2nd, 2020
Driving home from a night with some friends, Babak (Shahab Hosseini) and Neda (Niousha Noor) become too tired to finish the trip home and so, with their young infant in tow, the couple decides to take a room at the Hotel Normandie for the night so they can sleep off the exhaustion and alcohol. However, the Hotel Normandie is not as peaceful as they would hope and soon their night becomes overrun by assorted strange things that seek to drive them apart and force them to reveal the dark secrets that have caused a rift in their relationship to begin with.
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Attack of the Unknown (2020) – Who Knows?
NOTE: Here is my review from Soda & Telepaths that was posted back on December 2nd, 2020
Attack of the Unknown starts like a lot of action films, with a SWAT raid on a drug kingpin compound. Their goal is simple, to arrest a crime syndicate boss and transport him to jail. At first, this seems like a relatively easy idea… right up until the Aliens invade, at which point it turns into Assault on Precinct 13 but with aliens who have come to drain the blood from humanity (because the Aliens are also vampires). With the fate of the world in the hands of a small team of SWAT agents and a bunch of criminals, humanity might be doomed.
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Movie Meister Reviews 