So currently I’ve been posting a bunch of old reviews from my time at Soda & Telepaths… well, the person who ran that side has another one tied into the My Kind Of Weird podcast and sent me to review the upcoming film Fresh, which will be on Disney Plus and Hulu on March 4th so please go read and then go watch when it comes out.
Slaxx (2021) – Fashionably Fun Horror
NOTE: Here is my review from Soda & Telepaths that was posted back on March 17, 2021
It’s the night before a trendy fashion outlet launches its new line and everyone is required to be on hand to help restock the store with the brand new product. What’s the product? Why it’s a pair of jeans that forms perfectly to your body type giving you the best possible shape that anyone could ever hope to have. They’re stylish, slimming, sexy and sentient. That’s right, due to the power of “Do you care why?” the jeans are alive and hungry for blood and they’re going to start with the fashion store workers and the high paid influencers, as all jeans-based murder sprees should!
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Lava (2021) – It’s De-Lava-Ly
NOTE: Here is my review from Soda & Telepaths that was posted back on March 17th, 2021
The story of Lava starts like a lot of weird stories begin, with a trip to the tattoo artist. In this case, the tattoo artist is Deborah (Janeane Garofalo) who is trying to live a normal life like any other person of this generation. She goes to work, tattoos people, then comes home to hang out with some friends and watch a pirated copy of the latest episode of Game of Clones (which is apparently just like Game of Thrones but with sentient vegetables, if the Veggetales people could get on making that a reality I would be very happy).
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Bloody Hell (2020) – A Bloody Good Time
NOTE: Here is my review from Soda & Telepaths that was posted back on October 12th, 2020
Bloody Hell is a 2020 horror film that focuses on a man named Rex (Ben O’Toole). Rex tried to do something noble, he tried to stop a bank robbery as it was happening and ended up taking down all of the robbers. Unfortunately his attempt at doing something good for his community ended up backfiring and Rex was sent to jail for 8 years, while also becoming something of a celebrity.
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Home Team (2022) – It’s A Shame
Released: 28th January
Seen: 31st January
In 2012 the coach of the New Orleans Saints, Sean Payton (Kevin James), received a one-year suspension for his part in a scandal that was known as “bounty gate” where players on the team were paid to intentionally injure players on the other team. Now, Sean has maintained his innocence in this and the details are more complicated than I care to look into (I’m not a sports person, I had to get all that off Wikipedia so I understood the situation as best I could) but the key point is that Sean didn’t coach his team during 2012 and instead used that time to coach his son’s sixth-grade team during that season. This story is the inspiration for the movie Home Team, which is what happens when the Happy Madison team decides to make a sports biopic and then gets bored and just makes their usual shit.
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A Ghost Waits (2020) – A Ghostly Love Story
NOTE: Here is my review from Soda & Telepaths that was posted back on October 23, 2020
A Ghost Waits is a low budget horror rom-com that follows a simple house cleaner named Jack (MacLeod Andrews) who has been given the job of cleaning up an abandoned house. He’s heard that this house keeps losing tenants for some reason and part of his job is to make sure everything is up to code since maybe the tenants keep leaving because the heating doesn’t work or they found structural damage and just split. Turns out there’s no real structural damage to the building… however, there is a ghost named Muriel (Natalie Walker) and she is as terrible as all Muriel’s are and her job is to scare anyone out of the house that Jack is cleaning. What follows is one of the weirdest love stories in recent years.
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The Boys S02E05 Review – We Gotta Go Now
NOTE: Here is my review from Soda & Telepaths that was posted back on September 26th, 2020
Space Force: Season 1 (2020) – We’re The Masters of Space
NOTE: Here is my review from Soda & Telepaths that was posted back on June 16, 2020
Continue reading “Space Force: Season 1 (2020) – We’re The Masters of Space”“My new national strategy for space recognizes that space is a war-fighting domain, just like the land, air and sea. We may even have a Space Force.”
Donald Trump, March 13th, 2018
Hotel Transylvania: Transformania (2022) – Ehhh
Released: 14th January
Seen: 14th January
Hotel Transylvania has never exactly been the most memorable franchise. It exists and does its job as a piece of family-friendly entertainment but it’s not a film series that really seems to get much discussion surrounding it, despite them being pretty big hits at the box office. The first three films were fairly huge box office hits and you would have expected that for the 4th entry but nope, Hotel Transylvania: Transformania got thrown on Prime Video to open up 2022. Allegedly this is the final entry in the franchise and to be honest, I can see why since it’s definitely run out of juice at this point.
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Gary Busey Pet Judge (2020) – PET JUSTICE!
NOTE: Here is my review from Soda & Telepaths that was posted back on June 9th, 2020
On April 23rd 2013, the world was introduced to the most glorious combination of words that has ever existed… Mechanical Dog. On an episode of All-Star Celebrity Apprentice, Gary Busey tried to sell LG Smart Home & Home Entertainment products with an advert that involved Gary turning into a mechanical dog. It is my firm belief that the footage of Gary Busey barking randomly while trying to sell electrical appliances created a spark that would inevitably lead to a show with the greatest title of all time. GARY BUSEY PET JUDGE!
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Movie Meister Reviews 