Choose or Die (2022) – …Or?

Released: 15th April
Seen: 17th April

In 2018 the film Truth or Dare was released to what could charitably be called ‘mixed’ reviews. It was a film with a fun concept that held back so much that it ended up just becoming one of the blandest horror movies in recent memory. The failure of Truth or Dare is such a shame because a horror film where people have to deal with hard choices that could lead to strange supernatural death is one that has the potential to be a lot of fun, it’s the kind of schlocky idea that this genre thrives on and in the right hands it could lead to something enjoyable.

Apparently, the right hands are not the hands that assembled Choose or Die because they made a movie with that core concept that’s so convoluted it’s hard to enjoy, even though they really go through on the visceral aspect of the genre.

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FANTASIA 2021 Film Festival Review: Strawberry Mansion (2021)

NOTE: Here is my review from Soda & Telepaths that was posted back on August 12, 2021

Strawberry Mansion takes place in a world where the content of people’s dreams is subject to taxation. James Preble (Kentucker Audley) is an auditor whose job is to go through those dreams and figure out how much tax people owe for the strange things that they dream about.

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Ambulance (2022) – Crashing

Released: 24th March
Seen: 7th April

Michael Bay is a very specific kind of filmmaker. His name is basically all you need to hear before you know what the film will contain and his films all feature pretty much the same thing, shit blowing up in various ways causing various amounts of carnage (depending on the film rating he’s permitted to have) that all tend to involve characters who we can charitably call one dimensional and a soundtrack designed to make you walk out of the cinema with your ears ringing. 

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Rescued By Ruby (2022) – Adorable

Released: 17th March
Seen: 4th April

In the almost 5 years that this blog has been around, possibly the biggest target of bile has been films featuring a dog. A Dog’s Purpose was a film that won my inaugural Worst Films list about as handily as one could win such an award, the follow up A Dog’s Journey was bland enough to be a forgettable annoyance, the spin-off A Dog’s Way Home was bad enough to make an honourable mention on the 2019 worst list. Then there was Show Dogs, a Miss Congeniality ripoff that got mildly infamous for having a scene people could compare to child grooming… basically, dogs in movies are one of this blog’s enemies and I worry every time I see one so naturally Rescued by Ruby looked like it was going to piss me off… but it’s undeniably charming enough that I kinda like it so yay for progress.

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Deep Water (2022) – It’s Drowning

Released: 18th March
Seen: 1st April

The name Adrian Lynne might not be one of the most well-known directors but his impact on the film industry is undeniable. Adrian Lynne was the director of such films as 9 ½ Weeks, Indecent Proposal and Fatal Attraction, three of the biggest erotic drama/thrillers of the late 80s and early 90s. This was the period of film history when making sexy adult dramas was big business.

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Dream Horse (2021) – Dream On

NOTE: Here is my review from Soda & Telepaths that was posted back on June 9, 2021

Dream Horse, based on the documentary Dark Horse: The Incredible True Story of Dream Alliance, follows a little welsh town that’s landed on hard times. Jan Vokes (Toni Collette) is feeling particularly hopeless, going from between her work at the co-op and her bartending job in order to make ends meet while dealing with her distant husband Brian (Owen Teale) and her parents, both of whom lean on her help more and more. 

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Nightmare Alley (2022) – A Dark Dream

Released: 20th January
Seen: 19th March

Nightmare Alley Info

In 1946, William Lindsay Gresham wrote the novel Nightmare Alley. The novel was popular enough to be adapted into the 1947 film of the same name. Even though that film didn’t do that well at the box office it’s since been reevaluated as a classic of the film noir genre… honestly, that kind of means it makes perfect sense for Guillermo del Toro to have a go at doing it since the story matches his sensibilities and his films have enough of a timeless quality to them that all you would need to do it put a black and white filter over one of his films and you could probably pass it off as something from the 40s, which they apparently did for a special release of his version of Nightmare Alley which is just goddamn fascinating.

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