Another writing for Soda & Telepaths, this time about the Shudder horror flick Shook. It’s a fun flick with a couple of problems, including one MAJOR issue but go and read because I judge my self worth by views
Bliss (2021) – Uggh
Released: 5th February
Seen: 8th February
Have you ever noticed how there are some movies that think they’re saying something smart, but’re in fact the dumbest pieces of shit you’ve ever seen? You know the kind of movie where you can almost hear the film theory teachers bouncing with excitement because they’ll get to show it to a class of bored 20 year olds who don’t get what’s so special about the film (because there’s nothing special about it) but want to pass so they make something up? The cinematic equivalent of a guy who wears glasses because he thinks it makes him look smart? Well, whatever list of films you just thought of, you can throw Bliss onto the list because this film really wants you to think that it’s brilliant but that would imply that it’s even worthy of thought.
Continue reading “Bliss (2021) – Uggh”
Strip Down, Rise Up (2021) – The Power Behind The Pole
Released: 5th February
Seen: 8th February
In 2019 the world was rocked by a single moment, that moment being in the movie Hustlers when Jennifer Lopez walked onto a stage while Criminal by Fiona Apple played and performed a pole dance that commanded the attention of anyone who saw it. The pure athleticism and power on display was magnetic and there is no doubt in my mind that this moment led to a whole bunch of women buying poles to fit into their workout routines. Pole Dancing as a workout routine has been around for a long time, and in the documentary Strip Down, Rise Up we get to see just how powerful and meaningful this dance can be for women.
Continue reading “Strip Down, Rise Up (2021) – The Power Behind The Pole”
Malcolm & Marie (2021) – Artsy Arguments
Released: 5th February
Seen: 7th February
During the last year, a lot of films and TV series have had to adapt to this strange new world of the pandemic. Some shows just stopped filming all together, others imposed strict rules to maintain safety. Watch a recent episode of Law & Order SVU and you’ll see large plastic barriers everywhere to protect the cast that had to be written into the text of the show. It’s also led to a lot of films being created from scratch to adapt to this new world of Covid.
Continue reading “Malcolm & Marie (2021) – Artsy Arguments”
Wrong Turn (2021) – Sorry, Wrong Franchise
Released: 26th January
Seen: 7th February
Have you ever heard the story of how Saw 2 came to be? After the monster success of the first Saw movie the producers were desperate for a second film but the original writers didn’t have the time to come up with a new script. While trying to think of what to do the producers happened upon a script that’d been sent to them by Darren Lynn Boseman that was called The Desperate. After reading it they realised that a few modifications to the script would make it fit in with the Saw franchise and that’s how we ended up with the Saw 2 film that we got. I bring this up because I am convinced that a similar situation happened here with Wrong Turn aka The Foundation.
Continue reading “Wrong Turn (2021) – Sorry, Wrong Franchise”
Sator (2021) – Sator? I Hardly Know Her
So, over on the old Soda & Telepaths site there’s another little review from me that’s full of the good stuff (AKA me rambling about whatever the hell I got sent to review). Go, enjoy
Palmer (2021) – Surprisingly Touching
Released: 29th January
Seen: 4th Febuary
So, stop me if you’ve heard this one. A man is living on his own with no real desire to be around other people, especially kids. One day out of the blue a kid ends up on his doorstep and he’s obliged to take care of the youth because something has happened to their parents. His disdain for raising children ends up slowly changing now that he finally met one and just as he turns a corner and becomes a fully functioning member of society, the parent comes back and there’s an emotional scene where everyone realises that this mysterious man is a better parent than the parent, roll credits. Yeah, that’s the basic plot of Palmer and at least a dozen other films that you can probably name (why not name them in the comments, engagement is king!) and it takes an interesting twist to make the story interesting. Palmer has such a twist and it’s pretty impressive.
Continue reading “Palmer (2021) – Surprisingly Touching”
The Marksman (2021) – You’re Taken The Piss
Released: 21st January
Seen: 4th February
Can we, as a society, just admit that Liam Neeson action films have become repetitive and stale? Is that a thing that we can collectively do? Hell, let’s be honest, they were getting stale roughly around the third time he played a character who had a member of his family taken. It’s now to the point where you could write a Liam Neeson action film using a madlib form, they all have the same basic plot and only change the minor superficial details. It’s always the same and every time it gets a little bit less interesting and The Marksman is just another one for the pile.
Continue reading “The Marksman (2021) – You’re Taken The Piss”
The Night (2021) – The Outside Shining
So, first review of feb and it’s one that’s over on Soda & Telepaths where I talk about the indie film The Night, which is basically The Shining but through a different cultural lens and it’s really good but please read my review over there so I look all big and impressive
One Night In Miami (2021) – Miami is Nice
Released: 8th January
Seen: 22nd January
Sometimes an idea doesn’t have to be complex to be effective, it can be as simple as “Let’s throw a bunch of people in a room and see what happens” and it’ll create something fascinating. We’ve seen this in film all the time, one of the first examples I remember is a little film called Murder by Death which asked what’d happen if a bunch of fictional detectives were thrown together and tasked with solving a murder. It’s a fun way to work, to try and figure out what would happen with big personalities being put into a pressure cooker and having to interact. Of course, this can also be used to create a serious work that’s designed to grab the audience and shake them up a little bit… enter One Night In Miami.
Continue reading “One Night In Miami (2021) – Miami is Nice”
Movie Meister Reviews 